How Embracing My Traumatic Past Unlocked Overflowing Abundance | Lewis Howes

"Just because hate feels justified doesn't mean it's justifiable." - Sally Kohn Let's be honest: we've all done things we regret. They may have been when we were kids or adults. They may have affected just ourselves or many people around us. But it's likely we remember doing them because we regret them. This is something that's not easy to talk about. But there's something really valuable in recognizing the parts of ourselves that are capable of doing things we regret. I recently met a woman who gave a TED talk (and has now written a book) about this exact topic. Sally Kohn is a CNN commentator who has attracted huge amounts of haters during her career as a political speaker. As our society has gotten more divided, hate seems to be taking over a lot of actions and discussions. So Sally decided to do a deep dive study on why we hate and what the opposite of that is. She talked to her own haters, she traveled to countries that have experienced genocides, and she discussed the psychological pieces of what's going on. This was a powerful conversation about a topic that isn't always easy to discuss. I really appreciated Sally's willingness and honesty in discussing how we can each shift our habits out of hate and bias and into open-mindedness and respect. No matter what you've been through or what you believe, I know there's something valuable to learn for all of us in Episode 631. Some questions I ask: Do we believe our friend group or the media more? (9:50) How do we start thinking differently about people [versus relying on bias]? (13:10) Why did you start working for Fox News with your point of view? (19:30) How much bullying is happening today in schools? (30:22) How do we start to repair our habits around how we treat each other? (37:03) In this episode you will learn: What getting hate mail taught Sally about her own ability to be mean (3:05) The difference between our brain's hardware and its software (8:15) What happens when we wear "masks" to hide our true identity (18:50) Why it's important to talk to people who believe differently than you do (21:45) How mass atrocities can happen (and be avoided) (27:20) Why we don't usually see ourselves as the starters of hate (38:37) How to forgive and understand haters (40:15) Plus much more... Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

23 Apr 201854min

"I am not my past, I am not my future. This is the only place I am able to express my will.” Do you ever have those moments when you replay a certain event in your mind over and over? It becomes so real, it’s almost like you are there. You start thinking, “What could I have done differently? Does this make me a bad person? Could I have handled things better?” I know when this happens I start judging myself. I become my worst critic, obsessing over how I lost my temper here or the person I hurt there. Ultimately, these moments don’t define us. What does define us is right now. What we do at this moment is who we are, and as long as we learned from our mistakes we shouldn’t judge ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves and stop the emotional punishment. To go more into this I wanted to bring you a clip from Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. for this episode of 5 Minute Friday. Don Miguel is a master of transformation, and he shares so much wisdom about forgiveness and moving forward with life on Episode 630. In This Episode You Will Learn: Why people judge themselves so harshly (00:47) What it means to forgive yourself (1:23) How we reward and punish ourselves (1:40) The illusion of our expectations (2:38) How to forgive yourself (3:28) Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

20 Apr 20185min

“It’s not what happens to you that defines who you are, it’s ultimately your decisions.” - Elizabeth Smart There are a lot of heartbreaking things that happen in this world. I’m sure you have your own stories. Being a victim doesn’t end with the event. It continues on for a lifetime. In the end, you have no control over what happened to you. There’s no going back. What you do have control over is the decisions you make on the other side -- how you let these tragedies affect you. You need to not only stay strong but also learn to forgive. When I say this, I say it from personal experience. I have gone through abuse when I was younger, and I understand how it can disrupt you to your core. But forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened is ok. It doesn’t mean you let go of what happened and consider everything to be just fine. It doesn’t eliminate what happened. Forgiveness is about allowing yourself to move forward as a better person. It’s about growing, rather than letting these events disrupt your life anymore. It’s about becoming stronger and learning from the situation to help others. There is no one who knows this better than today’s guest on The School of Greatness: Elizabeth Smart. If you haven’t heard of Elizabeth Smart, she was kidnapped by complete strangers at the age of 14 and held captive for 9 months. She endured nearly every terrible thing you can imagine. Today, Elizabeth is a NYT best-selling author and has dedicated her life to bringing empowerment to survivors and awareness to these crimes. On this episode, we discuss the biggest lessons she’s learned about forgiveness, her definition of hope, the importance of owning your story, and the biggest lesson she learned from her captors. Discover all of that and much more, on Episode 629. What’s been the biggest lesson about forgiveness for you? (6:23) If you could go back to that day would you wish it didn’t happen, or do you feel like you’re better off because of what you learned? (10:42) What was the feeling when you saw your family for the first time? (12:32) Do you feel like you’re still healing today? (16:20) What if you feel there is no hope? (17:32) Does someone who commits these crimes have no hope for a meaningful life? (19:26) Is there anything that you’ve given up hope on? (25:03) Do you believe in people? (27:42) What’s the reason to keep going when things are dark? (29:18) If what we go through doesn’t define us, what does define us? (32:09) How long it took Elizabeth to forgive and move on (9:46) The biggest fear for Elizabeth during her abduction (12:00) What gave her hope while being held captive (14:13) Her definition of hope now (16:46) The difference between a collective community having hope and a single person having hope (24:38) How people can be more educated to not commit these crimes (25:52) What Elizabeth wishes more people would do about owning our own stories (28:12) The biggest lesson that she learned from her captors (29:35) Plus much more... Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

