Become What You Behold Ruth Simons Ep 255

“Don’t care how, I want it now!” When we watch Veruca Salt sing those words in Willy Wonka we are immediately repulsed. And yet, lots of our time and energy is spent trying to unlock the secrets to a quick change of our circumstance.  This week, mom of seven Helen Smallbone, encourages us that following Christ and parenting alike are long games. Marathons, in fact. She has honesty and wisdom to offer as we strive to grow and maintain relationships with our kids that last into adulthood. She also encourages us with some practical ways to foster relationships between our kids, to get them working, and retain our own sanity.  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by some experienced moms and benefit from their wisdom. This year I'm recording new interviews and I’m asking guests about their “mom brands”. They share their values, unique assignments God has given them and what helps their family flourish. The goal is to help you define your "mom brand" and the places God is assigning you.  Discussion Questions: What stood out to you from the episode?  Do you take a “mum’s time out” during the day? Why or why not? What would change about your day if you did?  How do you balance connection with your kids while maintaining the boundaries of a parent-child relationship? How do you typically handle sibling conflict? Which of Helen’s tactics could you adapt to use in your own home?  How do you maintain or reestablish connection with your child after an argument/difficult exchange? What’s your favorite way to help kids get their energy out? If another mom shares one that might work at your house, write it down!  Helen reminded us that motherhood is not for the faint of heart - what aspect of motherhood has got you feeling fainthearted? Spend some time praying for one another about those specific areas.  Connect with Helen Smallbone:  Website:  https://www.mumlife.org/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helenjsmallbone/  Instagram:  @MumLifeCommunity Podcast: MUM Life Community  Links Mentioned: Behind the Lights: The Extraordinary Adventure of a Mum and Her Family by Helen Smallbone  PAST EPISODE: Gentle Christ-Centered Parenting {Ep 363} Related Episodes: Raising Rock Stars on a Firm Foundation :: Helen Smallbone [Ep 166] Summer of Mentorship 2019 Week Four :: Helen Smallbone  Featured Sponsors:  Thrive. Join Thrive Market today and get $80 in free groceries! Visit ThriveMarket.com/DMA. Peloton. The Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet! Including FREE delivery and setup. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Fabric. Protect your family with term life insurance now, in just 10 minutes. Apply today at MeetFabric.com/DMA to start protecting your family today.

20 Juni 202246min

Tragedy struck and Paulette Franklin could have given up hope. Instead, she used it as a chance to “bring together the village of hope and help” from her extended family, namely her aunts, who lived both near and far. They rallied around Paulette and her boys through presence and connection. Make no mistake, single parenting was still hard work, but by clinging to her faith in God and the village around her, she and her boys thrived.  Though this bond with extended family was knitted together well before Paulette’s husband passed away, she had to let them in, she had to let them help. For Paulette’s middle son, DeVon, and his brothers, their aunts’ houses became places of refuge and connection that they still rely on to this day.  DeVon and his aunts tell their compelling and encouraging story in his audiobook, It Takes a Woman, available now on Audible. Through the audiobook all of our villages are enlarged, all of their wisdom can be ours. Connect with DeVon and Paulette Franklin:  Website:  https://devonfranklin.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DeVonFranklinOfficial  Instagram:  @DeVonFranklin Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKqTVGX0BZGQ5xPX98ibb4g  Twitter: @DeVonFranklin   Links Mentioned:    It Takes a Woman audiobook by DeVon Franklin Heather’s Interview with Jennifer Garner and Christy Beam (start at 32:20 mark)   Related Episodes: Be Vulnerable, Find Your People :: Jennie Allen [Ep 354] Mom, You are Important, but Not Essential, That’s Good News :: Brittany J. Turner [Ep 361] Truth for When You Feel Like a Bad Mom :: Jamie Ivey [Ep 339]  Featured Sponsors:  Athena Club–Get 20% off your first order at AthenaClub.com with promo code dma.  Rothy’s–Your new favorite shoes are waiting. Discover the versatile styles you can wear absolutely anywhere and get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/DMA.  Ladder– So go to LadderLife.com/dma today to see if you’re instantly approved.

