#419: Why Making Friends as an Adult is so HARD... and How to Cultivate a Community

#419: Why Making Friends as an Adult is so HARD... and How to Cultivate a Community

Where did everyone go?? At some point, many/most adults look up one day to realize that all their old friends have either moved to Austin or are completely buried in #babylife or never-ending home improvement projects… and they have nobody to spontaneously get a beer with on a Tuesday night. Can you relate? It's not just you. Did you know that, on average, most people lose more friends every year than they gain? Over time, your life can become increasingly lonely unless you’re actively working to build and maintain friendships. But here’s the thing: making new friends as an adult is harder than it sounds. 😅 In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, we dive deep into the complexities of adult friendships with journalist Kelly Stout, who spent a month trying to make just one new friend… and learned some important things that she’s sharing with YOU. From the unexpected emotional hurdles to the surprising lessons about vulnerability and connection, we explore what it really takes to form meaningful relationships in adulthood. 💛 If you’ve ever struggled with loneliness, wondered why your social circle shrinks as the years go by, or just feel stuck when it comes to making new friends, this episode is for you. 🙌 Chapters 00:00 Can Happiness Really Be Found Through Friendships? 00:19 Why Your Friendships Are More Important Than You Think 00:58 Meet Kelly Stout: Her One-Month Quest to Make a New Friend 02:30 What Happens When You Set a Deadline to Make a Friend? 04:58 The Hidden Challenges of Building Friendships as an Adult 12:55 What Actually Defines a True Friendship? 15:40 Friendship Experiments: What Works and What Doesn’t 18:32 Why Opening Up to Others Feels So Scary—And Necessary 22:33 The Biggest Lessons We Learned About Friendship 25:01 When Friendships Feel Fleeting: Why It Happens 25:45 Vulnerability Hangover: Ever Felt It? Here’s Why It Happens 25:56 Turning Points: When You Realize You’re Doing Friendship All Wrong 26:33 Can You Fast-Track Emotional Intimacy? Let’s Find Out 27:18 Why We Gravitate Toward People Just Like Us—And What to Do About It 27:45 Discovering the Power of Friendships with People Who Are Different 28:19 The Comfort and Complexity of Long-Term Friendships 29:53 Bumble for Friends: Can You Really Make Friends on an App? 32:01 How Internalized Shame is Holding You Back from Friendship 34:03 The Reality of Keeping Friendships Alive as an Adult 43:57 Why We Crave Community—and How to Build One 47:01 Modern Loneliness: Why Life is Designed to Keep Us Isolated 53:44 Final Reflections: How to Create Real Friendships That Last 💡 Learn how to overcome the struggles of making friends as an adult and build a community that brings joy and connection back into your life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: I think you and I should be friends! Come hang out with me on a Thursday live stream! Mark your calendar right now, it's at 12pm MT / 2pm ET on my Instagram, Youtube, and Facebook. This week we're talking about friendships. If you have a question or conundrum related to this, here's the link to ask in advance: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. Be sure to subscribe/follow so you get updates and recaps! P.P.S. As promised in this podcast, here's the link to grab your totally free and VAST collection of all my best articles and podcasts on the subject of healthy relationships. I made it for YOU.

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#67 - How to Get Organized

#67 - How to Get Organized

Any Life Coach or Career Coach worth their salt will tell you that part of making great things happen in your life depends on your ability to be organized, at least to a degree. You may be blazingly talented and creative but if you can't manage your self, your possessions, your tasks and your time well enough, you are going to flounder.  Learning how to get organized and stay that way is a foundational life skill: Your ability to keep your self together is the platform from which you build great things -- occupationally, creatively, and relationally. (Don't even ask me how many marriage counseling sessions I've sat in where the focus of the entire conversation was around one person's inability to get places on time).  Furthermore, when you're disorganized it makes you feel anxious and out of control. Small tasks that should be easy start to feel hard because you can't find basic tools to accomplish them. (Like a stamp ...Or your shoes.) Little things become big things, procrastination carries you away, and all of a sudden you feel overwhelmed. Help is here. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with expert professional organizer Lisa Woodruff of Organize 365. She has lots of practical tools and tips to help you get your life back together again, plus a great plan for helping you stay in a good place long term.  Hope it helps! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com More from the blog: www.drlisamariebobby.com How to Get Organized: Listen Now. (Music Credits: James Kibbie)

10 Mars 201552min

#66 - Bounce Back From Stress and Burnout

#66 - Bounce Back From Stress and Burnout

We toss around the phrases like "I'm stressed out" so easily, glibly, like it's a little thing of small consequence. But, as you know if you've been living with chronic stress for a long time, or if you've ever been through serious-for-real burn-out, it's kind of a big deal. “Burning out” is the layperson’s term for the physical, emotional, and cognitive consequences of chronic stress. Understanding what it does to you, and why it's important to change, can help motivate you to reclaim your life. Chronic stress can affect everything in your life, from the way you think, to the way you feel physically and emotionally, to your relationships.  This episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is devoted to helping you learn what chronic stress and burnout is, whether you might be suffering with it, and most importantly -- what to do to help yourself recover.  You'll learn not just stress management techniques, but a new way of thinking and taking care of yourself that will help you become  more resilient... and effective. -- Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby How to Deal With Stress and Burnout: Listen Now

