#283 - People Pleaser? How to Stop.

We think of the process of changing your life as a positive thing — one that is hopeful, and infused with joy. However, here's the dirt: While the results are absolutely positive, no-one ever, ever, changes because they're just so happy with their life as it currently is. No. People actually change because they are frustrated, annoyed, hurt, embarrassed, experiencing negative consequences, or just completely worn out and exhausted from living the way they have been. It takes a brave soul to raise their hand and say, "This is what changing my life actually was like — tell my story." It's such a treasure when that happens though. We all learn from each other, and hearing how people just like us learned, changed, grew, and evolved, creates an inspirational path that we can then follow ourselves. Today, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast that is exactly what we are doing. My dear colleague, fellow Denver therapist and online life coach Polly Drew has an inspiring story of personal transformation to share. She talks about the change process: From her first awareness that she had a problem, to how she got the motivation to start making changes, to the support and systems she needed to put into place in order to be successful in changing her life. We're talking all about what it takes to really change your life on this episode of the podcast. With love, Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT& Polly Drew, M.Ed., LMFT www.growingself.com

13 Maj 20191h 3min

In my role as a therapist, life coach and breakup recovery coach here at Growing Self, I have had the honor and privilege to walk along side many people as they make agonizing decisions about whether or not to stay in a relationship. They often have deep ambivalence about the relationship: They love their person, and they acknowledge that the relationship has many good aspects, and yet they simply feel in their heart that it is not the right relationship for them. So they stay. Sometimes, for years.  If this is familiar to you (or someone you know) this podcast is for you. In this episode I'm addressing: Why people get stuck in an unhappy relationship What goes on inside of someone in the weeks and months leading up to a breakup Why (and when) breaking up can be the most compassionate thing for all parties How to break up with someone you care about (especially if they argue with you about it) Underlying factors that can contribute to people having "commitment issues" What relationship patterns need to be addressed, lest they follow you into your next relationship What to discuss in couple' counseling if you want to give it one more shot I hope this perspective helps! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

6 Maj 20191h 5min

Growing Self is devoted to helping you feel happier, and get better results in your relationships and your career. Over the years of being a therapist and coach I've learned that there are a couple of specific skills that, when learned, can change everything for you; you'll feel happier, less stressed, more confident, and empowered. I teach these skills to my private therapy and coaching clients, I teach them in my online Happiness Class, and I'm here today to teach them to you, too. These strategies work for me, they work for my clients, and they'll work for you too. Listen now, and let's get started! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

29 Apr 201949min

Money. Love it, hate it, it matters. Financial concerns can impact every area of your life, including your relationships, your career and even your self-esteem. Learning how to take charge of your financial success is vital to creating the life you want.   Learning how to be better with money is not just a matter of making a budget and stopping your $5 latte habit. Genuine financial success requires self-awareness, clarity about your core values, and intention -- as well as a plan. Financial management is a vital life-skill that is learned, and once you have a tool-box of strategies to manage your money you can flourish in every way. That's why, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Profit Boss Hilary Hendershott.Hilary is a Certified Financial Planner, financial advisor and a wealth coach. She has helped many people learn how to not just manage their finances, but create genuine abundance in their lives. She's here with actionable advice to help you: Gain self awareness about your patterns with money Stop sabotaging your financial success Use your core values guide your financial decisions Develop an intentional relationship with your money Guide your money, easily and effortlessly Create long-term financial peace Listen to our discussion and get actionable advice from Hilary about how to start changing your relationship with money for the better, starting today.   xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: Have a follow up question about financial success or any other Love, Happiness or Success topic? Cruise over to www.growingself.com and share it in the comments!

22 Apr 20191h 1min

Adult ADHD: A Blessing and a Curse Wondering if you have Adult ADHD, or suspicious you do? Want to take an "Adult ADHD Test?" Here's the first test: Does the fact that this is a podcast about ADHD rather than a written article make you feel relieved? (Because you can run / clean / drive / keep futzing around with whatever you want to instead of having to sit still for a REALLY LONG TIME (like 8 minutes) and laboriously read through an article and take a quiz?) Ding ding! On today's episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're talking about how to tell the difference between garden-variety disorganization and real-deal ADHD. I'll give you an "Adult ADHD Quiz" to help you determine if you might have it, or if someone you love may struggle with it. I'll also be sharing some strategies you can use to conquer Adult ADHD, and rise to your magnificent potential.  Check out the video and book resources I mentioned on the podcast at www.growingself.com/adult-adhd-test. Learn more about Dr. Bobby, her coaching practice, and her online "Happiness Class" at www.growingself.com (Music Credits: "Networking" by The Knife)