13 Juni 202238min

Over 20% of Gen Z identifies as LGBTQ+.  That’s roughly 1 in 4 of today’s teen and young adult populations. There is a lot of confusion around gender and sexuality in our Christian culture today - how do we love others well that have different belief systems and  different language around gender and sexuality? How do we parent our children in a way that honors our faith and what we believe to be true? What do we do with the Church’s reputation of hate towards LGBTQ people we inherited?  With even the staunchest of liberals asking questions around the sharp rise in people identifying as LGBTQ our grace and truth filled responses are more important than ever. This week’s guest, Dr. Preston Sprinkle, is the co-founder and president of The Center for Faith, Gender, and Sexuality and has written several books guiding Christians through these areas including Embodied: Transgender Identities, the Church + What the Bible has to Say and People to be Loved.  Connect with Preston Sprinkle:  Website:  https://www.prestonsprinkle.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PrestonMSprinkle?fref=ts  Instagram:  @preston.sprinkle Twitter: @PrestonSprinkle Podcast: Theology in the Raw   Links Mentioned:   Bill Maher on Real Time with Bill Maher: New Rule: Along for the Pride May 20, 2022: Mark Esper, Donna Brazile, Adam Carolla (Full Episode)  Clip that was discussed: New Rule: Along for the Pride The Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender The Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender course on Parenting LGBTQ Kids Related Episodes: Preparing Now for Future Puberty and Masturbation Questions :: Megan Michelson and Mary Flo Ridley [Ep 243] Let’s Talk About Sex :: Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson [Ep 328] Sexual Identity and Radical Ordinary Hospitality :: Rosaria Butterfield [Ep 301] Gay Girl, Good God :: Jackie Hill Perry [Ep 214] When to Have “The Talk” :: Mary Flo Ridley [Encore] Birds and Bees (Continuing the Conversation) :: Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson [Ep 153] Featured Sponsors:  HelloFresh. Go to HelloFresh.com/dma16 and use code dma16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts! Pair Eye Wear. Get glasses as unique as you are.  Go to paireyewear.com/DMA for 15% off your first purchase. Stitch Fix. Sign up today at StitchFix.com/DMA to get $20 off your first purchase.

6 Juni 202258min

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11 is a very familiar verse, but do you take it as a life-giving exhortation or do you shove it into the mental closet of “shoulds”?  The rest of Psalm 119 tells us the person who loves God’s word enough to hide it in their heart finds peace, wisdom, delight, comfort, blessing, shameless life, reminders of the Lord’s nearness, and promises that will endure forever - just to name a few!  So why don’t we memorize scripture?  What if you had a system that was simple and beautiful and easy enough for the whole family to practice together? This week’s guest, Natalie Abbott, is a mom of five who knows firsthand of the wonderful things the rest of Psalm 119 promises the person who hides God’s word in their heart.  She and her sister, Vera, created Dwell Differently, a system of temporary tattoos and devotional cards all beautifully designed for simple memorization of and meditation on one verse a month. It gives individuals, families or friend groups a chance to sow one verse into every aspect of their lives and then reap the peace and wisdom that comes from nearness to God.  Connect with Natalie Abbott:  Website:  https://dwelldifferently.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dwelldifferently/  Instagram:  @dwelldifferently  Podcast: https://dwelldifferently.com/pages/dwell-podcast-2  Links Mentioned:   Dwell Differently. Visit www.dwelldifferently.com to get the first month free of a FAMILY membership ($12 value) use the code: DMA   Related Episodes: Praying the Scriptures :: Jodie Berndt [Ep 194] Equipping Your Kids for Difficulty :: Kim Sorgius [Ep 356] Must Have Conversations :: Vicki Courtney [Ep 239] Gospel-Focused Conversations :: Joel Fitzpatrick [Ep 251] Featured Sponsors:  Caraway. Visit Carawayhome.com/DMA for 10% off your next purchase.  Stitch Fix. Get 25% off when you keep everything in your Kid’s Fix. StitchFix.com/DMA Fabric. Protect your family with term life insurance now, in just 10 minutes. Apply today at MeetFabric.com/DMA

30 Maj 202243min

Our sons are constantly receiving messages about how to handle their emotions - from us as moms and dads, or from other men in their lives and from our culture as well. All too often that message has been “Be strong, emotion other than anger only shows weakness” and this to their detriment. Anxiety and depression are rapidly on the rise and our boys are not immune.  We need our boys to grow into men who are strong of character and a beautiful, if undervalued, aspect of that is helping them learn how to name and process their emotions. This can be difficult to do as a grown up - imagine how your child experiences this and the training they need!  Counselor and author David Thomas works regularly with boys and their families to help them put his three R’s of emotional processing into practice - recognize, regulate, and repair. Listen as he walks us through the importance of these practices and how they can set our sons up for lifelong emotional health. His new book, Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Tools You Son Can Build On for Life, and companion study guide for boys, Strong and Smart: A Boy’s Guide to Building Healthy Emotions release June 14th Connect with David Thomas:  Website:  https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/raisingboysandgirls  Instagram:  @raisingboysandgirls Podcast: Raising Boys and Girls Podcast Links Mentioned:   Emotions Chart Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Tools Your Son Can Build On for Life by David Thomas Strong and Smart: A Boy’s Guide to Building Healthy Emotions by David Thomas  Related Episodes: Understanding Boys Better :: David Thomas [Ep 315] Bruce Learns to Label His Feelings :: Bruce & Heather [Ep 316] Emotional Milestones :: Sissy Goff & David Thomas [Ep 160] The Art of Nurturing Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 119] Getting Brave About Anxiety :: Sissy Goff [Ep 311] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive. Join Thrive Market today to get 40% off your first order AND a FREE gift worth over fifty dollars! Visit ThriveMarket.com/DMA. Peloton. The Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet! Including FREE delivery and setup. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Storyworth. Save $10 on your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/DMA.