18 Apr 201840min

“MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE THINKING TOO MUCH AND FEELING ENOUGH.” There is a certain art that I feel had been lost over the years in this country, and you may have noticed it too. It’s the art of seduction. Let me make one thing clear, when I say seduction I don’t mean unwanted flirting. I don’t mean trying to manipulate someone. True seduction is a lore more than that. Seduction is about selflessly making other people feel good about themselves. Their bodies, their personalities, and everything about them. It’s also about being aware of your own body. Owning it, being proud of it, and listening to it. In America we spend so much time on our phones, we’ve lost that seduction between each other. This is a topic that my guest today, Chen Lizra, is an expert on. Chen Lizra had a wildly successful Ted Talk on the power of seduction. She’s also an award winning entrepreneur, best-selling author, and a professional dancer. She learned all about the power of seduction while living in Cuba, where she was deeply inspired by the culture of body confidence there. She was able to see how people were able to really connect with each other, lift each other up, and make a true connection with their bodies. As a result, she has developed a powerful method of teaching body-awareness called somatic intelligence. I was fascinated during this conversation as she explained (and demonstrated) these principles and how they impact our relationships, our opportunities, and our self-confidence. Learn all about the power of seduction in our everyday lives, on Episode 628. Some Questions I Ask: In your Ted Talk you mention children are taught in America to be more closed off, is that right? (5:20) What career were you in before this? (9:10) How long were you an animator for? (11:12) When did your vision come together? (21:51) How long were you in Cuba? (25:03) What happens when we rediscover our natural sensuality? (26:48) How do you use seduction without crossing people’s boundaries? (35:16) How do we know if we’ve disconnected from our body? (45:04) What’s the difference between sexuality and sensuality? (49:42) How do we cultivate charm? (51:44) How do we balance masculinity and femininity? (59:38) Are you in a relationship now? (1:06:24) In This Episode You Will Learn: The common misconception about seduction (7:35) What Chen decided to do after her awakening (10:24) How she learned about seduction in Cuba (18:12) What Cuba has in their culture that allowed her to free herself from trauma (22:41) When and why we started to lose the connection with our bodies (25:16) How having elegance calms nerves (30:12) How men can connect more without crossing boundaries (41:47) How we can learn to listen to our bodies (45:58) How a man be more sensual to attract a female partner (50:47) What Chen has to say to people that feel vulnerability and sensuality is weakness (56:18) How her arm injury was a result of not opening up emotionally (1:07:42) Plus much, much more Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

16 Apr 20181h 19min

LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERY DAY. Finding what makes you passionate is something a lot of people struggle with. We all want to find that thing in life that we are excited to do -- the drive that makes us want to wake up early because we can’t wait to get started. When you find the energy that your passion creates, it’s your duty to share it with everyone around you. That’s when you’ll make a real impact and people will remember you. Take care of them, and they’ll end up taking care of you one day. To go more in depth about the importance of living your passion, I wanted to bring back an episode with Steve Cook for this week’s 5 Minute Friday. Steve is one of the most recognizable faces in fitness today. He’s an IFBB Pro Men’s Physique Competitor, and spokesmodel for Optimum Nutrition and Bodybuilding. Learn how you can make an impact and inspire the world (and yourself) on Episode 627. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

