#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

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#392 — How to Forgive Your Partner

#392 — How to Forgive Your Partner

When you're hurt or angry with your partner, it's like the love in your heart is dimmed. You can't be open with your feelings when you're nursing emotional wounds. And it's hard to receive love until you're able to forgive your partner. But, emotional pain is always a component of long-term relationships. Part of giving your heart to someone is opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. This can happen in big ways — like infidelity, rejection, or abandonment. But it can also happen in small ways, like moments that left you feeling uncared for, unappreciated, or unloved. We all experience moments like these, and if we don't know how to process them, forgive, and move forward, they can damage the love we have for our partners.  So how can you forgive your partner? That's what we're talking about on today's episode of the podcast. You'll learn about how forgiveness works, what's holding you back from finding forgiveness, and how to not only "let it go," but how to use the repair process to build a deeper, more meaningful connection.  I hope you'll join me! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — If you are struggling to forgive your partner, that's a sign that you could really benefit from working with a good couples counselor. Schedule a free consultation with an expert on my team at Growing Self: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

11 Mars 202440min

#391 - How to Be 'Good with People'

#391 - How to Be 'Good with People'

Do you wish you were "good with people?" Many of us do! But we're not often taught the one skill that will not only help you connect with others, but also make you happier and more successful in every single area of your life: emotional intelligence, the key to love, happiness, and success.  Raising your emotional intelligence has all kinds of benefits, including increased:  Contentment Motivation Adaptibility Resilience Empathy for others Self-Awareness And, it will make every relationship in your life stronger. Truly, emotional intelligence is the secret sauce that makes you "good with people" — and so much more.  So, how can you increase your emotional intelligence? That's what we're talking about on today's episode! You'll learn all about emotional intelligence: what it is, how it helps you create the life you want, and the practical strategies that help you raise your emotional intelligence, no matter where you're starting from.  I hope you'll join me.  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — I have therapists on my team who specialize in emotional intelligence coaching specifically. Start with a free consultation today: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

4 Mars 202455min

#390 - Silencing Your Inner Critic

#390 - Silencing Your Inner Critic

Do you have a tough internal critic? When you are always talking to yourself in a negative, unkind way, it impacts how you feel about yourself, how you show up in your relationships with others, and how much resilience you have to achieve your goals.  Learning how to recognize your inner critic and talk back to it moves you forward. That's what we're talking about on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. You'll learn:  What the inner critic sounds like Where the inner critic comes from  How self-criticism impacts your confidence and self-esteem How to silence your inner critic How to develop an "inner champion" who encourages and supports you.  And more! I hope this episode helps you silence your inner critic and amplify your inner champion. Because you deserve a loving, supportive relationship with YOU! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — Ready to conquer negative self-talk once and for all? Let's talk: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

27 Feb 202431min

#389 - How to Stop Feeling Insecure

#389 - How to Stop Feeling Insecure

Are your insecurities holding you back?  We all have things that we feel insecure about, but many people feel trapped by shame and self doubt, or like they're never quite good enough. And this can create major problems. Unchecked insecurity can keep you from taking risks, achieving your potential, getting close to others, and enjoying your life.  A little insecurity can be healthy, leading to humility and an openness to the perspectives of others. True security doesn’t come from being perfect, it comes from accepting your imperfections and loving yourself regardless.  So how can you stop being insecure, and start building self-esteem and confidence? That's what we're talking about on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast.  I hope you'll join me! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — The best way to address insecurity is by working with a good therapist or coach. Schedule your free consultation at Growing Self today.

19 Feb 202428min

#388 - How to Stop Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship

#388 - How to Stop Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship

Do you feel like you're always walking on eggshells around your partner? When you feel like you have to be extremely careful about what you say, otherwise your partner will blow up, get defensive, or feel hurt, something has to change. So what's your path forward? That's what we're talking about on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast.  You'll learn:  What causes us to walk on eggshells in a relationship Why this dynamic is bad for you, your partner, and your connection How to communicate in a way that minimizes defensiveness When it's time to get help for your relationship.  I hope this episode helps you reflect on why you're feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, and some strategies for building a relationship where you can be open and authentic — because that is what you deserve.  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — This is a pattern that's best tackled with help from a relationship expert. Schedule your free consulation with a Growing Self couples counselor.

