#169 - Becoming Emotionally Healthy

Do you know what's standing between you and the life you want? Really? As a life coach and therapist I regularly meet with clients who show up for counseling or coaching, certain that they know what their problem is, and what needs to be done to fix it. Aaannnddd.... the next phase of the work in counseling or coaching is often helping people go further, and dig deeper to understand what the true source of "the problem" really is. (Hint: It is almost never what you think it is). Once that is revealed, we can then move to creating action-oriented strategies that will create meaningful and lasting change. They go from feeling stuck, and like they're just spinning their wheels as they ineffectively chasing after what they think is the solution to the problem, to feeling like they are actually making progress. But the first step is truly self-awareness. If you don't know what's really getting in your way, you can't possibly fix it. Can you relate? If so, you're in luck: Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm walking you through an activity that will raise your self-awareness, and help you "get under the hood" of your inner experience. You'll learn some new things about yourself AND get direction for how to start making changes.  Here's to growth! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

8 Maj 20181h 14min

Your Relationship Questions, Answered. Today, we're answering your relationship questions in order to give you real help for your relationship. Here are some of the relationship questions I'm answering today: Ms M asks, "How do I know whether my relationship is worth saving, or if I should let this go and move on?" Lisa asks: "Should I stay friends with my Ex?" Mr. T asks: "I'm shutting down with my partner. How do I stop?" Ms. K asks: "I'm afraid that my boyfriend is emotionally unavailable due to his own issues. What do I do?" I mentioned many resources and links in this episode. Get access to all of them on the post for this show: https://wp.me/p6UUlQ-dmt Do you have relationship advice for these questioners or personal experiences that you can relate? Perhaps you have your own relationship questions, self-improvement questions, breakup questions, or career questions for an upcoming episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast? If so, please leave them in the comments! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

23 Apr 20181h 11min

How To Improve Self Esteem How do you feel about yourself? Are you confident in your power to make good things happen in your life? Do you believe that you are just as good as anyone else? Do you trust yourself? Do you feel like you are a good person, who is worthy of love and respect? Too many people go through periods in their lives where self-confidence feels elusive. They doubt themselves. They may feel "less than" others around them. Perhaps they don't ask for what they deserve or don't feel able to take the risks that will move them forward. And as a result, they may settle for less in their relationships, their careers, and their lives. Self-esteem matters. Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Self-Worth Feeling good about yourself (not in a narcissistic way, but rather in a healthy, self-accepting way) is key to having a good life. Yet many people struggle with this, and it is something that we routinely address with our therapy and life coaching clients. So, to help you cultivate healthy confidence in your own life, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm joined by two of my colleagues, Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Kathleen Stutts, M.Ed., LPCC, both of whom are experts in helping people heal, grow, and restore their optimism about themselves. We're talking about how to improve your self-esteem, how to create self-confidence, how to cultivate healthy self-worth, and most importantly, how to use the healing power of self-acceptance to (paradoxically) create real and lasting change in your life. We hope this exploration helps YOU on your path of growth and healing, too. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

9 Apr 20181h 4min

Dating Coaches Get Real. Yes, modern dating can be challenging. For as constantly-connected as we all are digitally, it can still be hard to establish a genuine connection with someone new — let alone someone who's a good match for you. Whether you've been doing online dating, or spending lots of time out and about chatting up attractive strangers you know that dating in this day and age can be daunting. And... I also want you to know that dating, with intention, courage and strategy, also works. There are many great people out there, just like you, who are looking for love — and finding it. Modern dating can and does lead to love.  But there are questions about dating that need to be answered first. Namely, what's the difference between the type of people that modern dating seems to work for, and those for whom love is always elusive? What are the changes that you need to make in your dating approach to get better results? So Why Am I Still Single? To get to the bottom of this, I've asked the person who understands the realities of modern dating better than anyone: Brian Howie, to join me on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Brian is the founder, host and agent provocateur of The Great Love Debate. All over the world, Brian has been amassing single men and women together in the same room (often with some relationship and dating experts thrown in) and then sparking passionate conversations between them all about what is either leading to (or getting in the way of) love and connection. Through these debates, Brian has gained a unique perspective into modern dating as well as a remarkable insight into the specific things that both men and women are unintentionally doing that either sabotage their chances of creating a meaningful new relationship.... or lead them into the arms of "the one." Listen to his expert advice, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.   xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

