Emotional Intelligence: Why the FBI Trains for Empathy, and You Should Too w/ Steven Stein
People avoid you for reasons that have nothing to do with your deodorant. You can be smart, talented, even funny—but if people feel unseen or misunderstood around you, your life gets smaller. Dr. Steven Stein has tested emotional intelligence in everyone from Air Force recruiters to reality TV contestants. And the results are weirdly human. EQ isn’t about being soft. It’s about knowing when to shut up, when to speak up, and when to walk away. This episode breaks down emotional intelligence like it’s a muscle group: you’ve got to work it, stress it, and recover from it. Steven explains the science, shares unexpected stories (like lighthouse keepers and narcissists), and makes EQ feel practical We explore: 🔹 Spot the everyday signs you're low on EQ (and how to fix them) 🔹 Build empathy without becoming a pushover 🔹 Train your emotional intelligence like going to the gym 🔹 The biggest traits of success in the FBI, air force, army and navy 🔹 The psychology of reality TV Come away with the practical side of emotional intelligence in real life - not just in theory How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Steven Stein Bestselling author and psychologist who has worked with leading corporates, defense agencies and some of the biggest reality TV shows. Steven J. Stein Books: EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and your success Emotional Intelligence for Dummies Hardiness: Making stress work for you to achieve your goals Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Emotional Intelligence: Why the FBI Trains for Empathy, and You Should Too w/ Steven Stein Chapters: 00:00 Emotional Intelligence - Steven Stein Intro 02:18 Everyday signs of emotional intelligence 05:40 Improving Emotional Intelligence 08:02 Emotional Intelligence in Different Professions 11:30 Coaching for Emotional Intelligence at Work 14:20 The US Air Force Emotional Intelligence Study 17:00 Empathy Training Course 18:39 Emotional Intelligence and Neurodiversity 23:22 Trainable Aspects of Emotional Intelligence 24:40 Building Empathy by Using Drugs 27:11 Personal Growth in Emotional Intelligence 30:41 Reality TV and Emotional Intelligence 34:54 Cross-Cultural Differences in EQ 38:20 General Likability vs. Emotional Intelligence 40:42 Tips to Build Assertiveness 43:40 Relationship between IQ and EQ 49:59 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
2 Maj 54min
Doing the thing - a short sharp masterclass on creating focus
There are a million ways to waste time. We don't need a million and one ways to be productive. We just need to - Do The Thing It's easy to overcomplicate productivity: Over analysing your habits Over examing your past Over sharing your strategies. These are all effective ways to not be productive. In this episode, we cut through the fluff and focus on the pure, simple truths. How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Doing the thing - a short sharp masterclass on creating focus Chapters: 00:00 The many ways to tackle productivity 01:35 Essay - "Doing the thing" 03:08 Busy vs productive 04:47 Productivity for a podcaster 07:00 False productivity - Hiking 08:43 Psychology of productivity 09:27 Procrastination - Temporal Motivation Theory 10:49 Planning Fallacy 11:26 Zegarknik effect - Just start 13:19 Adverts 13:25 Questions and answers 13:34 When should I do the thing? 13:44 What if I don't have time? 13:58 How do you make time? 14:59 What if it's hard? 15:48 What if I am not ready to do the thing? 18:45 What if I don't know how to do the thing? 20:01 What if I fail? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
29 Apr 25min
Overthinking: The psychology of catastrophizing and how to stop assuming the worst
We don’t see the future. We predict it — and sometimes we predict disaster before it’s even possible. Catastrophizing is a mental reflex. It’s your mind, desperate for control, drawing monsters where none exist yet. In this episode, we explore the quiet space between stimulus and story — the moment you could choose curiosity over certainty. Relationships, careers, self-worth: all suffer when we confuse our imagined outcomes with inevitable truths. But if we learn to watch the story unfold without believing it, something remarkable happens. We reclaim possibility. You’ll leave with: Understanding of how the brain creates fear to protect itself Tools for building awareness instead of reaction A framework for making peace with uncertainty — and using it to grow The psychology that makes false fears feel real Stop letting your brain run disaster drills for things that haven’t happened. Tune in. How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 AD-FREE with Premium: 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs + Bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Overthinking: The psychology of catastrophizing and how to stop assuming the worst Chapters: 00:00 Why this topic is popular 01:45 What is catastrophising 04:18 Build awareness 07:10 Magnifying and minimising 08:32 More details feels more real. 10:16 The human tendency to just invent stories 13:22 ADHD 15:31 Catastrophizing and being diagnosed with ADHD 16:17 Balancing worst and best scenarios 17:23 Social anxiety example 19:09 Write a journal 20:31 Alex Hormozi selling gym subscriptions 21:09 Want and don't want chair 23:26 4 stages of intrusive thoughts 28:50 4 step method for mitigating catastrophization 28:50 Step 1 - Awareness 29:57 Step 2 - Challenging the thought 30:40 Step 3 - Imagine the best 31:11 Step 4 - Accept uncertainty 32:55 Catastrophizing is the opposite of Growth mindset 33:14 Episode summary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
25 Apr 36min
Bad Habits: The Psychology of Behavioural Debt—and How to Pay It Off