12 Feb 202438min

#387 - Navigating Your 20s with Jemma Sbeg

#387 - Navigating Your 20s with Jemma Sbeg

Ah, your 20s... a decade full of so much promise, potential, and radical growth. And yet, as a therapist and a life coach, I know that your 20s can also be uniquely difficult, especially when you expect that they're "supposed to be" the best years of your life!  Young adults have always been challenged to explore their identities, learn about the complexities of romantic relationships, and start establishing themselves professionally. But in 2024, they're also grappling with student debt, outrageous housing costs, the mental health minefield of social media, and the weirdness of online dating. It's a lot!  To help you unpack it all, I sat down with Jemma Sbeg, host of the fantastic podcast, "The Psychology of Your 20s." Jemma is offering up her perspective and tips for making the most of this weird and wonderful time of life. I hope you'll tune in, and that you'll find our conversation enlightening and helpful.  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — If you want a personal growth expert to walk alongside you, whether you're in your 20s or not, schedule a free consultation.

5 Feb 202454min

#386 - Are You Stuck in a Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic? How to Break Free

#386 - Are You Stuck in a Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic? How to Break Free

As a couples counselor, I can tell you that one of the most pernicious and common relationship patterns that couples get stuck in is the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic. This happens when one partner handles conflict by approaching it head-on, and the other has a tendency to pull away, shut down, or withdraw.  The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws, and the pattern can become very intense and even a little scary. The pursuer may start getting emotionally elevated, raising their voice, or even physically following their partner from room to room. The withdrawer, meanwhile, feels totally overwhelmed and unable to engage the more their partner pursues them. Nothing gets resolved, and typically, neither partner is fully aware of their own role in perpetuating the dynamic. Luckily, this is one of those problems that is totally solvable with the help of a good marriage counselor. When you understand why this relationship pattern happens, what your role is in the dynamic, and what you can do instead, everything can shift. On today's episode of the podcast, we're exploring how to break the pursuer-distancer pattern and create a healthier relationship where you can both feel heard, understood, and most of all, emotionally safe.  I hope you'll join me!  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — Listening to a podcast is a great starting point, but it's not enough to break a deeply entrenched pursuer-distancer pattern. If you would like to put a stop to this dynamic for good, schedule a free consultation with an expert couples counselor on my team.

30 Jan 202437min

#385 -Blindsided by a Breakup? How to Process and Heal

#385 -Blindsided by a Breakup? How to Process and Heal

Ever feel like your heart got drop-kicked out of nowhere? Like the rug was yanked from under you and now you’re spiraling, trying to make sense of what just happened? I see you. And if you've ever been blindsided by a breakup — truly blindsided — this episode is for you. In today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast, I’m pulling back the curtain on why blindsided breakups happen, why they hurt so much, and — most importantly — how to heal the heartbreak. I’ll walk you through the hard truths, the hidden opportunities, and the steps to rebuild your self-trust, so you can stop obsessing about your ex and start reconnecting with you. Timestamps: 00:00 – Blindside By A Breakup… Ouch. 05:06 – What REALLY Happens in a Blindside Breakup 09:31 – The Honest Truth About Why They Left 23:08 – From Pain to Power: What You Can Learn 24:47 – What Healing Actually Looks Like (and What Doesn’t) 46:09 – How to Heal From Heartbreak Being blindsided by a breakup can leave you spinning, questioning everything. It’s disorienting and destabilizing in a way few things are. But even though it might not feel like it right now, there is a path forward—and it begins with understanding where you are in your healing process. That’s exactly what my breakup quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? is designed to help you do. It’s a free, research-informed tool created to help you identify which stage of healing you’re currently in, and what next step will actually help you feel better. Take two minutes. Get your results. And see where your healing begins. 👉 How Over You’re Ex Are You? Take the Quiz Now And if you’re sitting with a thousand unanswered questions, or you just wish someone who really gets it could help you make sense of this mess… that support is available too.  You can schedule a free consultation with a breakup recovery expert on my team—someone who knows exactly how to walk with you through this kind of pain. We’re here to listen, understand, and help you figure out what healing can look like for you. 👉 Schedule a Free Consultation This heartbreak doesn’t have to define you, and you don’t have to figure it out alone. You deserve support. You deserve peace. Most of all—you deserve to heal. You can start right now.  Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who could benefit from this episode—maybe a friend or family member who was just blindsided by a breakup—pass this along to them. Knowing we’re supported can make all of the difference.

22 Jan 202453min

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