#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

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#170 - Unlocking The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

#170 - Unlocking The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

Without understanding your subconscious self, it's very difficult to create real and lasting change in your life and in your relationships. You can try to make changes, but if your subconscious mind has other motivations.... it's going to win every time. Today, we're discussing:   Why high level "solutions" will not be effective unless you understand your subconscious self Why your subconscious brain can sabotage you   How to get insight into your subconscious mind   How to use self-awareness to gain control over your subconscious   Ways of strengthening your intuition, creativity and inner wisdom All that, and more, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

28 Okt 20191h 1min

#169 - Becoming Emotionally Healthy

#169 - Becoming Emotionally Healthy

BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY: Feelings. They happen to everyone, all the time. And yet, we don't always acknowledge them or talk about our feelings, much less take guidance from our emotions. Particularly in our culture, individuals and couples on a quest of "Happiness" can come to believe that being happy means being relatively free of dark emotions, like anger, sadness or fear. In fact, the opposite is true: Research shows that the happiest, most emotionally healthy people are actually the ones who are most comfortable with the full range of their emotions. Emotionally healthy people tend to be both self-accepting and self-aware: They know how they feel, and they have a great deal of tolerance and self-compassion when they're not feeling so great emotionally. They don't try to avoid bad feelings, and they also know how to (gently, appropriately) support themselves through challenging times.  Emotional Health: Finding a Balance Emotionally healthy people tend to be attuned to their emotions (and those of others). They know how to "lean in" to hard feelings with acceptance and without judgment. However, even though they're fully connected with their feelings they may not always react or take action from their emotions. A core component of authentic emotional health is knowing which feelings to listen to and which feelings to leave alone. It can be hard to develop emotional health and learn how to stay in balance between taking wisdom from your emotions, but not always "obeying them. Learning how to tell the difference between helpful and unhelpful feelings, helps you develop self-compassion, self-understanding, and self-control.  Becoming Emotionally Healthy is a Personal Growth Process A key aspect of holistic personal growth is learning how to have an authentic, self-aware, and sensitive relationship with your own emotions. This kind of powerful personal growth work often addresses:  The life experiences that shaped your emotional reality and core beliefs Acknowledging any unfinished business with the past Identifying and understanding your unique emotional triggers Figuring out which feelings are guiding you helpfully Using your emotions to connect with your hopes, dreams and values Pinpointing the emotions that are getting in your way Developing self-compassionand acceptance of feelings without judgment Learning how to cope with big, dark emotions in a healthy way Learning how to stay in balance emotionally, no matter what's going on It's a lot! While this type of personal growth work often takes months (if not years) of focused attention in therapy or life coaching,it's so worth it. Becoming emotionally healthy is a foundational life skill for anyone on the path of self-actualization.  The Benefits of Cultivating Emotional Health Learning how to manage your emotions skillfully allows you to have better relationships with others, feel happier, improve your self-esteem, and also create a meaningful, values-based life for yourself. It's worth talking about, and that's where we're going together today on The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. In addition to talking through all of the above, I'm answering some specific listener questions like: "How do I get my emotions under control and stop being so reactive?" "How do I stop allowing my anxiety to get in the way of my relationships?" "How do I feel less numb and 'blah' and more engaged with my life?"” All for YOU, on this episode of the podcast.  See you there! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Resources I mentioned on today's show include the "Happy Heart" unit of my online Happiness Class, as well as a self-soothing breathing technique I shared on IGTV.   PPS: Once again, I recorded this episode LIVE on Instagram so that I could answer some real-time listener questions. If you'd like to join next time, follow me @drlisamariebobbyand you'll see me LIVE in your stories (almost) every Monday at 12pm MT. Hope to see you there! LMB

21 Okt 20191h 7min

#168 - Your (Complex!) Dating Questions, Answered.

#168 - Your (Complex!) Dating Questions, Answered.

Modern dating is complex and challenging. I've had so many listener questions about dating coming in lately, that I just had to address them on a podcast! In particular, we're diving deep and talking through some of the more complicated aspects of "dating life" that many people struggle with, like: What to do when you're terribly sad about being single? How do you know if you're ready to date after a bad breakup or divorce? If you're a single parent, when should you tell the kids about your new relationship? How do you trust a new person if you've been betrayed in the past? All that, and more, on this episode... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com   PS: Do YOU have questions? Ask away!

14 Okt 20191h 8min

#167 - How To Get Your S**t Together When You Feel Overwhelmed

#167 - How To Get Your S**t Together When You Feel Overwhelmed

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your life? Like you have so much to do and you're always busy, but also like you're not actually getting things done? Or, worse, are you SO busy that things are actually starting to fall through the cracks? Eek! This is incredibly stressful, and yet so many people are struggling with it: Especially conscientious, hardworking and responsible types. If this is a "pain point" for you, too, I hope you join me on this episode, to learn about: What types of core belief and approaches to life lead to feelings of overwhelm How perfectionism and over achievement is correlated with being LESS successful How stress leads to anxiety (and too much anxiety leads to paralysis) The type of mindset that helps you do more (and feel happier at the same time) How to recognize when you're spiraling into burnout and how to stop it How to do a "hard reset" on overwhelm and start getting things done How to get reconnected to your true values, goals and priorities What to focus on first if you're spiraling Strategies to help you identify and focus on what is truly important (and say buh-bye to the rest) Surprising tips and tricks to relax your body and mind, and enter a state of focused productivity All for YOU, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

