#112 - Yes, They're Judging You: How to Handle Your Family Over the Holidays.

#112 - Yes, They're Judging You: How to Handle Your Family Over the Holidays.

How To Handle Challenging Relationships Over the Holidays Ahoy there! As I'm sure you're well aware, the holidays are fast approaching. If you're like many (most?) of our life coaching, therapy, and marriage counseling clients, over the past few weeks you've probably had lots of questions on your mind about how to handle this time of year - especially when it comes to managing your most important family relationships. While family holidays have the potential to be fun and meaningful opportunities for connection, they can also be fraught with delicate and/or infuriating interpersonal dilemmas for many people. You want to have close relationships with your family or in-laws, and at the same time, it can feel very challenging to navigate the high-intensity holiday season without your family pushing your buttons, and firing off your emotional triggers. Because of having had bad experiences in holidays past, many people can spend weeks, if not months, leading up to the holidays in a state of "holiday anxiety." We have had a number of thoughtful and heartfelt questions come in recently from our listeners, readers, and clients about how to handle various relationship situations over the holidays. As a little holiday "care package" for them and for you, I'll be putting on my family therapist hat and addressing them on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Here are some of the questions our listeners (and clients) have been asking lately. I chose these questions in particular because I think that so many people can relate to them... Grandparents Not Respecting Parents "Dr. Lisa, I love my husband's family. They are so kind, and generous with us. At the same time, I feel that they do not respect our (especially my) authority as parents. In our home we have expectations for our kid's behavior, and also set limits around things like junk food. I feel that my husband's parents disregard these completely, even when we directly ask them to. The grandparents are overstepping boundaries. In particular, my mother in law is controlling and overbearing. It doesn't matter what I say or how I feel. My husband tells me that it's just the way she is and to go along with it. But I am so frustrated when I'm around her. I need him to set boundaries with his family and he won't. I need to be setting boundaries for grandparents. We are going to be staying with them for a week. Help!" How Do I Deal With My Judgmental Family "How do I deal with nosy questions? Even if they are well-meaning, I feel like my family does not get me at all, and like they're always judging me and my choices." Spending Christmas Alone After Divorce "This is my first holiday after my divorce, and I feel really sad. All I can think about are holidays I had with my Ex. My friends are busy with their families. I feel lonely. I think I am starting to get "holiday depression" over it. What do I do?" Toxic Parents: Do I Avoid My Family Over the Holidays? "I want to have a good relationship with my family, but over the years I have become aware that I have toxic parents. I believe they may even be narcissistic parents. Both of my parents are critical and judgmental of me. My mother can literally be abusive towards me. She is also completely codependent. I have dealt with it in the past by avoiding family gatherings, and avoiding my family during the holidays. My friends have told me I should cut off family entirely, and honestly I have considered cutting family out of my life. I don't want to do that, but I don't know what else to do to protect myself from my toxic family." Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents "My parents are the nicest people ever but they drive me crazy. My mom is constantly complaining about her health, and then I watch her sit on her butt all day and eat junk food. She is seriously overweight, has high blood pressure, is pre-diabetic, and will not do anything about it. My father constantly interrupts people. He drinks too much. He talks with his mouth full. My parents are not in a great place financially, and spend way too much money on our kids during the holidays and they make bad financial choices in general. I am literally embarassed by my parents. I want to help them but when I say anything they shut me down. All my "holiday stress" is tied to my frustrating family. How do I deal with this?" I answer all these questions on today's podcast. Listen, and get some advice for how to manage all of these challenging family situations with love, compassion, tolerance and strength. Do you have follow up questions for me? Or comments? Please share them on the blog! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Here's a link if you want to check out one of the resources discussed on today's show. Crucial Conversations; Tools For Talking When the Stakes Are High, by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler

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#437 The Upside of ADHD: Unlocking Your Hidden Superpowers

