#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby13 Jan 2016

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

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#295 - Building Confidence in Dating

#295 - Building Confidence in Dating

Confidence is sexy. But when you're dating —and dealing with the rejection modern dating involves — it takes a toll on your confidence. Oh the irony. Fortunately, building confidence in dating is possible, if you know how. On this episode, we’re discussing how to build your self-confidence, bounce back from rejection, and continue to put yourself out there until you find the love you want and deserve. All for you,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

2 Maj 202252min

#294 - Change Your Story, Change Your Life

#294 - Change Your Story, Change Your Life

We all use stories to make sense of the world and our place in it. But what happens when the stories we tell ourselves hold us back, make us feel bad about ourselves, or force us into boxes that don’t fit who we truly are?  When you change your story, you change your life. In this episode, you'll learn how to tap into your unconscious narratives, challenge them, and then rewrite your story to create the life you want. Here's to your empowerment! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

25 Apr 20221h 1min

#293 - Signs of a Healthy Relationship

#293 - Signs of a Healthy Relationship

A happy, loving, healthy relationship is the most valuable thing you can have. But so many people struggle in this area, and without understanding the signs of a healthy relationship, it’s hard to know how to begin making it better. This podcast will teach you all about the fundamentals of healthy relationships. FYI, this comes in two parts: First, listen to the podcast. Then, take the "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz, to discover the strengths and growth opportunities in yours. All the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

18 Apr 20221h 6min

#292 - Dealing with Commitment Issues

#292 - Dealing with Commitment Issues

Commitment: I know the word alone is enough to send a shiver up the spine of many a listener. And for the partners of the commitment-adverse, it’s not any easier. If commitment issues are present in your relationship, it’s likely to become a sore subject. You’re probably feeling a bit rejected, and you may be wondering if there’s any way forward. On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re going to be exploring the path of dealing with commitment issues, so you can get unstuck! xoxo, Dr. Lisa GrowingSelf.com

11 Apr 202248min

#291 - How to Stop Procrastinating Right Now

#291 - How to Stop Procrastinating Right Now

We all know that procrastination is a recipe for disaster leading to stress, rushing around, and disappointing people (including yourself.) Yet the little voice that says “let’s do it later” can be hard to resist.    On today’s show I’m sharing new ideas and a fresh perspective that will help you use your natural strengths to focus on (and do!) the most important things… and stop beating yourself up about the rest.    Stop procrastinating! Listen now! ;)  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

4 Apr 202242min

#290 - How to Stop Dating Jerks

#290 - How to Stop Dating Jerks

If you find yourself with partners who mistreat you again and again, it’s time to explore that pattern, so you can find a healthy relationship. On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re talking about why you keep dating jerks, and the steps you can take to break free from bad relationships and find real, healthy love. You deserve it! xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

28 Mars 20221h 13min

#289 - What Happy Couples Know — with Director Roger Nygard

#289 - What Happy Couples Know — with Director Roger Nygard

Wonderful, healthy and fun relationships can seem magical. But the truth is that awesome relationships don't happen "magically." Not at all. Long-term couples who love their relationships are simply reaping the rewards of the intentional effort they've put in to their partnerships. Sounds easy, right? In theory, it is. But here's the issue: No one teaches you how to have a fantastic relationship. So even though many people would love to have a stronger, more satisfying connection with their partner and would be very happy to do the working of making their good relationship great... they literally do not know what, exactly, to do differently. The intention is there, but the knowledge is not. To fill this knowledge gap, award-winning documentary film director Roger Nygard spent over seven years sitting down with the thought leaders in the fields of marriage counseling and couples therapy to get ALL THE ANSWERS.  The result is his film, The Truth About Marriage. And he's here on the podcast with me today to share all his insights and discoveries with YOU. For love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

22 Mars 20221h 7min

#288 - Navigating a Quarter-Life Crisis

#288 - Navigating a Quarter-Life Crisis

Recognizing that the life you’ve created is not the one you actually want is an uncomfortable experience. But, believe it or not — it’s good. Why? It allows you to reflect, and recalibrate. Whether you're in your 20s or your 30s having a “quarter-life crisis” is your chance to reconnect with who you are now, reimagine your future, and pivot in the direction of the life you want. On this episode of the podcast, we’re talking about how you can use a quarter-life crisis as a launchpad for a new chapter of growth and success. Here's to you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

14 Mars 202248min

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