15 Apr 201956min

Generational differences in the workplace aren't something that you might always have on the top of your mind, but they can impact you more than you may realize. How you communicate, how you work with a team, your expectations about your career path, and even the way you relate to authority figures can all be connected to the point in time that your personality and professional identity were being developed. Understanding your generational differences, particularly how they show up on-the-job, can help you not just understand yourself more deeply, but help you work more effectively with your colleagues.  Join career and leadership coaches Teena E and Markie K on this episode to gain understanding of why you are the way you are on the job, and how you can use awareness of yourself and others to create collaborative connections with your colleagues. All the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

8 Apr 201950min

Let’s be real — sex with your ex is rarely just about sex. If you’re wrestling with the urge to reconnect physically with your ex after a breakup, or stuck in a situationship with them that feels more painful than healing, this episode is for you. Today on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’m getting honest about what’s really going on when you feel the urge to have sex with ex partners. We’ll explore the deeper psychological and biological bonds that make letting go so difficult, and why continuing to have sex with your ex can quietly (but powerfully) sabotage your healing. You’ll also hear from a listener who’s still living with his ex (and still in love), and we’ll walk through his story together to explore the emotional traps so many of us fall into after a breakup. No judgment here — just clarity, compassion, and a loving reality check. Whether you're texting, cohabitating, or tangled up in late-night hookups, here’s the truth: the longer you stay in limbo, the more it costs you. You deserve peace, clarity, and a real path forward — and I’m here to help you find it. Timestamps: 00:00 – The Hook: Why Sex With Your Ex Isn’t Harmless03:04 – “We’re Broken Up… But Still Living Together” 09:58 – Attachment, Addiction, and Why You Can’t Let Go 12:46 – The Real Reason Ex Sex Keeps You Stuck 27:21 – Power Dynamics, False Hope, and Emotional Self-Betrayal 46:11 – The Way Out: Healing, Boundaries, and Next Steps 51:23 – How to Heal From Heartbreak and Move On Navigating this emotional terrain is hard — especially when your body and brain are giving you mixed messages that make it nearly impossible to see clearly. The best place to start is with clarity — not just about your ex, but about yourself. You can give yourself that clarity when you take my free breakup quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? You’ll get a clear look at what stage of heartbreak you’re actually in (because it’s not always obvious), and what kind of support you need to move forward. Think of it as your compass out of confusion, and toward emotional freedom. 👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? — and get your heartbreak recovery roadmap. If your ex is still in your head (or your bed)... that's not something to be ashamed of. But it is something you can talk about — with someone who gets it, and who knows how to help.  My team at Growing Self includes licensed therapists and expert breakup recovery coaches who specialize in helping people heal from heartbreak. You can schedule a free consultation to talk through what’s been going on and explore how we can support you — whether you’re ready to move on or just need someone to sit with you in the uncertainty. 👉 Schedule Your Free Consultation — and take the next step toward your healing. You deserve to feel whole again. You deserve clarity, peace, and the kind of love that doesn’t leave you questioning your worth. This moment can be the beginning of something truly powerful — the moment you choose you. And you can start today. 💛 Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If someone you care about is stuck in this same cycle? Be a lifeline. Share this episode with them.

25 Mars 201954min

How do you know if you're with the right person? If your relationship is good but not perfect, is that okay? How do you know if you're settling? When do you invest in a relationship, and when should you bail? So. Many. Questions. This angst was captured perfectly by a recent question that someone asked on our Growing Self Facebook page: "How do you know if you should marry the guy? I’m in my mid twenties and loads of my friends are facing this question, as am I. You’ve been with them a couple years, it’s good but not perfect ... Do you break up and look for more or is he the one?" On this episode, we're discussing how to figure out if you're compatible, how good is good enough, what things in a relationship can change (and what can't) and the surprising shift in thinking that will help you see the potential of your relationship a different way — for better or for worse. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

18 Mars 20191h 9min