#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby13 Jan 2016

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

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#255 - Signs You Have a Bad Therapist

#255 - Signs You Have a Bad Therapist

Who you work with really matters when it comes to outcomes in therapy. How do you tell a good therapist from a bad one? What are the subtle signs that your therapist might be nice, but ineffective or even unqualified? What are the red flags that your therapist is behaving unethically? Spilling *all* the beans on this episode, so you can make informed and empowered choices. Warmly, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

19 Juli 20211h 10min

#253 - How to Love Yourself After a Breakup: Repair Your Self-Esteem

#253 - How to Love Yourself After a Breakup: Repair Your Self-Esteem

Ever feel like your breakup didn’t just end a relationship — it wrecked your self-worth too? If you've been left feeling like a shell of yourself after love falls apart, this episode is for you. I’m Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and today on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’m diving deep into one of the most painful and overlooked parts of breakup recovery: low self esteem after a breakup. I’m sharing the real-deal truth about what happens to your brain, your emotions, and your sense of identity when someone you loved — and maybe bent over backwards for — couldn't (or wouldn’t) love you back. Through stories, science, and a whole lot of heart, I’ll walk you through the five essential steps to take your power back, stop the self-betrayal spiral, and start rebuilding the self-respect you absolutely deserve. And yes, I answer a powerful listener question that might just be the one you’ve been too afraid to ask out loud. Listen and learn how to stop tying your worth to someone who walked away — and start writing a better story for yourself. Timestamps: 00:00 - The Real Reason You Feel So Broken After a Breakup 06:43 - How I became and Accidental Breakup Expert 10:20 - Why It Feels So Hard to Let Go 32:29 - 5 Steps to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup 52:10 - "I Can't Stop Checking My Ex's Instagram" 1:02:00 - The One Thing That Will Truly Heal You Struggling with self-love and low self-esteem after a breakup is incredibly painful—but it’s not the end of your story. It’s actually just one piece of a much bigger healing journey. If you’re wondering where to begin, or whether you’re truly making progress, I have a free resource that can help. 👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You?This quick, insightful quiz will show you what stage of healing you’re in right now—and, more importantly, what your next step needs to be. Whether you're still caught in the swirl of emotions or starting to feel ready for what’s next, this quiz offers compassionate clarity and personalized guidance to help you move forward. No judgment. Just support. And if you’re ready to talk with someone who truly understands what you’re going through… 👉 Schedule a Free Consultation with a Growing Self Breakup Recovery Expert Our team of warm, experienced therapists and coaches specialize in helping people navigate the aftermath of heartbreak and rediscover their sense of self. In your free consultation, you can share what you’ve been going through, ask questions, and explore how we might support your healing process—whether you’re struggling with obsessive thoughts about your ex, self-doubt, guilt, or just want to stop feeling stuck. You're not alone in this, and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself. Because healing is possible. Confidence is reclaimable. And love—real, healthy love—including love for yourself—is absolutely within reach. And you can start today. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who’s struggling with low self-esteem after a breakup? Be a friend — share this episode with them. You never know how much they need to hear it.

5 Juli 202158min

#252 - Letting Go of Anger

#252 - Letting Go of Anger

Release Anger + Reclaim Yourself There are many different types of anger that often impact our life coaching, therapy, and couples counseling clients here at Growing Self. All are different in some way, and similar in others. All are important, and deserve attention. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be sharing my best advice for how to let go of anger. We'll be discussing: Different types of anger How holding on to anger harms you, ultimately Strategies to work through anger, productively Ways to maintain a more positive emotional equilibrium How to find forgiveness (and still have boundaries) I hope this podcast helps you on your path of growth and healing. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

28 Juni 202154min

#251 - How to Feel More Secure In Your Relationship

#251 - How to Feel More Secure In Your Relationship

OVERCOMING INSECURITY | Even people in long-term relationships can struggle with feelings of insecurity. While very common, being insecure in a relationship can create problems — for both of you.  Can you relate? Join me and my colleague Georgi, a marriage counselor and family therapist who specializes in attachment theory and emotionally focused couples therapy. We're going deep into the topic of insecurity in relationships, and how to overcome it. Listen and learn more about: The root causes of insecurity The surprising ways insecurity can impact a relationship Practical strategies to help someone else feel more secure Actionable advice to help yourself feel less insecure How trust and security is healed and strengthened Concrete tools couples can use to banish insecurity from their relationship We hope that this discussion helps you both overcome insecurity, and create the strong, happy relationship you deserve. With love and respect,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com Ps: Questions? Comments? Follow up questions regarding this topic? Join the conversation on the blog: https://www.growingself.com/stop-feeling-insecure

21 Juni 202150min

#250 - What to Do When You Hate Your Job

#250 - What to Do When You Hate Your Job

Life is too short to waste toiling away in a career you hate. On this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with my colleague Dr. Kristi, an amazing online career coach on the Growing Self team who has lots of great ideas to help you get clarity about whether your current career situation can be improved, or whether it's time to call it quits and start plotting your career path pivot. What to do when you hate your job? We have answers — join us! Dr. Lisa GrowingSelf.com www.GrowingSelf.com

14 Juni 202136min

#249 - 12 Effective Ways to Destroy a Great Relationship

#249 - 12 Effective Ways to Destroy a Great Relationship

Are you unknowingly making one of the 12 biggest relationship mistakes? Avoiding "relationship killing behaviors" is just as important as doing the good stuff on purpose! So today... I'm mixing it up. I decided to put together a very straightforward, extremely honest list of what NOT to do if you want to have a great relationship.  All for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com P.S. If you're worried that some of these things are happening in your relationship, take my free "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz to start a productive conversation about positive changes you can both make. — LMB

7 Juni 20211h 1min

#248 - How to Forgive Yourself

#248 - How to Forgive Yourself

Are you still beating yourself up for things you regret, or mistakes you made long ago? Good, caring people are always the hardest on themselves — but it takes a toll. On today's episode we're talking about how to forgive yourself through mindful self compassion, so that you can turn "regrets" into new opportunities for growth.   I hope these ideas help support you on your journey of growth and healing. Your fellow traveler, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

31 Maj 202149min

#247 - Post Traumatic Growth

#247 - Post Traumatic Growth

After you've lived something really painful, there will always be a need for healing in the aftermath. Therapy can really help you put yourself back together again. But it's also true that most people don't just go back to baseline. Many people actually find that, when their healing process is complete, the difficult time they weathered ultimately transformed them in really positive ways. Learn about "post traumatic growth" on this episode of the podcast.  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

24 Maj 20211h 6min

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