13 Apr 20184min

“THIS IS THE MOST LEGALLY SIGNIFICANT THING YOU WILL DO, OTHER THAN DYING.” Marriage is something that is so important to people. In fact, you probably thought about what your wedding would be like as a child. When people go into a marriage they think so much about their venue, their cake, their guest list -- but they never really think about what they are signing up for. Marriage is, legally, one of the most important things you can do. You are signing away half of your life. And there’s nothing wrong with that - if it’s the right person. On this episode of The School of Greatness, I brought on someone who knows so much about people being with the wrong person and how to set yourself up for a great marriage: NYC divorce attorney James Sexton. James has intentionally focused his practice on divorce and family law since his graduation from Fordham Law School. In addition to his Juris Doctorate (Law Degree) he has a Master of Arts degree from New York University where he focused his graduate research on the areas of persuasive speech and propaganda studies. To top it all off, James is the author of the incredibly informative book on marriage, If You’re in My Office, You’re Already Too Late. On this episode he discusses how a lot of people rush into a serious relationship without ironing out all of the details. He shares the insights he’s learned from thousands upon thousands of failed marriages. And he shared why he still believes marriage is a good idea. Learn all of the inside secrets to creating a successful marriage, on Episode 626. Some Questions I Ask: Have there been any clients that were going to get a divorce then decided not to? (9:28) What is the technology of marriage? (10:35) What training would you want people to go through before getting married? (17:12) How long were you married for? (23:24) Do you feel like when marriage gets rough that they should throw in the towel or work through it? (27:36) What are the most important things to find out about your spouse before getting married? (32:08) When a couple is disconnected, what can they do to reconnect? (35:32) What are the top 3 reasons people get divorced? (38:56) What’s the best way to handle financial stress? (40:47) What is the real reason people cheat? (45:48) What does the government dictate in a marriage? (56:47) Would you ever get married again? (1:05:21) Is there a marriage you’ve seen that you admire a lot? (1:13:23) In This Episode You Will Learn: Why people tell more to their lawyers than their therapists (7:29) The real failure rate of marriages (13:16) What inspired James to write his book (20:45) When one client realized her marriage was over (30:02) The thing James loves about divorce law (34:36) The best thing people can do to solve their problems (38:15) The history of marriage (42:00) How to keep your sex life satisfying (49:54) The importance of a prenup (1:00:18) James’ marriage advice to his kids (1:11:06) Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

11 Apr 20181h 21min

THESE SUPERSTAR TWINS COULD NEVER HAVE IMAGINED THEIR LIFE TODAY. One of the things I love most about how the world is growing is how the boundary between genders has been crumbling down. It used to be that a woman’s place was only in the home. More and more that stereotype is being disproven. Women are entering more and more areas that wouldn’t have been imaginable when I was younger. When I was a kid, when you’d think wrestlers you’d think Hulk Hogan or Randy Savage. Now you think of people like today’s guests: Nikki and Brie Bella. These two sisters are a true inspiration to the next generation of women. They are the definition of girl power and show that anyone can achieve greatness in anything they want. If you haven’t heard of the Bella Twins, they are WWE Superstars, Reality TV stars, and fashion designers. I felt so fortunate to sit down with them and have them tell me everything they know about greatness, which is a lot. So much, in fact, that this interview went longer than most episodes. I couldn’t stop, and I know you’ll love every moment of this one. Nikki and Brie told me how they went from small town farm girls to superstars. They talk about the adversity they went through, struggling in a toxic home environment, and even Brie losing her high school sweetheart to a drunk driver. Discover all of that and much more, on Episode 625. Some Questions I Ask: How did you get to think bigger than the farm life? (16:06) When did you audition for Diva Search? (24:15) In four days you had a contract with WWE? (29:16) Why were you nervous to be on Total Divas? (36:15) How do you know when to say no to something? (45:48) What was the moment that you cried the most? (54:16) When did you start to go down your spiritual path? (1:00:19) Did you go on your spiritual journey at the same time? (1:04:26) What’s the biggest lesson you both learned from your mom? (1:11:34) Has there ever been a point where you guys disconnected? (1:23:20) What are you most proud of your sister for? (1:28:02) In This Episode You Will Learn: What they dreamed about growing up (10:17) Their first job at Hooters (22:00) Why you should go to a WWE show (30:52) How long training was (32:30) Their morning routines (38:35) What it was like leaning on the job (50:23) The biggest lesson their father taught them (56:17) What it was like for Brie to lose her high school sweetheart (1:03:02) Their childhood regrets (1:08:00) What it’s like being in a relationship with inspiring, powerful men (1:15:03) Advice to coming of age girls who are feeling overwhelmed by the world (1:24:36) The feedback they have for each other (1:34:52) Plus much, much more Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

9 Apr 20181h 45min

DON'T GIVE UP BEFORE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. Have you ever wondered how people can be so great in the moment? How they can go with the flow so perfectly and know exactly how to maneuver a situation in their favor? Maybe it’s the ability to land that dream client who seemed unattainable. Maybe it’s being able to nail that trick on a skateboard, just when it seems like things are about to go wrong. In any case, the secret to your success and ability to go with the flow stems from the same place: failure. We all fear failure, but in the end it’s what makes us stronger. It means we’ve been testing the space, and working towards our dreams. To go into this more I wanted to post a clip of a previous episode with Travis Pastrana. Travis is an amazing athlete of a different type. He’s won gold medals for motocross in the X-Games, and is a phenomenal BMX rider. He even runs his own action sports show: Nitro Circus. Learn how you can become a master of your own passions, on Episode 624. In This Episode You Will Learn: How bad experiences can help you (00:49) Ways the greats push everything forward (1:27) What Travis does to stay on top (2:13) How your passions will help you succeed (3:12) Why not giving up is so important (3:35) Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

6 Apr 20184min