#86 - Lonely Marriage? 10 Tips to Reconnect.

Break up or stay together? Who hasn't wondered the same, during a seriously difficult time in their relationship? Or, entertained an even bigger question: Should you try to save a relationship? How hard should you work? Especially a relationship that has been feeling really hard and unsatisfying for a long time? How do you know when it's time to call it quits?   Because deciding whether to break up or stay together is such a hard decision, we have many questions come through from clients, listeners of our podcast, and readers of our blog wanting help in deciding if their relationship can be saved, or if it's time to throw in the towel. They want to know things like: "How long should it take to see improvement in my relationship?" "In my heart, I don't want to be married to this person anymore. Will it ever come back?" "Is what I'm seeing solvable, or is this a sign we should break up?" "Once a cheater, always a cheater? Or can you have a good relationship after infidelity?" "I'm not being treated well by my boyfriend. Can this change?" "How do I know if I've tried hard enough to save my relationship?" If you've been going through a hard time in your relationship that has led you to have doubts, I hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast can help shed some light on signs that it's time to break up, or whether your relationship can be saved. Sincerely, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. We discussed a number of resources on this show. Here's where to find the links to all of them: https://bit.ly/2Pga85B

27 Aug 20181h 26min

How to Create The Career and Life You Want The fall season is nearly upon us, and with it comes fresh, transformational energy. If you're like many people showing up at Growing Self for life coaching, career coaching or therapy right now, it's because this is the time of year to let go of the old, get re-aquainted with yourself, and design new goals for the next chapter of your life. To support you in your quest for personal evolution, life coach and career coach will be sharing her advice for how to move forward fearlessly in your career, your life and your relationships. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we're talking about: How to organize your life around what brings you the most energy and fulfillment Identifying the self limiting beliefs that may be holding you back Avoiding the common, self-sabotaging traps of perfectionism and negative self-talk Resources to help you to get clear about your values and your goals Key skills to making good decisions about where to go next with your life How to transform your personal and professional relationships Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

13 Aug 20181h 5min

Miscarriage or infertility can be very hard to talk about, and the lack of support for women and couples going through it can make it even harder to know where to go for help. For this reason, I've invited Growing Self marriage counselor, therapist, women's health and fertility expert Sonya J to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. We're talking about: What women who are grieving after pregnancy loss need from their partners, family and friends. How the healthcare system fails to support the emotional needs of women and couples going through the experience of miscarriage or infertility. How couples are impacted by infertility and pregnancy loss, and how they can support each other through it. How couples can protect their sexual relationship as they are dealing with infertility. The difference between simple and complex grief, and how to heal emotionally after a loss. If you've been dealing with this extremely difficult life experience, we hope that you join us and listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Sincerely, Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC www.growingself.com

30 Juli 201848min

Any good marriage counselor or couples therapist will tell you that sex isn't the ONLY thing in a great relationship. Friendship, teamwork, communication, emotional safety, respect, and appreciation are all fundamentally important too. And yet, even when all those strengths are present, if you're not connecting sexually over a long period of time... eventually lack of physical intimacy can erode even the best relationship. To help us understand the most common sexual problems that couples encounter, and how to resolve them, I've invited expert sex therapist Dori Bagi to speak with us on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. We'll be discussing: Why couples often have differences in sexual desire (meaning one person wants to have sex more than the other) and what you can do about it. The role that pornography can play in a relationship —  both positive, and negative. Why body image and self-esteem issues are so often at the root of sexual problems, and how you can work together as a couple to resolve them. Differences in the sexual response cycle between men and women, and how understanding arousal can help you both develop a stronger sexual connection. How to talk about your sexual relationship in a healthy and constructive way. Hope this conversation helps you find your way back together again... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