#437 The Upside of ADHD: Unlocking Your Hidden Superpowers

Recently diagnosed with adult ADHD (or thinking that you probably should be?) Well friend, welcome to the club, and I'm glad you're here to learn all about the upside of ADHD superpowers! In this episode of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast, I sit down with my colleague and fellow therapist, Jesse S., to talk about the ups and downs of ADHD—especially when you’re diagnosed as an adult. Together, we share our personal stories (and some laughs!) about what it’s like to navigate life with ADHD—before and after diagnosis. We dive deep into the challenges, relationship struggles, and unexpected upside of ADHD superpowers, while offering practical tools to help you thrive. Timestamps: 00:00 Is This You? Recognizing ADHD as an Adult 00:42 Meet Jesse S.! 02:12 The “Aha!” Moment That Changed Everything 03:49 How to Get Diagnosed: Jesse’s Journey 05:07 Life Before and After Diagnosis 17:06 ADHD and Relationships 23:42 Struggles, Self-Esteem, and Stigma 26:39 Thriving in School and Work 28:29 Finding Your Zone 30:18 Structure for ADHD Success 39:46 Boosting Brainpower: Sleep, Nutrition, and Hydration 42:20 Resources and Words of Hope Living with ADHD can feel like a whirlwind—your creativity and energy can light up a room, but staying organized or focused might sometimes feel like an uphill battle. And let’s be real: when ADHD gets in the way of meeting expectations (yours or others'), it can take a toll on your self-esteem.  The good news? Self-esteem isn’t a fixed trait—it’s something you can strengthen with the right insights and support. Take my How Healthy is Your Self-Esteem? quiz to discover where you’re thriving and where you could use a little extra love and support. It’s quick, eye-opening, and might just be the first step toward embracing the amazing person you are, ADHD and all.  And don’t forget to stay connected with me on social media! I’m always sharing tips, insights, and inspiration on Instagram and YouTube. I also host regular live streams on both platforms where we can dive deeper into topics like ADHD, relationships, and personal growth. See you there! Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Share this podcast with someone who needs a little ADHD inspo today! Let’s thrive together. 💖

20 Jan 47min

#436 Stop ‘Working’ on Your Relationship to Start Making it Fun Again

#436 Stop ‘Working’ on Your Relationship to Start Making it Fun Again

Do you ever feel like “working” on your relationship just drains the joy out of it? You’re not alone— that “work on it” narrative is so common and in my experience as a marriage counselor…. some of the worst advice ever.  Of course you want a better relationship, but there are much more effective ways of making that happen: Especially when you start prioritizing the parts that you enjoy. In this podcast, I’ll show you why the idea that “relationships are hard work” might actually be sabotaging your connection and what to do instead. Learn how to bring more fun, positivity, and love into your relationship with simple, actionable steps. We’ll explore everything from changing your mindset to building better communication and adding joy to your everyday life. Timestamps: 00:00 – The Worst Relationship Advice Ever 00:38 – Why Relationships Should Be Fun 01:34 – Shifting Your Mindset from Work to Joy 02:40 – Bringing Fun Back into Your Relationship 03:30 – How Personal Growth Improves Love 04:53 – Mastering Positive Communication 06:12 – Focus on What’s Good (And Watch it Grow!) 07:51 – Making Your Relationship Pleasurable Again 09:31 – Leading with Love 12:35 – Turning Mundane Tasks into Meaningful Moments If you’ve been feeling like your relationship is more work than it should be, I’ve got something for you. My free 2-part video training, Communication That Connects, will help you shift out of that "hard work" mindset and give you tools to build a relationship that feels fun, loving, and easy again. Check it out here: https://www.growingself.com/communication. 💕 💬 Got questions? Join me for this week’s livestream on Thursday at 12 PM MT on YouTube. Submit your questions anonymously ahead of time here: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who could use this advice, share this video with them! Let’s create stronger, happier relationships together. 💕

13 Jan 44min

#435 Every Part of You is Loveable: Exploring IFS with Dr. Dick Schwartz

#435 Every Part of You is Loveable: Exploring IFS with Dr. Dick Schwartz

Ever feel like you’re at war with yourself? This might change everything… In this heartfelt and transformative episode, I had the honor of sitting down with Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), to explore how understanding and working with your “parts” can unlock profound healing and self-growth. 🌟 We all have parts of us—the inner critic, the procrastinator, the overachiever. These parts aren’t flaws; they’re doing their best to protect us, even if their methods aren’t helpful. Dr. Schwartz explains how we can connect with these parts, heal the pain behind them, and step into the calm, confident Self that’s been there all along. Plus, we’ll dive into practical tools from his new workbook, discuss how trauma impacts your inner world, and even demonstrate how to start connecting with your parts. This conversation is packed with insights you don’t want to miss. Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction: Why You Feel Stuck 01:15 Meet Dr. Richard Schwartz: Founder of IFS 03:40 What Are “Parts” and Why Do They Matter? 08:20 The Healing Power of Your Self 12:45 Live Demo: Working with Your Parts 20:00 Balancing Inner Conflicts 30:50 When and How to Seek Professional Help 38:15 Insights from IFS 40:56 Final Thoughts and Next Steps Ready to take the first step? Check out my free What’s Holding You Back? quiz to help you gain personal insights and self-awareness around your inner world. This will shed a light on hidden obstacles within yourself so you can move forward into your best year yet with clairity and confidence. I hope you check it out.  After you listen to this episode, join me LIVE this Thursday at 12 pm MT for an open Q&A on personal growth and Internal Family Systems. Submit your anonymous questions here, and I’ll answer them live on Thursday: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Don’t forget to share this podcast with someone who could use a little encouragement today. Let’s grow together! 💕

