Live IFS17 Apr 2023

216: Theresa A. - first call

🔸 Yearning for romance vs Stop trying. Eyerolling wants patience. We glimpse multiple exiles?

*Theresa has ADHD, is into body-work and has listened to lots of LiveIFS

🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):

We had to stop listening to music, become an adult. No space or time for those emotions
Despair
Dramatic, hard to manage, enthusiasm is inconvenient
Inconvenient child = too much

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Reminiscent of my convo with Bill Tierney. Isn't this "falling in love" vs "playing it cool"? I think I was down 30% from parts identifying with Theresa so much.

"I just get like this" sentiment around emotionality is a new one to me. Tried to respect that while also staying curious, looking for parts driving that.

I'm not certain that the yearning is a protector and not an exile. Could be both/either? Also reminds me of conversations I had with Molly (in which I was also unsure). In her case we identified very young exiles, and while I believe "parts know what they need to heal" I have trouble accepting the idea that a 5yo needs a boyfriend.

I just need to stay curious. Worst case scenario I will never "figure out" how IFS works in external relationships. But I'm confident that helping the internal family is how we heal the "brokenness". -----

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