256. The Unfettered Urologist - Dr. Boone

Religion and Sex – Can They Be Bedfellows? Today we discuss the Muslim culture, sex, and vaginismus with Dr. Sadaf Lodhi, OBGyn and sex coach for Muslim women. She is host of the Muslim Sex Podcast – we discuss her origin story Religion can have a profound effect on one’s sex life/sexuality. Islam is a sex positive religion. When the Muslim countries were colonized they tended to become more puritanical. Islam discusses sex within the context of marriage. Many times women experience shame and people don’t talk about women’s pleasure. Common things Dr. Lodhi sees women coming to her with: Seeing sex as a duty Low libido Beliefs like sex is dirty or sex will be painful One of her most important things she likes to do is empower women through education. Women get pressure from their partner and an expectation that it is a duty. And they are failing them and God. Vaginismus – the involuntary contraction of the muscles surrounding the lower 1/3rd of the vagina. 1/3rd of Muslim culture may struggle with vaginismus. The role of mindfulness in helping vaginismus and low desire. “People make putting something in the vagina a big freaking deal” – Dr. C. The role of PT in treating vaginismus. There are no FDA approved medications for vaginismus. Dr. Lodhi shares a huge win with us. It is not about the number of times of sex a week. The role of the scholars and the males in helping women feel sex positive. Follow her on Social Media: Muslim Sex Podcast www.drsadaf.com Facebook: @DrSadafobgyn Instagram: @DrSadafobgyn TikTok: @DrSadafobgyn Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

30 Okt 202227min

A rundown of my time in NYC, moderating a Sex Ed panel for "the New Pause" symposium hosted by Stripes and The Swell. https://theswell.com https://iamstripes.com Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

23 Okt 202217min

Vanessa’s a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander’s a regular dude who’s been married to a sex therapist for over a decade Their hot take on desire. Their top three causes of low libido that they see 1) Painful sex 2) Unpleasurable sex 3) Relationship issues “Our libido gets affected by everything in our lives” – Vanessa Marin “Is my life actually supporting my libido?” – Vanessa Marin Let’s talk about initiation – tips, couples get stuck in old scripts that stop working as relationships change “You get rejected once and you think you are unlovable” – Dr. Casperson “initiation should feel like an invitation” – Vanessa “Initiation takes a large amount of vulnerability” – Vanessa “There are a lot of unhealthy gender dynamics that come up with initiation” – Xander Marin According to their online poll, only 2% of breast owners like the “boob honk” as a way to initiate sex. Spouses who avoid talking about sex – they are writing a book! What to do when a partner stonewalls the conversation – don’t start with the problems. Connected to feel like sex or sex to feel connected – often one of each in a partnership At what point should couples consider bringing in a therapist? How to find out how much sex is “right” for someone’s relationship Woman says – he doesn’t care about my pleasure – what to do? Vibrator envy – help for the woman when the partner doesn’t understand and being able to advocate for your pleasure. Consent and the problem of “I just do it for him” Avoiding sex because of erectile dysfunction. They help us trouble shoot. 2023 new book! Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life Hardcover – February 7, 2023 https://www.instagram.com/vanessamarintherapy/ https://vmtherapy.com https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pillow-talks/id1569466131?i=1000577319619 Sex Talks Book: Pre-Order - https://amzn.to/3CR8OT9 Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off: NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

16 Okt 202252min

Listen to this very deep and vulnerable conversation I had with my friend Dr. Kathy Zhang on her podcast, The Purpose Filter. There are so many aspects to living a life of fulfillment, but what if there was one area of your life you could improve that would spill over into all others? Sounds like a bit of a life hack. Well, it is, and we want to share it with you on today’s episode. Is your sex life fulfilling, or are you just going through the motions? The empowerment you get from knowing what you want in the bedroom and being able to speak up and ask for it, or the ability to say no, when no means no, is a crucial element to all aspects of your life. If you can stand up for yourself in these very vulnerable and intimate situations, the empowerment that happens outside of the bedroom will come naturally. This all starts with you and your willingness to make a decision to uplevel your life and stop living on autopilot. “Should we care about the people who are sleeping with the people we are giving Viagra to?” “My husband died so now I need to take care of myself”. “It is easy to be average” “She just wants the damn thing to end – which is another reason that women fake orgasm” On faking orgasms - “He thinks it is the end of the party and you were never at the party.” “You can’t just give somebody desire. It is an inside job” “I think working on your sex life is the final frontier of personal growth.” “Everything you do to have a better sex life spills over to other aspects of your life” “What if my whole purpose in life is to tell people to use vaginal estrogen cream?” Tune in to hear how you can create more joy and abundance in your life! Topics discussed in this episode: • Dr. Casperson’s experience in a largely male dominated field • What is it like becoming the first doctor in the family • Bad advice Dr. Casperson received when she was becoming a doctor • Giving yourself permission to step into your power • Why your voice is important and unique • What was Dr. Casperson’s turning point to change the way she lived her life • Applying dying lessons now while we are living • Why women feel their pleasure and themselves are not a priority • How to move past shame and guilt surrounding sex and beyond • Going from being pulled along for the ride to getting into the driver seat • How young people should re-frame purpose • Sharing the gift of awareness and presence Connect with Dr. Kathy Zhang on Intagram https://www.instagram.com/purposefilter/ And on her website: https://luyikathyzhang.com/ Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