6 Jan 39min

#434 How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind for Success with Thais Gibson

#434 How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind for Success with Thais Gibson

Ever feel stuck, like you're trying SO hard to change, but somehow end up back in the same place? You're not alone, and guess what—it's not your fault. In this episode, we'll unlock the secrets to reprogramming your subconscious mind to finally get the life you want. 🙌 Whether you're aiming to nail your New Year's resolutions or just break free from old patterns, this episode will give you the tools to make it happen. ✨ Timestamps to Transform Your Mindset: 00:00 – Why “Wanting It” Isn’t Enough 03:05 – Mind Wars: Conscious vs. Subconscious Goals 05:07 – Aligning Goals with Subconscious Needs 10:08 – How to Identify Limiting Beliefs 24:03 – Brain Rewiring 101  41:14 – Building Self-Trust: Small Steps, Big Shifts 45:51 – Your Roadmap to Lasting Change Ready to take the first step? Check out my free What’s Holding You Back? quiz for personalized insights into your subconscious blocks! This will help you start your new year off with clarity and confidence so you can achieve what matters most to you. Wishing you all the best in this new chapter! Xoxo  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growingself.com P.S. Don’t forget to share this episode with a friend who’s so ready to make a change—you might just change their life, and get an accountability partner in the process. Let’s do this together! 💪

30 Dec 202448min

#433 Married With a Crush?

#433 Married With a Crush?

Friend, this topic is SO important I'm putting it back in front of you again. Here's the deal: Even people in strong, satisfying relationships can develop feelings of attraction for another person. It's part of the human experience. These feelings can be transient and meaningless... OR they could destroy your life, if you follow them.  Are crushes innocent, or on-ramps to an affair? Can you be "friends" with someone you have a crush on, without risking your relationship? What should you do when you're married, but have a crush on someone else? Oh, the questions! It happens: people in happy, healthy, committed relationships can still develop crushes on others. However, smart, self-aware people in committed relationships that they care about need to handle these maturely and with wisdom. That's what you'll learn how to do on today's show. We'll discuss:  The mechanics of a crush; how and why crushes develop The difference between a crush and a platonic friendship Why happy, committed married people can have crushes on others How crushes can turn into something more serious How to use self awareness, integrity, and honesty to protect your marriage How to use your crush experience in order to add energy and intimacy into your relationship Warning signs that your crush is developing into something else Why extramarital affairs are always a bad idea, and rarely end well How to stop having a crush on someone else How to avoid embarrassment and professional ruin if you have a crush on a coworker How to protect your relationship and stay true to your values even when you're having feelings for another. All this and more on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com Ps: As we discussed in this episode, part of your action plan needs to be leaning towards your partner in an authentic and emotionally intimate way, and that calls for excellent communication skills. To support you in this, please help yourself to my free two part communication skills training, "Communication That Connects." I made this for you!  ... LMB

