#418: Are You Making Major Relationship Mistakes Without Realizing It?

Ever feel like your ex is living rent-free in your head, even though the relationship is so over? Whether it’s been weeks, months, or (gulp) years since your breakup, if you’re wondering “Why do I keep thinking about my ex?” and you’re still caught in a loop of thoughts, memories, or even fantasies about them, I made this episode just for you. I know firsthand — both as a therapist and from my own experience — that getting stuck on an ex is exhausting. But there is a path forward. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I’m walking you through exactly why this happens (spoiler alert: it’s not your fault — it’s biology), and more importantly, how to finally break free so you can move forward into peace, clarity, and emotional freedom. Timestamps: 00:00 – Why Do I Keep Thinking About My Ex? 06:30 – Love and Addiction: Your Brain on Heartbreak 14:58 – The Truth About Breakup Recovery 28:17 – Emotional Loose Ends: The Silent Saboteur 38:05 – Rebuilding Your Self & Reclaiming Your Future 48:14 – You’re Not Doomed to Keep Thinking About Your Ex If your ex is still living rent-free in your mind, please know you don’t have to stay stuck here. The first step to getting your power back is understanding exactly where you are in your healing process. That’s why I created a free tool just for you. 👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? In just a few minutes, this quiz will show you which stage of healing you’re in — and what specific steps will help you move forward. Whether you're still in emotional withdrawal or starting to let go, you'll get personalized insight and a roadmap for what to do next. And, if you're tired of spinning in circles, overthinking every memory, every mistake, every what-if — you don’t have to navigate this alone. Sometimes, the fastest way to start feeling better is simply talking to someone who truly gets it. Our team at Growing Self includes licensed therapists and breakup recovery coaches who specialize in this kind of healing work. 👉 Schedule a Free Consultation — to talk to one of the experts on our team and take the next brave step toward peace, healing, and freedom. You deserve to feel like yourself again. And yes, it’s absolutely possible to stop thinking about your ex — not because you forced yourself to forget, but because you’ve grown into someone who no longer needs to hold on. And you can start your healing today. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who keeps spiraling over their ex, share this with them. Forward the link, post it on your story, or send them a little nudge. Be the friend who helps them start healing.

1 Juni 202056min

We all hear “You have to love yourself first.” But what if you don't know how to love yourself?  This episode is all about authentic self love: What it really means, why having compassion and care for yourself matters so much, and how to love yourself even if (and especially if) you don't always feel like it. You are worthy of love and respect, and today's podcast will help you build your relationship... with yourself. With love and gratitude for the gift that is YOU,  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com P.S. — For even more support in creating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, check out my “cultivating self-confidence” collection. You'll find articles and advice about confidence and self-esteem, plus podcast playlists I put together for you.

25 Maj 20201h 12min

Feeling Trapped? When you're in a situation you're unhappy in but feel that the exits are blocked and that you have no good options, it's easy to feel trapped. Perhaps you're in an unhappy relationship, but can't leave. Or you feel forced to stay in a job you hate. Or your circumstances are limiting your empowerment and growth. When change feels futile, or impossible, it's easy to feel helpless, disempowered, and trapped. Does this sound familiar at all? If so, you're not alone. We all hit a wall sometimes. The good news is that there is a way out. Through using your creativity and giving yourself permission to entertain new thoughts, you'll either find new solutions... or inner peace. Listen, and learn about how to get unstuck when you're feeling trapped on this episode of the podcast.  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Maj 202025min

Is your partner threatening divorce? Are you? If so this is certainly a relationship crisis... but not necessarily the end. In fact, when couples are on the brink of divorce, it can be a turning point for a marriage. On this episode, I'm sharing some from-the-heart advice learned from my years as a marriage counselor about things you can do to stop this runaway train, and have new conversations with your partner to start the process of healing. I am also aware that there are situations where you cannot stop a divorce if your partner has made up their mind. I also have some advice for how to handle this, and offer some concrete strategies for having the healthiest and most collaborative parting as possible. I hope that all the advice helps you find your way through this confusing, and scary time, and that the path forward is one of growth for you -- no matter how things unfold. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

11 Maj 20201h 4min

Intentional Living: Without and Within On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast (as well as other episodes to come), I'm providing you with new ideas and growth activities that will help you move yourself forward on a deep level, while the world around us stops. To begin, I'm speaking with my dear Olivia, the mastermind behind Decluttered Intentions, about simple things you can do to: Create organization and order in your personal space Cultivate spaciousness and peace inside of yourself Release the opportunity to bury yourself in busyness Understand your patterns and ways of relating to the world Create order in your routines Curate your thinking patterns in a way to create gratitude, appreciation, and contentment. Connect with your dreams so that you can design a sanctuary within your home that nourishes you from the inside out. I hope that these ideas and activities help YOU use this special, quiet time to move forward on your journey of growth. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: One of the resources I mentioned in this episode is my "What's Holding You Back" assessment, that gives you insight into your personal strengths and growth opportunities in a variety of domains. Text "GROW" to 55444 if you'd like to take it. xoxo, LMB

20 Apr 202041min

FINDING BALANCE: We want to have everything. We want and need to have rules and structure to protect us and guide our lives. Yet we also crave freedom and independence. We long to have empathy and compassion in our relationships,but we also want to be challenged so that we can grow. Finding Balance In All Things Tight vs. Loose. Protective vs. Forgiving. Planning vs. Being Present. Everything we do exists on a continuum, a spectrum of finding balance between extremes so that we can create a healthy path on every level. Dr. Michele Gelfand is the author of "Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World," she's been on the stage of TedEx, she's been featured on The Hidden Brain podcast, and now she's here with me to share her wisdom with YOU. I hope her fascinating insights help you find a healthy balance in your life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

13 Apr 202057min

Let's face it: Couples and money is a hot-button issue for many relationships. Sooner or later, all successful long-term couples need to work together to figure out how to communicate productively about money so that they can get on the same page and create a shared financial future. This is not always easy under the best of circumstances.  Now, many couples are facing financial uncertainty or even a financial crisis (thanks coronavirus). It's more important than ever to be working as a united team around finances so that your relationship stays strong and healthy... even if your bank account takes a hit. To help you have constructive, drama free conversations about money with your partner, I've invited my colleague Meagan Terry to give us the scoop on exactly what to do (and what NOT to do) in order to have loving, respectful, and effective conversations about finances that create unity and connection.  Meagan is a highly experienced marriage counselor who has helped countless couples stop financial conflict and get on the same page around money. Now she's here for YOU. Listen, and get  her actionable tips you can start using today! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

6 Apr 202054min

ADVICE FROM A CAREER COACH | In addition to everything else in your life being upended by the coronavirus pandemic, you probably have a slew of new "coronavirus career anxieties" in addition to the usual coronavirus anxiety that's buzzing inside everyone right now. Many people are very worried about their career future right now. Many jobs have been lost to coronavirus, and with the threat of recession, there may be more layoffs to come. (Read: Coping With a Layoff) For those among us lucky enough to have stable employment, we now figure out how to maintain our professionalism via online video meetings, work from home while balancing childcare, homeschooling and more. In times like these it's absolutely normal to be worried about work, and help is here. Advice From a Career Coach Today I've tapped a couple of my career coaching colleagues to discuss important questions like:  What to do if you lost your job How to get a bridge job right now if you need one How to use this time to develop yourself professionally and make long term career plans How to protect your long-term career goals from coronavirus, if they're getting derailed right now Managing anxiety about your career Best practices when working from home for online video meetings Balancing work and life when you're working from home And more!   Join us for some timely coronavirus career advice on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

30 Mars 20201h 7min