#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

Avsnitt(467)

#360 - How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

#360 - How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

You know that coworker who drives you nuts? Whether you’re dealing with a controlling coworker, a deadweight, or a bully, difficult people in the workplace can drag down your job satisfaction and performance.  So what can you do? This episode is all about how you can deal with the difficult coworker in your life and continue to succeed at work, no matter what.  I hope you’ll tune in! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

31 Juli 202359min

#359 - Why You Miss Your Ex (and What to Do About It)

#359 - Why You Miss Your Ex (and What to Do About It)

If you’re going through a breakup, you know that missing your Ex is one of the toughest parts of the heartbreak experience. Even if you know the relationship is ultimately not right for you, it’s normal to look back on the happy memories and feel sad that your Ex can no longer be in your life. You might even question whether breaking up was the right choice, or if you should reach out and try to be friends. This episode will help you understand why you miss your Ex, what it means, and how you can transform those difficult moments into something that moves you forward. I hope you’ll find it helpful and healing.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

24 Juli 20231h 3min

#358 - Communication Skills: Reacting Versus Responding

#358 - Communication Skills: Reacting Versus Responding

We've all been there: Your partner says something that just inflames you, and you say something you regret later. Or you instinctively defend yourself and withdraw when things get tense, rather than leaning into a healthy and productive courageous conversation. We all know that being able to react vs. respond is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and healthy relationships. But that can be easier said than done in the middle of a heated conflict.  When you’re frustrated, hurt, or stressed, you might raise your voice, say something you don’t mean, or make an impulsive decision with long-lasting consequences. All of this is bad news for you and for your relationships. But learning the art of being responsive versus reactive leads to deeper, healthier connections, and a life that’s directed by your true values.  That's what we're talking about on today's show. I hope you'll tune in! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

17 Juli 202354min

#357 - Are You In an Emotionally Enmeshed Relationship?

#357 - Are You In an Emotionally Enmeshed Relationship?

If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, or work WAY harder than you should to make sure they're comfy (often at the expense of your own needs), my friend, you may be in an emotionally enmeshed relationship.  In fact, over many years of experience as a couples counselor and relationship coach, I've often found that the true underlying issue behind many relationship conflicts is due to emotional enmeshment and it's sister, codependence. This creates resentment, reactivity, pursuit/withdrawal dynamics and more. Good relationships require individuation, and a healthy self awareness of personal responsibility and healthy boundaries. So how can you create a healthier connection? That’s what this episode is all about! I’m talking about what enmeshed relationships look like, why they’re problematic, and how you can bring your relationship back into balance if emotional enmeshment is creeping in.  I hope you’ll join me! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

10 Juli 202344min

#356 - Power Struggles In Relationships

#356 - Power Struggles In Relationships

Do you feel like you and your partner get stuck in a power struggle where you feel one way, they feel another, and you just cannot compromise?  Today's episode brings real-world relationship advice to help you communicate differently, so that you can break through the gridlock and get back on the same page. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

3 Juli 202345min

#355 - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

#355 - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

When someone we love, trust, and rely on betrays us, it creates a deep, painful wound that doesn’t always heal on its own. As a couples therapist who often works with people around heartbreak recovery after a bad breakup or divorce, and helping couples heal after infidelity, and even in my work as a dating coach, I know that betrayal trauma, or “relationship trauma,” is real, and it can linger on for months or even years without the right care, just like other kinds of trauma.  Even though relationship trauma is very common, it isn’t always recognized by our culture, or even by the people who are suffering from it. I hope this episode helps shift that for you. When you acknowledge the betrayal and how it impacted you, the door to healing and growth cracks open.  If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, I hope listening to this episode helps you gain newfound compassion for what you’ve been through, as well as guidance and direction for how to heal and move forward. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more help around repairing trust and healing after wounding relationship experiences, check out my Heartbreak Recovery and Affair Recovery”collections of articles and podcasts.

26 Juni 202358min

#354 - How to Make a Career Transition

#354 - How to Make a Career Transition

Making a career transition can be a daunting task, especially if you’ve spent years building your expertise in a particular field only to discover you don’t love your work.  How can you know what career would actually feel more satisfying? If you already know where you'd like to go, how can you begin getting there? If you are ready for a career change, this episode will give you some pointers on where to begin. It’s a conversation between myself and my colleague Susan H., M.A., LPCC, a career counselor, coach, and professional development expert on our team at Growing Self. Susan’s point of view on career change is refreshing and insightful — I hope you’ll tune in!  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on changing careers with confidence, check out my “Career Clarity” collection of articles and podcasts.

19 Juni 20231h 1min

#353 - 7 Things that Will Sabotage Couples Counseling

#353 - 7 Things that Will Sabotage Couples Counseling

Getting into couples counseling is a fantastic idea... but you have to know how to engage with the process in order to have a good experience. Unfortunately, it's very easy to make one or more of the super common mistakes that can sabotage couples counseling.  I hope this episode helps you avoid that outcome, and get the help for your relationship you need and deserve. My guest is Jenna P., a marriage counselor and relationship coach on our team at Growing Self. She’s sharing her perspective on the seven things that can sabotage couples counseling, and how to have an experience in counseling that truly benefits you and your relationship.  I hope you’ll join us.  Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on improving your relationship, check out our “Relationship Repair” collection of articles and podcasts.

12 Juni 20231h 5min

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