23 Maj 20221h 3min

Mommy Wars. They may have started out as “working mom” v. “stay at home mom” but it has morphed (or devolved) into something much bigger. While, in the eyes of our culture, “you do you” might have freed us to make different choices than another mom, has it drawn us together and given us the support we need? Parenting is so difficult and Ecclesiastes reminds us that toiling away alone is tantamount to trying to catch smoke. What we need instead are co-laborers. We need other moms to come alongside us, not because we agree on everything, but because we have a common goal - the flourishing of the next generation.  We need to come alongside other moms because when we pit ourselves against one another due to differences in parenting styles, we cut off our nose to spite our collective face. Join Heather this week as she challenges us to look introspectively and grow in conflict resolution in light of Ecclesiastes 4.  Links Mentioned:   Resolving Sibling Conflict :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 126] Bruce Learns to Label His Feelings :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 316] How to Help a Friend Process Life :: Heather and Stephanie [Ep 359] Fighting Shame through Community :: Dr Curt Thompson [Ep 308]  Featured Sponsors:  Ladder Financial. Go to LadderLife.com/dma to see if you’re instantly approved.  Athena Club. Get the best shave of your life with the Athena Club Razor Kit. Get 20% off your first order at AthenaClub.com. Use promo code DMA.   Rothy’s. Discover the versatile styles you can wear absolutely anywhere and get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/DMA.

16 Maj 202238min

God ordains the time and space we inhabit - sometimes that’s one home for decades, sometimes it’s 12 homes in 6 years and instant homelessness at age 18. It was the latter for Tori Petersen and for so many other children in the foster care system. Tori has accomplished a lot since then - 5 time State Champion in track and field, a book releasing August 30th, and even a Mrs. Universe 2022 title. But if you asked her how she got here, she would say it was because someone loved and served the “least of these.” (Matthew 25:40) She was the least of these. She experienced extreme difficulty while in foster care, but looking back she sees God’s fatherly hand guiding her all along the way, loving her through the words and actions of her track coach, and now working through her and her husband to others as they model loving and serving the “least of these” for their own kids. Tori tells her compelling story in her new book, Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family Through Foster Care, which releases August 30, 2022.  Connect with Tori Petersen:  Website:  https://www.torihopepetersen.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/torihopepetersen  Instagram:  @torihopepetersen Links Mentioned:    Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family Through Foster Care by Tori Hope Petersen Pre-sale link  Related Episodes: Foster Care Story of Hope :: Victoria Petersen [Ep 263] How to Discern God’s Will and Stick With It :: Tricia Goyer [Ep 179] Adopting Special Needs :: Alice & Candace [Ep 213] Family Transformation Starts With Personal Revival :: KJ Perdomo [Ep 227] Overwhelmed Beyond Your Strength :: Jackie Askvig [Ep 313] Featured Sponsors:  StitchFix Kids. Grab 25% off your Kid’s Fix when you keep everything at StitchFix.com/DMA  Hello Fresh. Get up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com/dma16 Caraway Home. Take 10% off your next purchase at VisitCarawayhome.com/DMA

9 Maj 202247min

The kitchen. It can be a place of glorious delight or it can be a place of burnt despair. Whether it’s mostly delight or mostly disaster for you, it’s often a place of frustration. Everyone is hungry and needs something all the time or everyone is refusing to eat; there isn’t enough space or you feel like a pinball trying to get people what they need.  Enter Kendra Adachi, aka The Lazy Genius. She’s here to help you be a genius at what matters and lazy about what doesn’t and she’s at it again, this time in the kitchen. She gives you permission, she helps you analyze and streamline, but most importantly she’s offering you a middle ground - the space between perfection and hot-mess, where you can love your people well with those important moments at the table but not be overwhelmed with how to get there. (Spoiler alert: we can apply these principles to the rest of our lives too!)  Kendra is a wife, mom, and author. Her latest book, The Lazy Genius Kitchen: Have What You Need, Use What You Have, and Enjoy it Like Never Before releases May 3, 2022.  Connect with Kendra Adachi:  Website:  https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thelazygeniuscollective  Instagram:  @thelazygenius  Podcast: The Lazy Genius Podcast   Links Mentioned:    The Lazy Genius Kitchen: Have What You Need, Use What You Have, and Enjoy it Like Never Before  The Hub of all Lazy Genius Information - https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/  Related Episodes: Choose What Matters to You :: Kendra Adachi [Ep 293] Which Type of Rest Do You Need :: Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith [Ep 209] Owning Your Motherhood :: Erin Moon & Courtney Cleveland [Ep 325] Featured Sponsors:  Ana Luisa. Make Mom's Day and treat her to new jewelry pieces with Ana Luisa's Buy One, Get One 40% OFF sale! One piece for her, and one piece for you at shop.analuisa.com/alone. Pair Eyewear. Go to paireyewear.com/DMA for 15% off your first purchase. Caraway Home. Take 10% off your next purchase at VisitCarawayhome.com/DMA

2 Maj 202253min