9 Okt 202250min

Meet Glen Lovelace! I love his generosity toward helping men in relationships and his masculine energy on this podcast! He shares his story from desperate (even suicidal) plans to living a life of helping others live their best relationships. When women learn about their sexuality and get empowered, often they feel stuck because of a spouse who they fear is not open to change.  I wanted to bring on someone who literally deals with this as his job.  Glen helps men who's wives have been transformed in one way or another, usually by coaching education.  Glenn Lovelace is the wingman for men whose wives have transformed from coaching. He is a certified coach through the life coach school. Glenn has coached over 3,000 clients 1 on 1 since 2008. His transformation started with bodybuilding after being in a very low place in his life. He decided he needed to prioritize himself to be the best spouse and father he could be.  "It’s okay to be uncomfortable." How to “gently” change your partner (and remember you can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed). 1) Show them how you have changed 2) Bring in a third party influencer 3) Learn how to speak the same language 4) Always remember you two are on the same team Roomate Syndrome – just existing together and losing touch why you love and are attracted to each other. If one person does their work, the marriage can get better. Your spouse is just there to love. Can couples start speaking the same language? Glen says yes! Intimacy not in the bedroom is important! Wanting your spouse to change for you to be happy is a toxic plan. Happy Wife Happy Life - it’s a lie and Glen explains how it wasn’t good for him. Each person is in charge of their own pleasure. Don’t assume what is needed in a situation - - Ask How to be a man worth desiring? Start dating and desiring your wife. Approach her how she wants to be approached. Date every week. Keep your commitments. There are seasons to your sexuality. Foundations of trust in a relationship - Security, trust, safety, stability The trouble with saying “divorce isn’t an option” Talk about your religion – what does your religion say about sex and marriage and how have you navigated any challenges? “Progress Creates Happiness” – Glen Lovelace https://glennlovelace.com/ https://www.instagram.com/itsyourwingman Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get a jump start on the coaching you heard in this episode and to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

2 Okt 20221h 6min

September Live Podcast – Why Couples Don’t Have Sex, Hormone Education, and More - Reassuring data on Estrogen and breast cancer - social media is associated with sex dysfunction - define erotica, why are we so scared of this word? - Why couples don’t have sex – thanks for the inspo www.instagram.com/yourdiagnonsense - top feelings in your fantasies - the more you focus on these the more you will enjoy sex, and the farther you get away - and if you aren’t getting these fulfilled, the more breaks you have on. And does society agree with your core feelings? It matters. -  Danish observational study on HT after BCa - What can I learn from boredom? - MHT and cholesterol changes Reassuring data regarding the use of hormone therapy at menopause and risk of breast cancer Pinkerton, JoAnn V.; Wilson, Carolyn S.; Kaunitz, Andrew M. Menopause. 29(9):1001-1004, September 2022. Cold S, Cold F, Jensen MB, Cronin-Fenton D, Christiansen P, Ejlertsen B. Systemic or Vaginal Hormone Therapy After Early Breast Cancer: A Danish Observational Cohort Study. J Natl Cancer Inst. 2022 Jul 20:djac112. doi: 10.1093/jnci/djac112. Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

25 Sep 202238min

A mindwork episode! Dr. Ubell is one of the first physician life coaches! She gained and lost the same 40 lbs at least 10 times since puberty and now helps women become a team with their body and stop obsessing over food using the power of mindwork.  She reached out to me to be on the podcast and at first I didn’t know how to connect the dots besides life coaching. I have a podcast episode called “sex while fat” – we are okay at any size. I was worried she just wanted to talk about losing weight. So I said Okay if we can talk about how mind work in her arena can also relate to a positive body image and sex life. Like my older episodes talking about money and sex – these topics are more related than we think because of our thoughts about them. “I am interested in people stopping hating themselves” – Dr. Ubell What is diet culture? The concept of mutual respect between you and your body. Can weight loss goals exist with body positivity? Shame is useless. “I haven’t had success so there must be something wrong with me” Dr. Ubell Why do we get numb or disconnected from our bodies? Over eating as a trauma response – sexual assault or childhood trauma – I got big to not feel or too attractive. Changing one’s identity requires changing our thoughts. Menopause and weight gain/loss – watch what you believe about this. Acceptance of our bodies as we get older. Entitlement thoughts! I feel so seen! I am entitled to my latte! How to stop invalidating your emotions Relationship with yourself and thoughts about yourself are important for both weight loss and sexuality. Get her book here! https://amzn.to/3AYTwtU https://katrinaubellmd.com/ https://www.facebook.com/katrinaubellmd/ https://www.instagram.com/coachkatrinaubellmd/ Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

18 Sep 202233min

This was a Book Club I did with Dr. Rachel Rubin and Andrea Martin, NP last week.  Free first chapter on the website www.kellycaspersonmd.com  Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK  www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership  Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

11 Sep 202248min