8 Okt 20191h 11min

#166 - Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

#166 - Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: How well do you understand other people? How well do you understand yourself? Do you know how to handle emotionally sensitive moments?    Because emotional intelligence skills really are so important, I decided to devote an entire episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to helping you understand emotional intelligence and how to improve emotional intelligence.  Listen, and learn: Signs of low emotional intelligence Consequences of low emotional intelligence Why some people have higher emotional intelligence than others Emotional intelligence and empathy Why self-awareness is the key first step to developing emotional intelligence How to improve emotional intelligence How to tell if you're emotionally intelligent or not Different emotional intelligence quizzes and assessment strategies Specific exercises to improve emotional intelligence.   All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: Get access to the resources we discussed in this episode on the post for this episode here.

23 Sep 20191h 4min

#165 - Living in a Beautiful State

#165 - Living in a Beautiful State

Do you ruminate? Think about things that happened in the past? Worry about what could happen in the future? Feel irritated with other people? Or struggle with the anxiety of comparing yourself with others?    There is an alternative to being at the mercy of your mercurial mind. Learning how to mindfully and with intention get in control of your inner experience can help you break free from anxiety and worry, rise above stress, attain profound levels of empathy and connection with others, and feel happier and more joyful in the process. But how? How do we rise above the churning of our minds and our egos, to enter into a state of compassion and connection? Well, my guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is Preethaji, a philosopher, mystic, the author of The Four Sacred Secrets and the co-founder of the international school of self-development, the O & O Academy based in India. Listen to this episode as Preethaji and I discuss: How to liberate yourself from a state of suffering How to find clarity and purpose within How to intentionally shift into a state of love, peace and calm How to feel more connected to others, to the universe, and to yourself How to transform your most important relationships through love and compassion We're digging deep, discussing how to mindfully heal old wounds, release self-limiting old beliefs, and taking responsibility for the way you show up in the world. I posed a couple of YOUR questions to her too, and her perspective was refreshing. I really enjoyed speaking with Preethaji, and I hope you get as much out of listening to this episode as I did in making it for you. Your fellow traveler, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

3 Sep 20191h 2min

#164 - Free Relationship Advice

#164 - Free Relationship Advice

YOUR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS, ANSWERED | Lately, I've had quite a few listeners and readers get in touch with their relationship questions. I thought I'd devote an entire episode of the podcast to answering them! Specifically, I'm offering free relationship advice around these common questions on today's episode: What to do when you're feeling bored in your relationship, and are concerned because you're married but have a crush on someone else. What to do when you and your partner have different love languages Whether to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't listen to you How to get your partner to take more initiative for household tasks What to do when your partner has a substance abuse problem but won't get help What to do when your boyfriend keeps putting off getting engaged How to handle it when your partner is acting like a child in the relationship Your burning relationship questions answered, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: One of the resources I mentioned to a listener's question was our "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz. Click the link if you'd like to take it too. PSS: Do YOU have a question? You're welcome to ask it here on the comments section for this post: https://www.growingself.com/free-relationship-advice-from-a-marriage-counselor, or via my Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/drlisamariebobby I just might answer it on an upcoming episode! :)

26 Aug 20191h 12min

#163 - How to Declutter Your Life

#163 - How to Declutter Your Life

THE POWER OF DECLUTTERING: Do you ever feel oppressed by all the stuff you're hanging on to? Is it hard to get organized, and stay organized? Do you feel like your life is crammed full of obligations, relationships, things — even a career — that no longer fits the person you've grown into? Intentionally getting clear about who you are NOW, and where you want to go with your life can help you cut through all the clutter and develop an environment and a lifestyle that feels satisfying and congruent with the best parts ofyou.   True, meaningful decluttering goes much deeper than just cleaning out a closet. Decluttering and maintaining a values-based, intentional lifestyle is an exercise in personal clarity and evolution. To help YOU along your journey of renewal and growth I've invited decluttering expert Olivia Heine to join me on the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. If you're looking for some decluttering inspiration, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. We're discussing: How decluttering your life can lead to emotional growth and healing How to get clarity about your self and your life goals, so that you know what to keep and what to let go of How to use the process of decluttering as a vehicle that can actually help you process unfinished emotional business from the past Why releasing physical possessions is often the first step in making positive changes in other parts of your life How to deal with tricky emotions (like guilt) that make it hard to let go of things How to declutter your life, your relationships, your career, and your time How the practice of decluttering helps you feel more confident and empowered How holding space in your life for the things that ARE important to you helps you create the life you want How to maintain an organized, intentional lifestyle long-term And more! So much good stuff to share with you. Olivia and I hope this discussion helps YOU get clear about who you are, what you want.... and what it's time to release! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com Ps: Questions? Comments? Join the conversation! www.growingself.com/the-power-of-decluttering

19 Aug 20191h 1min

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