#509: Good Shame; Bad Shame

#509: Good Shame; Bad Shame

In the modern age, shame is often seen as an unmitigated bad. According to this popular view, all shame is negative and toxic and steps should be taken to avoid and rid oneself of it. My guest today, however, makes the contrarian case that some shame is actually necessary to develop a true sense of self.

His name is Joseph Burgo, he’s a clinical psychologist and the author of the book Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem. Today on the show Joseph and I discuss what exactly shame is, what it feels like, and the difference between toxic shame and productive shame. Joseph then walks us through the sources of shame and how childhood shame can mark us for life. We then discuss tactics we use to mask or avoid feelings of shame, how these masking behaviors can sometimes get in the way of us making progress in our lives, and more productive ways to engage with shame. Joseph then digs into the culture of online shaming and the dangers we face as a society when we shame men by pathologizing healthy masculine attributes like assertiveness, risk taking, and competitiveness.

Get the show notes at aom.is/shame.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Avsnitt(1160)

Hercules at the Crossroads — Choosing the Hard Path That Leads to a Good Life

Hercules at the Crossroads — Choosing the Hard Path That Leads to a Good Life

In a story from ancient Greek philosophy, Hercules faces a choice between two paths: one promising pleasure and ease; the other, hardship and struggle — but also growth and greatness. According to tod...

4 Nov 202558min

Make Friends With Death to Live a Better Life

Make Friends With Death to Live a Better Life

We live in a culture that does everything it can to keep death at a distance. We hide it behind hospital curtains, euphemize it in conversation, and hustle through grief like it's just another item on...

28 Okt 202553min

Chasing the White Whale — Into the Depths of Moby-Dick

Chasing the White Whale — Into the Depths of Moby-Dick

If you went to high school in America, you probably read Moby-Dick — or, more likely, you skimmed the CliffsNotes and wondered why this dense, whale-obsessed novel was considered a classic.That was me...

21 Okt 202550min

The 6 Practices of the Ultimate Morning Routine

The 6 Practices of the Ultimate Morning Routine

There's been a lot of talk about morning routines in the last few years. But the idea is hardly new; famous men from Thomas Aquinas to Benjamin Franklin structured their mornings to accomplish great d...

14 Okt 202548min

The Classical Code of Manhood

The Classical Code of Manhood

What does it mean to be a man? It’s a timeless question that's been answered in different ways across the ages. For the ancient Romans, the word for manliness was virtus — the root of our word virtue....

7 Okt 202559min

Why You Need the Good Stress of Socializing

Why You Need the Good Stress of Socializing

You may have heard of hormesis — the idea that intentionally embracing small stressors activates the body’s repair and defense systems, building resilience, improving how the body and even the microbi...

30 Sep 202552min

Build Muscle Without the B.S. — A Straightforward Guide to Size and Strength

Build Muscle Without the B.S. — A Straightforward Guide to Size and Strength

Whether you’ve never stepped foot in a weight room or you’ve been lifting for years without seeing significant results, figuring out how to get big, strong, and jacked can feel overwhelming. There are...

23 Sep 20251h 5min

The Preparation — An Adventure-Driven, Skill-Building Alternative to College for Young Men

The Preparation — An Adventure-Driven, Skill-Building Alternative to College for Young Men

For generations, the path to adulthood was straightforward: go to college, get a job, build a life. But many young men are beginning to question the college component of that path; tuition keeps risin...

16 Sep 202551min

Populärt inom Utbildning

historiepodden-se
rss-bara-en-till-om-missbruk-medberoende-2
alska-oss
det-skaver
harrisons-dramatiska-historia
nu-blir-det-historia
roda-vita-rosen
johannes-hansen-podcast
not-fanny-anymore
rss-foraldramotet-bring-lagercrantz
sektledare
rss-viktmedicinpodden
i-vantan-pa-katastrofen
allt-du-velat-veta
sa-in-i-sjalen
rss-om-vi-ska-vara-arliga
rss-sjalsligt-avkladd
rss-basta-livet
rss-npf-podden
rikatillsammans-om-privatekonomi-rikedom-i-livet