What if the person you think you are is an outdated idea? In this episode, we explore how habits form—not from logic, but from history. From childhood rules to adult rituals, your behaviours aren’t just choices. They’re echoes. We look at behavioural debt: how the past continues to extract payments from your present and what you can do about it. We look expansively at different ways we pick up all these habits and identities, and then use 5 ideas from psychology and philosophy to fix them. There’s a monk shedding illusions, a writer who redefined his identity, and a cycling team that changed everything with 1% improvements. These aren’t just stories. They’re invitations—to become intentional, to design rituals that serve who you want to be, not who you used to be. Takeaways: Reframe your identity as something you craft, not inherit Use “identity microshifts” to pay off your behavioural debt Hack your own Fresh Start Effect—even on a random Tuesday Learn how to become yourself through subtraction instead of adding more things If you’ve ever felt like your habits were someone else’s or like your current actions no longer serve who you are, this episode will make a lot of sense to you. The real work isn’t in learning more—it’s in unlearning what no longer fits. How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8 AD-FREE with Premium: 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs + Bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Bad Habits: The Psychology of Behavioural Debt—and How to Pay It Off Chapters: 00:00 What makes you, you? 02:52 Memory and the self 04:20 British Accents and lessons of children 05:58 Attachment and behaviour 07:58 Small Actions Compound 09:36 Advert - Magic Mind 09:38 Opening our minds 11:01 Every story has a villain 14:24 Path Dependence: The Continuity Trap 16:21 Self Schema Theory: The Stories We Tell Ourselves 17:52 Neuroplasticity - Hebb's Law and rewiring brain connections 19:56 Friedrich Nietzsche and becoming who you are 21:27 Psychological Rebirth: The Fresh Start Effect 23:20 Conclusion - Paying of behavioural debt 24:36 Feedback 25:07 Send Off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
22 Apr 28min
Eat, Pray, Set Boundaries: The psychology of getting your needs met
How often do you say no? In this episode, I unpack the beautiful mess that is boundary-setting—with stories, psychology, and a touch of Brexit. This episode dives deep into what it really means to assert your needs. Boundaries aren’t about building walls—they’re more like installing a front door with a lock you actually use. We explore why people-pleasing kills self-respect, how resentment creeps in when you’re too “nice,” and why your future depends on the limits you’re willing to draw today. What you’ll take away: 10 signs of poor boundaries How to spot a weak boundary before it drains your energy Why saying no can be the kindest thing you do You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate How to identify emotional manipulation in everyday relationships A quadrant model that makes difficult conversations easier Listen now if you’re ready to stop being agreeable and start being respected. AD-FREE with Premium: 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs + Bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Eat, Pray, Set Boundaries: The psychology of getting your needs met Chapters: 00:00 Setting boundaries for how you want to be treated 02:58 Boundaires in life Example 05:10 Why boundaries need balance 07:19 10 signs of poor boundaries 07:35 Difficulty making decisions 07:58 Feeling selfish for saying no 08:18 Frequent apologizing 08:49 Uncertainty about what to share 09:13 Passive aggressiveness 09:49 Losing sense of self 10:10 Need for external validation 10:26 Resentment 10:43 Constant sense of fatigue 11:02 Dramatic relationships 11:34 Abusive situations 15:03 Identifying crap boundaries 15:14 Floppy boundary 17:22 Rigid boundary 19:10 Why we struggle with boundaries 23:09 Creating healthy boundaries 23:39 Personal boundaries 24:07 Social boundaries 25:24 Value-based boundaries 26:43 Communicating boundaries 28:25 Traffic light framework 31:58 The importance of independence 34:41 Book suggestions 35:22 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
18 Apr 39min
Science of Mental Toughness: Assess yourself using the 4 quadrants of resilience
What separates those who break from those who bend? A shift—not in strength, but in perspective. In today’s episode, we look at the 4 quadrants of mental resilience: Control, Commitment, Challenge, and Confidence —using a blend of metaphors, Stoic wisdom, and powerful stories from history. Think of your mind like a car: control is the steering wheel, commitment is the fuel, challenge is the terrain, and confidence? That’s your engine. From Helen Keller to Joan of Arc, you’ll see how legendary mental strength isn’t born—it’s built. Plus, learn why reacting to criticism like a calm kung-fu master might be your new superpower. Mental toughness isn’t built in heroic moments; it’s forged in the quiet choice to show up again. Reflect on where you place your power: inside or out? Anchor your goals in systems, not wishful thinking. Let difficulty be your teacher, not your warning sign. If you’re ready to change how you see resilience, this episode will shift everything. WORKSHOP - Building certainty in an uncertain world 😱 The world is spinning faster and increasingly feels unhinged ✊ Use Psychology to build strong core foundations and make long-term decisions 🗓️ This week only - 30% off code - EARLYBIRD 🎟️ Join us - https://workshop.growthmindsetpodcast.com Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Science of Mental Toughness: Assess yourself using the 4 quadrants of resilience Chapters: 00:00 The meaning in suffering 02:14 The 4 elements of mental toughness 02:47 Quadrant of control 07:13 Quadrant of commitment 10:59 Quadrant of challenge 16:02 Quadrant of confidence 20:56 Building mental toughness requires practice 26:57 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