3 Mars 201547min

#65 - Natural Remedies For Depression

#65 - Natural Remedies For Depression

Feeling kind of "meh" lately? Feeling unmotivated and kind of negative about everything? You're not alone. As winter drags on (and on) it's the most normal thing in the world to be feeling kind of blah... and even for the dark tendrils of depression to snake their way around you.  Help is here! On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we're talking about natural remedies for depression. If you're like lots of people, you're hopeful that there could be natural or home remedies that can help you fight back against depression. And you're right. While sometimes therapy and medication are necessary to recover from Major Depressive Disorder, there are also fast, cheap, and relatively easy things that you can start doing today to start recovering from depression (and protect yourself from having it come back in the future).  Natural Remedies For Depression: Listen Now!

23 Feb 201535min

#63 - Have a Genuinely Happy Valentine's Day

#63 - Have a Genuinely Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a troublemaker. Yes, it can be fun and sweet and sexy, but it can also be a pain in the ass. Frankly, Valentine's Day can create drama coming and going -- people are anxious about how things are going to be received ahead of it, and then if someone's Valentine's Day dreams are dashed relationships need to recover in the aftermath. So I decided to make a podcast talking about the potential pitfalls of Valentine's Day: Anxiety and Expectations, and how to negotiate them in order to have a genuinely happy day with each other this year. Listen, and learn how to take your power back from V-Day, how to manage anxiety around gift-giving, how to create a Valentine's Experience for your honey that WILL be successful, and how to manage any hurt feelings you might harbor if your day didn't live up to your hopes.   With lots of love to you this Valentine's Day -- Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

9 Feb 201538min

#62 - Keepin' It Real: With Empty Girlfriend

#62 - Keepin' It Real: With Empty Girlfriend

Life, Love, and Comedy, With Denver's Empty Girlfriend On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I had the most delightful time talking with Denver comedians Hayley Driscoll and Christie Bucle about their take on life, love, and how they keep things real with their podcast Empty Girlfriend.  Listen now and get fresh insights on how to use humor to take your power back in challenging situations, how to use your voice to shine a light on subjects that might otherwise stay hidden in darkness, and how to use transparency and authenticity to create connection with others.

13 Jan 201556min

#61 - Having a "January Relationship Crisis?" You're Not Alone...

#61 - Having a "January Relationship Crisis?" You're Not Alone...

Is your marriage still recovering from the holidays? Have your conflicts felt especially nasty lately? Are you feeling particularly anxious or grim about the state of your marriage right now? If so you are not alone. Right now marriage counselors everywhere are being flooded by couples in crisis. Why is there such a big uptick in who reach out for marriage counseling after the holidays? 1) We think of the holidays as being happy times for a family, but in truth they can put an enormous strain on a relationship. There are just SO many things to fight about! 2) Negative memory priming. 3) New Year's Resolutions. "I'm not living like this for one more year." 4) January is the most common month for people to file for divorce. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast I'm talking about why this time of year is so darn hard for couples, and what you can do to put your marriage back together again and make 2015 a year of Love, Happiness and Success for both of you. . --- Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

5 Jan 201535min

#60 - What Did You Learn From 2014?

#60 - What Did You Learn From 2014?

Happy New Year! This is a wonderful, introspective time and a beautful opportunity for reflecting on what you've learned from the last year. Just like you clean your house and clear out old stuff at the end of the year in order to have a fresh start, now is a great time for doing a little mental and emotional house-cleaning too.  So today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing a strategy that I teach my private Life Coaching clients about how to uncover the things that they learned from this past year. This simple exercise will help you gain awareness on what it is that you need to say goodbye to, in order to say hello to the Love, Happiness and Success you're resolving for in 2015.  Listen now.

29 Dec 201423min

#59 - Everyday Mindfulness, with Dr. Peggy Sheehan

#59 - Everyday Mindfulness, with Dr. Peggy Sheehan

Mindfulness: The ability to stay grounded in the current moment, and simply be present with whatever is happening.  So simple, yet so hard. What's easy? Getting swept away by distractions, thoughts, feelings, daydreams, and worries about things that might happen.  When we live in our heads, which most of us do most of the time, we're not really here. And that's too bad, because the world is a beautiful place. Our ambient stress and future-focus is even more pronounced in the weeks leading up to the holiday season, so I thought that this would be a good time to revisit some simple mindfulness skills that will help you be able to slow down, breathe, and enjoy this special time of year. My guest on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast today is Dr. Peggy Sheehan. She's a Denver-based physician who teaches John Kabat Zinn's Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction program through Kaiser Permanente, as well as a spiritual director of the Zen Center of Denver. She knows a lot about mindfulness: The benefits of the practice, and everyday practices that will help you to slow down, and be more peaceful and present with your life. Today, she's sharing her wisdom with you.

8 Dec 201451min

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