23 Dec 202455min

#432 How to Stand Up For Yourself, with Dr. Sunita Sah

#432 How to Stand Up For Yourself, with Dr. Sunita Sah

How often do you say "yes" when you really want to say "no"? If you've ever felt that way, you're not alone! Today, we're diving into what happens when you stand up to someone in all areas of life—work, relationships, even healthcare.  My guest is the incredible Dr. Sunita Sah, an award-winning professor at Cornell and author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. Dr. Sah's research focuses on why so many of us feel pressured to go along with things we don't believe in and how we can cultivate the courage to say "no" when it matters most. In this episode, you'll learn how social norms and "insinuation anxiety" hold us back from standing up for our true selves. You’ll walk away with the confidence to take small, powerful steps toward defiance in a way that feels authentic and empowering. Timestamps 00:22 - Meet Dr. Sunita Sah: Her Story of Transformation 00:47 - The Psychology of Compliance and Defiance 01:31 - Defying Social Pressures: Real-Life Stories 02:07 - Why Compliance in the Workplace Hurts Us All 07:37 - A Fresh Take on Defiance: It’s Not What You Think 10:11 - The Social Roots of Compliance 17:51 - Facing the Inner Blocks to Standing Up for Yourself 25:32 - Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Defiance Muscle 33:23 - Living Authentically: The Real Benefits of Saying No 45:02 - Wrapping Up: Your Takeaways and Resources Having low self esteem can make it hard to stand up for yourself. Is this true for you? Find out by taking my free Self Esteem Quiz! You’ll find out where your self esteem thrives and discover new areas for growth. Take it here.  And, join me for a live Q&A this Thursday at 12 pm MT on YouTube, where we'll be talking all about self-advocacy. Want to submit a question anonymously? Use this link PS: Think of someone who could use a boost in self-advocacy? Share this episode with them, and let’s help each other live authentically! ❤️

16 Dec 202450min

#431 Is a Porn Addiction Destroying Your Relationship?

#431 Is a Porn Addiction Destroying Your Relationship?

Is pornography addiction taking a toll on your life or relationship? You’re not alone, and real help is here! 🙌  In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, I sit down with the incredible Sathiya Sam, founder of the Deep Clean program, to discuss what recovery from porn addiction actually looks like.  Together, we dive into tough (but crucial) questions: How do you spot the signs of addiction? What does true healing look like for both individuals and couples? And, most importantly, how can you support a partner without losing yourself along the way? 🎥 Ready to learn practical strategies for growth, connection, and positive change? Listen now and find actionable steps to help you or your loved one break free from pornography addiction, once and for all.  Timestamps: 00:00 – The Hidden Impact of Porn Addiction 01:03 – Meet Sathiya: From Personal Struggle to Lifelong Mission 06:21 – Spotting the Warning Signs 10:46 – The Toll on Relationships and Intimacy 13:48 – Physical and Emotional Consequences 18:35 – Healing Betrayal Trauma Together 21:13 – Steps Toward Lasting Recovery 22:53 – Three Core Steps to Heal 23:41 – Building Self-Awareness 26:40 – How Trauma Shapes Addiction 30:56 – Supporting Your Partner’s Recovery (Without Losing Yourself) 36:41 – Long-Term Transformation If you or a loved one are ready to break free from porn addiction, I have something to share with you. Recovery starts with connection—and connection starts with communication. My free video training series, Communication That Connects, is here to help you open up, ask for support, and rebuild trust with those who matter most. You don’t have to do this alone.  Your partner in growth,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com P.S. Don’t miss this week’s live stream on Thursday at 12 pm MT here on YouTube, where we'll dive deeper into porn addiction recovery. Submit your anonymous questions in advance – I’d love to help you find your way forward. 💬

9 Dec 202443min

#430 Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist (And How to Cope)

#430 Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist (And How to Cope)

Are you walking on eggshells, questioning your sanity, and starting to wonder if your partner’s behavior is actually...narcissism? In this episode, we’re diving deep into the challenging and often painful question of whether you might be married to a narcissist. Narcissism isn’t a one-size-fits-all diagnosis; it has shades, nuances, and layers, which can make it tough to recognize and even harder to deal with. Chapters: 00:45 - The Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist 10:47 - The Two Types of Narcissists: Wounded vs. Malignant.  19:12 - Inside the Narcissistic Relationship Cycle 27:00 - Can a Relationship with a Narcissist Work?  44:42 - Strategies to Navigate Conflicts.  If you're in a relationship with someone who might be a narcissist, I know how exhausting and frustrating communication can be. That's why I created my free 2-part video training, Communication That Connects. You’ll learn practical tools to de-escalate arguments, protect your emotional well-being, and build healthier patterns of connection, even with difficult personalities. I hope you check it out. ❤️ And don’t forget to join me for this week’s livestream on Thursday at 12 pm MT / 2pm ET on YouTube, where we’ll chat all about being married to a narcissist. You can ask an anonymous question in advance at https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. If you know someone else who could benefit from this episode, send it over to them! Let’s keep looking out for each other.  Xo, Dr. Lisa GrowingSelf.com

2 Dec 20241h 2min

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