Don't Mom Alone Podcast3 Aug 2020

Week Five Summer of Mentorship 2020 Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith

As moms, we know we need rest. We usually equate rest with sleep or rest with a vacation, but this week’s guest shares a much bigger picture of our need for rest in multiple areas of our lives.

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor, wife and mother to two boys. She had everything she’d dreamed of and worked hard to achieve, but wasn’t enjoying it.

“So I kept pushing and pushing myself till I got to the point where I literally just burned out. I wasn't happy with my job. I couldn't see how my marriage would survive. I didn't want my kids anymore. I was just at the end of myself. I didn't want the life I created.”

After reaching this breaking point, she went on a journey of restoration and healing where she learned to connect with God and with his plan for rest. Now she shares her research and methods with her patients and with all of us. If you’ve ever felt tired and at the end of yourself, this episode is for you.

“We already have permission to rest, but the mommy guilt that sometimes comes tells us we don’t. That is really a lie. I look at it as the John 10:10. The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And he's doing it to a lot of us through our inability to rest, our inability to trust God that when we lay things down that he is able to uphold them.”

What we chat about:

When Saundra reached her breaking point from stress and lack of true rest
We have physical limits to what we can do as moms
How Saundra researched rest and looked at scripture for clarity on how God rested
The seven types of rest are physical, to mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory and creative.
The difference between a vacation and resting
Paying attention to a place that feels painful in your body in the moment vs ignoring it
Finding emotional rest through connection with friends, even through video chat if getting together is impossible
The importance of authentic, open friendships with women who can relate to your life situation
Ideas on how to stay engaged with your husband and reignite your marriage
Putting limits on social media time so that your mind has down time
Tips for getting mental rest and release ideas that make your mind race
Sensory rest-- what it is and ways to get it
It is not selfish to prioritize resting. It keeps you from having a toxic reaction to those around you.

Links Mentioned:

Website: http://ichoosemybestlife.com/

Book: http://ichoosemybestlife.com/sacred-rest/

Quiz: http://restquiz.com/

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An Easier Way Bonni Greiner Ep 120

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

13 Maj 201637min

The Art of Nurturing Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 119]

I’m not a boy. Yet I’m raising four of them to be men. And as much as culture tries to tell us there aren’t differences between boys and girls. My every day experience begs to differ. I truly don’t understand the “why” behind most of my boys’ choices. And it never benefits me to ask. This week (for my own help and maybe yours too) I’ve invited David Thomas on the show. As a family therapist and director at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville, David has lots of experience counseling families and children. Having his own set of twin boys has provided a lot of education as well. The first book I ever read that gave me a glimpse into the mind of a boy is David’s book “Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys”**. Then I heard him speak at a DotMom event and I’ve always wanted to have him on the show. Our conversation did not disappoint. David’s genteel manner and calm approach gave me such peace. Afterwards I felt encouraged and equipped to not only “handle” my boys but enjoy their uniqueness. David answered a slew of questions I received on Facebook from listeners. But a theme emerged in each topic we covered: outlets and boundaries. David would point out a need boys have and how we as moms could provide a proper outlet for that need. But he also gave great instruction on how to train on boys in regulation, by setting boundaries on where and when those needs can be met. If you are a boymom, get ready to be set free from a lot of guilt over “why your boy does that”. And given some practical ideas to help create places and times in your family’s schedule to let “boys be boys” but not allow that phrase to be an excuse for unkind or inappropriate behavior. If you’re not a boymom, I hope this will still be an entertaining episode to help you understand your husband, nephews, friend’s son. And stay tuned because I’m working with David’s partner Sissy Goff to record a “Raising Girls” episode this fall. (Of course, feel free to share this episode with any boymom friends you have. . .they will thank you!). What we chat about: When and how to let boys rough-house/wrestle How “Stage One boys” (ages 1 to 4 years old) express love with aggression. Providing an outlet and training regulation and respect. How to help our boys who feels things deeply (the ones often labeled as ‘sensitive’). Giving boys ways to process emotions with space and physical outlets. Helping boys hear our directions and respond to us. Taking advantage of how boys are hardwired visually. How to handle when boys talking about private parts, farting, etc. 4 & 14 year old boys and their testosterone surges. Links Mentioned: Brooke McGlothlin (Thank you Brooke for connecting us!) Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys ** Mini Trampoline ** ($25 option) Trampoline with handle bar ** ($70 option) 5 Practical Actions to Help Boys Behave Birds and the Bees? Oh Help Me Please with Mary Flo Ridley (Ep 25) Raising Boys and Girls **Amazon affiliate link

9 Maj 201658min