#39 - Considering Divorce? Or Is There Still Hope?

#39 - Considering Divorce? Or Is There Still Hope?

Having ambivalence about your relationship sometimes is completely normal. You have a fight. Maybe a few fights. You go through a period where you both feel disconnected. Kids, jobs, cleaning bathrooms, the dandelions in the front lawn -- virtually everything seems like it's more of a priority than your marriage. All relationships have ebbs and flows. Disconnection and reconnection is simply the experience of being in a long term relationship. But sometimes ... it is hard to reconnect. Particularly if toxic negativity begins to color your interactions. When attachment stretches thin and you can't remember the last time you laughed together, it's normal to wonder if you ever will again. When negative experiences with your partner start to outnumber the good ones, it's normal to wonder if you've arrived at the "end of the line." Is Divorce the Solution? Not necessarily. Feeling upset and scared about your marriage are exactly the feelings that prompt couples to start marriage counseling. Being unhappy with the situation creates the motivation that you need to do the difficult work of growing back together again. And in my experience, when couples have a will to repair the relationship there is always a way. But sometimes, people begin to fantasize about divorce. They don't know how to resolve their relationship problems, and divorcing feels like the only solution. When divorce starts to feel like the glowing, open door to freedom and happiness -- your relationship is in trouble. And of course, I understand there are situations where you may not have a choice: Your partner unilaterally moves towards the door, or perhaps there are such unhealthy and toxic things going on in a marriage that divorcing is genuinely the only reasonable option. Let's Get Real. If you are toeing up to the edge of this precipice, or perhaps already starting to go through the searing process of taking a marriage apart: This podcast is for you. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Pro Divorce Mediator Denisa Tova about things to think about if you're on the fence about divorcing, and also practical strategies for creating the best possible outcomes if you decide to move forward with divorce. Main Points: 1) How to tell the difference between "solvable problems" between you and your partner, and situations where divorce is really the best choice. 2) The mindset you need to foster to create a healthy divorce experience. 3) Practical strategies for how to have a civilized, collaborative divorce instead of an ugly, angry one. Listen Now:

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#229 - How to Have An Amicable Divorce

#229 - How to Have An Amicable Divorce

Divorce is nobody's first choice. But sometimes relationships cannot be saved, and divorcing feels like the right thing to do. While divorce is always hard, having an amicable divorce is the best possible outcome — particularly if you're going to be coparenting or sharing a business for years to come. My guest on today's episode is divorce attorney Stephanie Randall. She shares her honest advice about what getting divorced is *really* like, the biggest mistakes divorcing couples make, insight into the divorce recovery process, and drops real-world strategies for how to create an amicable divorce. If you're considering divorce (or in the thick of one) today's episode is a must listen. Be prepared to take notes! (Or get a the show-notes with Stephanie's top takeaways here: https://www.growingself.com/amicable-divorce) xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Jan 202158min

#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

The past year has been a uniquely stressful time for couples, but it has also been offering a slew of "micro-moments" that can make or break a relationship. Smart couples are using these opportunities to grow stronger, closer and more connected. Other couples are missing them, and their relationships are failing as a result. Today I'm putting on my marriage counselor hat and sharing the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship (and what to avoid at all costs) so that you can grow together instead of grow apart. Learn how to use challenges to actually strengthen your relationship. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

11 Jan 20211h 18min

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

How about this idea for a #NewYearsGoal? Learn how to practice radical self acceptance, and love yourself, for who and what you already are. Learning how to be okay with not being okay, have compassion for yourself and others, and grow in your authenticity may sound like the antithesis of personal development, but the opposite is true:  The practice of radical acceptance can (paradoxically) lead to transformational change on every level.  Learn how to lean in, in this episode.  And happy new year! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

4 Jan 202149min

#226 - Learn and Grow

#226 - Learn and Grow

On the cusp of a new year it can be easy to over-focus on constant-and-never-ending self-improvement, new goals, the next step, and all the things you have yet to achieve. But the truth is that you have already grown so much, learned so much, and done so much. Sometimes it can be more empowering to slow down and respect the enormous amount of work you already have done rather than pushing yourself. Amazing things happen when you learn to appreciate the strength, accomplishments, courage, growth, and wisdom you already possess. I'm walking you through how to tap into all that you are, on this episode. You're already incredible! xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: I've created an activity for you to journal through the questions I'm asking on today's show if you'd like. Access it here: https://www.growingself.com/learn-and-grow

29 Dec 202036min

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

In this season of gift giving, it can be easy to forget what our loved ones really want and need from us: Our unconditional love, trust, kindness, appreciation, attention, time, understanding, empathy, respect, emotional safety, and cherishing. That's what we all want! However, we cannot provide those things for anyone without first prioritizing our own wellness and personal growth. Today's episode is all about helping you cultivate the highest and best in yourself so that you can better appreciate how much you matter, and fully embrace the amazing gift of your growth. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

21 Dec 202047min

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

If you're currently single you've probably experienced first hand the new online dating reality: Dating in the pandemic age is more complex than ever. However, there are fantastic opportunities to create healthy new relationships — if you know the pitfalls to avoid. On this episode of the podcast, get expert online dating coach advice from dating coach Markie K. She shares her top "dating advice do's and don'ts" to help you navigate the new modern dating landscape with clarity and confidence. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Get even MORE of Markie's great dating advice on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

14 Dec 202032min

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

Men crave emotional connection too. But our culture can lead boys and men towards toxic masculinity that impedes emotional intelligence, and damages emotional health (not to mention relationships!) My guest today is Andrew Reiner, frequent contributor to the New York Times and the author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency. He's generously sharing the strategies his research has uncovered for how to cultivate emotional health and connected relationships with men. If you are a man (or love one!) "What Men Secretly Want" is a must listen. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

7 Dec 20201h 3min

#222 - Discernment Counseling

#222 - Discernment Counseling

I've had many "my relationship is on the brink, what do I do?" questions from listeners lately. When one person is half out the door, standard-issue relationship advice and conventional marriage counseling approaches can make things worse. But Discernment Counseling — a special, obscure type of couples counseling — can still save your relationship. In today's episode we're doing a deep dive into the unique dynamics of failing relationships in order to help you use the principles of discernment counseling to potentially turn things around. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More relationship questions? Leave them for me (and help yourself to more free resources) on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

30 Nov 20201h

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