16 Juli 201852min

Anger Management Help "Anger issues" are a common problem for many people, and in many relationships. So today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I've enlisted the support of my colleague Dr. Georgiana, to share her expertise about anger. Dr. Georgiana is, among other things, an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Life Coach too. She specializes in helping angry people learn how to get to a better place, helps couples communicate and reduce the anger and frustration in their relationships, and I'm so pleased to have her share her "anger advice" with you today too. We'll be talking about: What anger really is The different ways that "anger issues" can show up "Anger Styles:" The differences in the ways that people perceive and express anger Anger management strategies, and anger management techniques How to control anger in relationships How to manage your anger personally and in different situations How to deal with anger in other people I hope that listening to this podcast helps you learn how to manage anger, and find inner peace — both for yourself, and in your relationship. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Juni 20181h 2min

Everyone has the right to growth, and to feel safe, comfortable, welcome, and understood in what should be the most healing environment of all: Therapy, life coaching or marriage counseling. However, for African Americans, people of color, and other minority groups in the U.S., that has not always been the case. Particularly for black people, getting involved in meaningful growth work can be fraught with obstacles. The time to change that is now. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I've invited my colleagues Anastacia Sams, Teresa Thomas, and Zachary Gaiter to talk about their perspective as black therapists and black marriage counselors. We're discussing: The historical influences that have created feelings of stigma or unease for black people to get involved in therapy. How the idea of using personal growth for self improvement has not been part of black culture... And why that needs to change. How the legacy of racism has led to a culture of concealment about vulnerable topics among African Americans, and how this impacts both individuals and couples. "Black Love," the "Superwoman Syndrome," and the impact of prejudice on self-esteem, intimacy, personal responsibility, and empowerment. How affirming and healing it can be for black people to connect with a supportive black therapist, black life coach, or black marriage counselor who really understands them, where they come from, and how to help them grow. We hope you join us today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Zachary Gaiter, M.A., LPCC, Teresa Thomas, M.A., Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT www.growingself.com

4 Juni 20181h 4min

Have you been considering a career change? Sometimes, the first, hardest step is getting clear about what it is that you want to do. But even with that clarity, there can be other obstacles that need to be worked through before you can find a career that you love. Questions like: Should I go back to school? How will changing careers impact my family? What career is congruent with who I really am? What am I really good at? (And can I get paid for that?) Should I take a leap, or should I make an incremental change? Should I just focus on improving the career I'm currently in? How — Or If — To Change Careers Today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I have the great pleasure of speaking with a master career coach, an executive coach, and a life coach. She's sharing her wisdom and experience to help you figure out if it's time to make a career change, and if so, find your ideal career and transition into a job you love. Today, we're talking about: How to figure out if you're having "escape fantasies" and if so, how to avoid making mistakes in your career. The myth of the perfect career, vs what a realistic "career experience" should be. Escape fantasies vs making slight shifts Differences around career changes between men and women The utility of taking a career assessment test, or career placement test How to use your dark emotions to illuminate your career truth How to manage career challenges unique to different stages of life No matter if you're a recent graduate looking to get clarity about what you want to do with your life, if you're in an established career that you're feeling dissatisfied and discouraged with, or if you're getting back into the workforce after taking a break, you'll definitely want to hear this great career advice. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

21 Maj 20181h 15min

Do you know what's standing between you and the life you want? Really? As a life coach and therapist I regularly meet with clients who show up for counseling or coaching, certain that they know what their problem is, and what needs to be done to fix it. Aaannnddd.... the next phase of the work in counseling or coaching is often helping people go further, and dig deeper to understand what the true source of "the problem" really is. (Hint: It is almost never what you think it is). Once that is revealed, we can then move to creating action-oriented strategies that will create meaningful and lasting change. They go from feeling stuck, and like they're just spinning their wheels as they ineffectively chasing after what they think is the solution to the problem, to feeling like they are actually making progress. But the first step is truly self-awareness. If you don't know what's really getting in your way, you can't possibly fix it. Can you relate? If so, you're in luck: Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm walking you through an activity that will raise your self-awareness, and help you "get under the hood" of your inner experience. You'll learn some new things about yourself AND get direction for how to start making changes.  Here's to growth! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

8 Maj 20181h 14min