The Covert Narcissism Podcast5 Sep 2024

Compare the Life of a Covert Narcissist With the Life of Their Victim (Special Throwback Episode)

Are you trying to decide if all you are going through is "normal," or if it is fair and reasonable?
In the last two episodes, I have talked about the codependency traits that so many victims have in common and the eternal victim role that covert narcissists play. These two things get trapped together so incredibly often.
On one side, you have a person who does no self-reflection, no self-improvement, and no internal work. Instead they express out all the ways they have been hurt in life. The abuse they suffered as a child. The mistreatment from parents, siblings, friends. The abuse they suffered from previous relationships, leaving them “broken” and insecure. The ways that everything you say hurts them, reminds them of their past abuse, resurfaces their hurt self. The eternal victim!
On the other side, you have a person who desires to care for others. To build other people up. To help others become the best they can be. To “fix” them. To save them. Willing to do the extra work. Willing to give the benefit of the doubt. To carry extra blame so the other person doesn’t have to. To carry your own load and half of theirs too. To look at your own smallest faults and blame these over the massive faults the other person displays. To hold yourself accountable for everything, while letting them off the hook for anything.
This is NOT a good combination! Works out great for the covert narcissist, who does none of the work and does anything they want all the time. It is horrible for their partner, who does all the work and never does anything they themselves want.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? •Are you searching for people who get it? •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

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Avsnitt(483)

Covert Narcissism and Circular Conversations: Why You Always End Up Fighting Something You Never Said

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like yelling or control — sometimes it's a completely ordinary conversation that somehow ends with you defending yourself against something you never said. This i...

13 Sep 32min

Covert Narcissism and the Echo Complex: Losing Yourself in a Relationship, Part 1, with Amy Lewis Bear

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like screaming matches or dramatic blowups — sometimes it looks like a slow, quiet erosion of who you are. In this episode, Renee sits down with psychotherapist a...

10 Sep 30min

How to Spot Passive-Aggressive Behavior and What to Actually Do About It

Last week, we asked whether passive-aggressive behavior is always narcissistic. The answer was no — but that still left a big question: how do you actually tell the difference in real time, and what d...

6 Sep 35min

Guilt-Free Living: Reclaiming Joy After a Covert Narcissist

Did they make you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson reads through real responses from her Covert Narcissism Group — the private ...

3 Sep 28min

Passive-Aggressive Isn't Always Narcissistic — But It's Never Harmless

Ever asked someone "are you okay?" and gotten a four-syllable "I'm fine" that clearly meant the opposite? That's passive-aggressive behavior — and it's one of the sneakiest patterns to name out loud, ...

30 Aug 26min

Covert Narcissism The Types Keep Shifting (Same Episode, New Eyes)

What if the episode you already listened to still has more to teach you the second time around? In this throwback episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee revisits one of the most-requested epi...

27 Aug 28min

Covert Narcissism and Fight or Flight: 8 Tools for Lowering Your Baseline (Part 2)

Covert narcissism doesn't just create crisis moments — it leaves your nervous system stuck in a chronic state of hypervigilance long after the argument ends. You can get good at managing the spike, ca...

23 Aug 29min

Narcissist or Not? Decoding Red Flags in Dating Apps & Texts (with Dr. Jenny Young)

Ever ignored a gut feeling on a date because you wanted to "give him a chance"? In this episode, I'm sharing a conversation from Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse — host Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down...

20 Aug 37min