009: The 3 R's of Healing from Loss, Trauma, or Major Life Transition with Phil Cohen

“Asking ‘why?’ is a valid question for a period, but it's not a place you want to live. You have to make a conscious decision not to live in that place.” -Phil Cohen

All of us have experienced loss- whether it's a person, a job, a relationship, or a property. And we know so well that there's no way to describe the intensity of the pain we have to go through.

During the grieving process, we see everything in black and the question of 'why?' only made it worse. We seek answers to make sense of what happened, but there's nothing. Eventually, we drown in grief and can't seem to get out .

Therefore, it's important to understand that grief isn’t something we can just get over with. It’s a natural, healthy response to loss. It may feel like we'll never be able to move on, but if we let ourselves get stuck in that place, our loss will only have more power over us.

It often takes a long time and a lot of effort to move forward— we just have to be patient. We remember, we grieve, we heal— but we don’t have to do all of those things at once.

The day Phil Cohen lost his son was also the day he almost lost himself. Every single day of the search and rescue operation was filled with anguish and also hope that his son, Perry, who was only 14 at that time, would be safe and alive. The darkest days eventually came when he was told that his son might never be found again. To a parent, this would be a death sentence. Years later, we see Phil still remembering every moment of that day- but no longer with a heavy heart, but as a man with passion and sincerity.

Listen in as Phil and I talk about where we can catch a gleamer of hope when we feel we can never recover from our pain, the unspoken truths about grief, the 3 R’s of healing (Reflect, Repair, React), how we can surpass the stage of acceptance and live our purpose, and a fine lesson about weathering the storms from cows and buffaloes.

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Highlights:

02:45 A Really Bad Storm

05:14 Misconceptions About Grief

10:48 Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows

15:40 The Lies Men Were Taught to Believe

19:47 The 3 R’s of

22:11 How to Surpass Acceptance

26:08 Recap