27 Mars 20181h

Do Long Distance Relationships Work? Oh yes. In fact, long-distance relationships can have strengths over in-person relationships, and be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. However, to have a successful long-distance relationship, you need to be mindful of a few key factors in order to help you both feel loved, secure and connected although the miles keep you apart. To talk all about how to make long distance relationships work, I've enlisted the support of long-distance relationship expert Brogan Crosby, M.S., LMFTC. We're talking about: Why long-distance couples can actually have strengths and advantages over other couples, especially when one or both partners are ambitious and career-focused. Some of the unique challenges that long-distance couples face and how to overcome them. What the most important factors in making long distance relationships work are, and how you can mindfully incorporate certain strategies to keep your connection strong. Strategies to use during the transitional period when you shift from a long-distance relationship to living together (or nearby). Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and learn how to make your long-distance relationship thrive. All the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

13 Mars 20181h 1min

There are false myths about men that are unhelpful to everyone; themselves, the people who love them, and their relationships. So on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, our mission is to understand men and "the male experience," especially when it comes to self-development. To this end, I've enlisted the support of my fellow couples counselors, therapists and life coaches, Zachary Gaiter, and Seth Bender Here are just some of the questions about men we're discussing: Why can it be so hard to get men to open up? Is it true that men are less likely to get involved in personal growth work, or want to pursue couples counseling? How can women help the men in their lives get help if they're worried about them? What are some things that men need to figure out, that women never even think about? What are some of the things that men really need their partners to know, but might not know how to say? What is the difference between a "guy" and a "man," in terms of male identity development? And what are some of the unique situations that men may be struggling with, but that never even get discussed? All here for you, on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

26 Feb 20181h 9min

Ghosts, Zombies and Breadcrumbs, Oh My! If you've been on the modern dating scene for any time at all, you've probably become aware that the way people connect with each other is changing. Old "rules of dating" that we could once take for granted are no longer the norm. In fact, dating advice from just a few years ago might now steer you in the wrong direction if you're looking for love. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm joined by Match.com's lead researcher and scientific advisor Dr. Helen Fisher, as well as Denver dating coach Markie Keelan, to talk about their latest dating advice and how you can make it work for you. Here are just some of the dating questions we're discussing: What does it mean when someone you like disappears, only to show up again weeks or months later? How do a significant percentage of long-term relationships start these days? (Hint: Not  with a first date!) How can you tell if you're in a "situationship" that's going to turn into a real relationship? (Or not). Why does keeping your options open sometimes reduce the chance of finding authentic intimacy? How is the evolving political landscape impacting the way people behave when they're dating? Why are some parts of the country notorious for "Ghosts, Zombies and Breadcrumbs" - and what you can do to avoid this trap? All for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

12 Feb 201853min

How Do You Get Over An Affair? I know it sounds hard to believe, but you can heal after infidelity, and stay together. You may not ever "get over" an affair, but you can certainly heal your relationship. It is also possible to rebuild the trust after infidelity. However.... getting past infidelity is an active process, for both partners. Time alone does not heal an affair. You cannot just "get over" infidelity. After you've been betrayed, you can't just flip a switch and put the past in the past, and trust your partner again. But you can heal, and you can trust again... when you're both doing the work of recovery, together. Real Advice For Rebuilding Trust and Security, After An Affair On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm sharing the ten crucial steps that every couple must take in order to repair their relationship after infidelity. I hope that this discussion creates a road-map for you to follow, as you work to reclaim your relationship, your trust, and your sense of security after an affair. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

29 Jan 20181h 16min