15 Apr 30min
Nervous System Mastery: Build resilience, reduce stress and feel more yourself - w/ Esin Pinarli
There’s only so much logic you can apply to your problems, at some point you need to work with your biology. The nervous system it an incredible organ built to help you survive and it can over-ride your conscious processing at will. To stop tripping over our barriers and build true resilience, reduce stress & feel more alive we need there is a way. Working with your nervous system instead of against it. On the show we invite Esin Pinarli a licensed therapist and expert in working with our nervous system to give us a masterclass on turning discomfort into growth. Three Takeaways: Your nervous system doesn’t want you to succeed—it wants you to survive. Discomfort is a signal, not a stop sign. You grow by expanding your window of tolerance, not by breaking through it. Real personal growth doesn’t come from reading another book or “thinking positive.” It comes from your body. From doing the hard thing, just a little bit at a time. We talk about titration (small steps), edge surfing (riding discomfort), and how your brain actually rewires itself when you face fear—gracefully. Turns out, the part of your brain responsible for willpower literally grows when you push yourself. This is about learning to stretch without snapping. To build a stronger relationship with yourself—one uncomfortable moment at a time. Related Episodes Neuroscience of Fear - Spotify - Apple 4 Hidden Fears sabotaging your life - Spotify - Apple Stephen Porges: Polyvagal Theory and building inner peace - Spotify - Apple Jessica Baum: Attachment theory and relationships - Spotify - Apple Edge Surfing: How to slow down time - Spotify - Apple WORKSHOP - Building certainty in an uncertain world 😱 The world is spinning faster and increasingly feels unhinged ✊ Use Psychology to build strong core foundations and make long-term decisions 🎟️ Join us - https://workshop.growthmindsetpodcast.com Sponsors 🧪 Magic Mind - Mental performance shot - 50% off - https://MagicMind.com/GrowthEDU - code GROWTH50 🌱 Cozy Earth - Luxury bedding and loungewear 35% off - https//CozyEarth.com - code GROWTH Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Contact Esin Practice - https://www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/esin-pinarli-73ab1722/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw/ Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Nervous System Mastery: Build resilience, reduce stress and feel more yourself - w/ Esin Pinarli Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to nervous system mastery 03:09 Defining Growth Mindset 04:16 The Science Behind Willpower 06:53 Skill Breaks and Titration 08:54 Metaphors for Growth 09:56 Understanding the Nervous System 11:47 Fear of Intimacy and Abandonment 13:49 The Duality of Human Nature 18:39 Hysterical = historical -> energy stored in body 19:36 How to discharge energy 21:16 Exercise as an antidepressant 23:30 Edge surfing and accepting growth 28:40 Magic Mind 30:14 Accepting this moment 31:46 Navigating co-dependant relationships and personal growth that affects relationships 37:17 What is Shame 38:52 The Role of Gratitude and Glimmers 44:28 The Journey of Self-Improvement 50:57 Extra content from Esin 52:22 Take homes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
11 Apr 58min
The Science Behind Changing Your Mind (and how to build better taste)
The problem with being human is that we believe our version of truth is the truth. Not because we’re bad—but because we’re wired that way. This episode is a story of blindness. Not the kind you see—but the kind you don’t even know you have. You’re not as open-minded as you think. That’s not an insult—it’s just how the brain works. We shortcut. We judge. We protect our ego like it’s a vintage vinyl. In this episode, I dive into the strange ways our own minds trick us into thinking we're rational, original, and morally superior. I walk through how prejudice isn't just about race—it's about music, anger, taste, careers, and even your opinion of running. You’ll hear about blind spots in your day-to-day that quietly shape your reality, and how to start noticing them before they run the show. Takeaways: Why your opinions probably aren’t your own Why improving your taste is more important than finding your passion A simple trick to challenge your ego without bruising it You can’t change the world if you can’t first question the lens you’re using to see it. This episode won’t change your mind—you will. WORKSHOP - Building certainty in an uncertain world 😱 The world is spinning faster and increasingly feels unhinged ✊ Use Psychology to build strong core foundations and make long-term decisions 🗓️ This week only - 30% off code - EARLYBIRD 🎟️ Join us - https://workshop.growthmindsetpodcast.com UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: The Science Behind Changing Your Mind (and how to build better taste) Chapters: 00:00 You are wrong about a few things 02:19 Why is Prejudice So Hard to Notice 03:48 How Prejudice Happens 05:25 Lacking Awareness of What Change Would be Like 07:23 Communication 09:05 Where People Live 12:36 Lesson from Rick Rubin 13:22 Talent vs. Skill 16:05 The Issue of Feeling Special 17:34 3 Stories to Ground Yourself 17:48 1st - Being 1st isn't the best 20:33 2nd - other people's problems are also our problems. 22:27 3rd - Don't be A Racist 25:24 Send Off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
8 Apr 29min
