Survivor Story - Tori's Story of Teen Dating Violence

Ellen Higgins and Deborah Hackworth talk with Claudia Pahls about domestic violence in this episode. It's not about anger, it's about power and control. "An abuser isn't 'out of control.' They control themselves - they aren't abusing random people. They control their anger and abuse and focus it on their victims." Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.​ Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.​ Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating.​Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. Power and Control Wheel ​You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:​ Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you. Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive. Tries to isolate you from family or friends. Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with. Does not want you to work. Controls finances or refuses to share money. Punishes you by withholding affection. Expects you to ask permission. Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets. Humiliates you in any way.​ ​You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:​ Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.). Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you. Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place. Scared you by driving recklessly. Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you. Forced you to leave your home. Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving. Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention. Hurt your children. Used physical force in sexual situations. Visit https://www.dasasmi.org/ for resources or call our 24-hour hotline at 800-828-2023.

22 Maj 201937min

How do you recognize dating violence in your teenager's relationship? Is jealousy a red flag? What about wanting to know "Who are you texting and talking to?" a normal part of teen dating? In this episode Claudia Pahls talks with Deb Hackworth, Director of Advocacy Services, and Tori, Child Advocate for DASAS. They cover healthy relationships, specifically among teenagers. This episode features some warning signs, tips on how to deal with the situation if your teen is in an unhealthy relationship, and more. Visit https://www.dasasmi.org/ for resources or call our 24-hour hotline at 800-828-2023.

8 Maj 201926min

How does trauma like sexual assault affect us? Licensed master social worker and DASAS therapist Elizabeth Alderson explores how trauma impacts people. Whether it's sexual assault or other trauma, we're all affected differently. Fight, flight, or freeze Where does trauma affect us? How can you find healing? What happens to our bodies and minds during trauma? Visit https://www.dasasmi.org/ for resources or call our 24-hour hotline at 800-828-2023.

1 Maj 201934min

Abi shares her story of sexual assault to offer hope to others facing abuse. Two instances of abuse shaped Abi's journey. A female babysitter first assaulted Abi when she was a child. "I didn't know it was wrong. I didn't know that adults (teenager) shouldn't do that." Between the ages of 4-and-6 years old, Abi's mom hired a family member to babysit her and her brothers. She remembers this teenage babysitter pretending that Abi was asleep. Years later as a teenager herself she realized what happened and knew it was molestation. At the time, her boyfriend encouraged her to keep it hidden so the perpetrator and Abi's family wouldn't be "traumatized" by the revelation. Eventually Abi was able to face the assault, understand how it impacted her, and begin healing. Years later as a freshman in college, Abi was studying with a male classmate who assaulted her. Eventually she left the college. It wasn't until a class at a different school that Abi realized that services existed to help survivors heal from their experiences. Both traumatic experiences affected Abi in different ways, which she shares in her conversation with DASAS Executive Director Rose Ludwick. Visit https://www.dasasmi.org/ for resources or call our 24-hour hotline at 800-828-2023.

24 Apr 201921min

Welcome to I'm Not In An Abusive Relationship. Elizabeth Alderson and Ellen Higgins speak with Claudia Pahls about myths surrounding sexual assault. Most assaults are not strangers hiding in the shadows. Victims and survivors aren't just women. Men aren't the problem, but they are a major part of the solution. Visit https://www.dasasmi.org/ for resources.

17 Apr 201927min

The Domestic And Sexual Abuse Awareness panel takes on the #metoo movement and its impact on sexual assault awareness. How has #metoo affected reporting? Has #metoo triggered more reports? Where did #metoo start? How do you talk to children - and when - about appropriate touch and inappropriate touch?

10 Apr 201926min

I'm Not In An Abusive Relationship takes on Sexual Abuse Awareness Month. Host Claudia Pahls welcomes a panel from Domestic and Sexual Abuse Services to the show. Our panel: Deborah Hackworth, Director of Advocacy Services; Rose Ludwick, Executive Director of DASAS; Elizabeth Alderson, Licensed Master Social Worker & Therapist. What is sexual assault awareness month? What is denim day? Why denim? For the past 20 years, Peace Over Violence has run its Denim Day campaign on a Wednesday in April in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. The campaign began after a ruling by the Italian Supreme Court where a rape conviction was overturned because the justices felt that since the victim was wearing tight jeans she must have helped the person who raped her remove her jeans, thereby implying consent. The following day, the women in the Italian Parliament came to work wearing jeans in solidarity with the victim. Peace Over Violence developed the Denim Day campaign in response to this case and the activism surrounding it. Since then, wearing jeans on Denim Day has become a symbol of protest against erroneous and destructive attitudes about sexual harassment, abuse, assault and rape. In this sexual violence prevention and education campaign we ask community members, elected officials, businesses and students to make a social statement with their fashion statement by wearing jeans on this day as a visible means of protest against the misconceptions that surround sexual violence.     Denim Day is April 24, 2019! How does sexual assault awareness month help survivors and prevention? Visit https://www.dasasmi.org/ for resources.

27 Mars 201920min