I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hot Dates: Help from an OKCupid Guru

Hot Dates: Help from an OKCupid Guru

Louis is at his wit's end with dating apps...so we called in reinforcements. Plus, some musings from Ceci. All summer, we're following a group of listeners as they date in real time around the country. We're calling this series Hot Dates—if you missed the introductory episode, go back and listen to it first. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Juni 20189min

Hot Dates: Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Hot Dates: Do As I Say, Not As I Do

One of our summer daters has had some big changes in his love life already. Subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, if you haven't already. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Juni 20187min

John Prine Wanted to Be Normal

John Prine Wanted to Be Normal

John Prine has been in the music business for 47 years, and at this point, he's fine being a self-proclaimed "oddball." Subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, if you haven't already. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Juni 201827min

Hot Dates: Romance Right Now

Hot Dates: Romance Right Now

Dating in 2018 can be frustrating. But a lot of you are doing it anyway...and some of you are letting us listen in.  Subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, if you haven't already. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Maj 201827min

Tayari Jones on Frills and Freedom

Tayari Jones on Frills and Freedom

The bestselling author of An American Marriage talks about writing her own rules for adulthood. Subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, if you haven't already. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Maj 201827min

Your Student Loan Updates

Your Student Loan Updates

Thousands paid off. Cuts to the beauty budget. A foster daughter. Our listeners share what's happened since appearing in our student loans episodes last year. Subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, if you haven't already. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Maj 201826min

When 'Daddy Dates' Pay The Bills

When 'Daddy Dates' Pay The Bills

A 22-year-old who calls herself a “professional sugar baby” explains why she goes on dates with much older men for money—and why the men don’t always think of her as a sex worker. Subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, if you haven't already. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Apr 201827min

A Son, A Mother, and Two Gun Crimes

A Son, A Mother, and Two Gun Crimes

Dwayne Betts committed a carjacking when he was 16 years old. For his mom, Gloria Hill, it was just the first in a series of events in her life involving a gun. Subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, if you haven't already. Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Apr 201829min

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