#107 - The Pornstar Perspective: A Reflection on FSSW, Production and Work Life Balance w/ Caitlin Bell

It’s time to have a conversation about privilege within our community. What does that mean to you? What does that mean? It’s such a huge and hot topic within our industry that people either love or loathe talking about but after a brief tweet went viral, I’m here to start a discussion about it. I am joined by Jessie Sage of On the Whoreizon who I’ve had on the show before (go check out Episode 71!) to help me tackle this behemoth of a topic. We do our best in addressing our own privileges – being white, being cis, being educated, the ability to hold a civ job, being in North America – as we try to untangle what privilege can mean to so many in our community. I was so wrong with when I said that face out could be seen as a privilege and was presented with varying situations where it was out of their control and not their choice. We speak about the challenges of varying dichotomies of being face in vs. face out, contact vs. non-contact work, virtual vs. in-person work, thin vs. fat bodies, white vs. POC, heterosexual vs. LGBTQIA2S+, regionality, experience vs. inexperience. We barely even scratched the surface. An hour just isn’t long enough to fully dissect privilege but alteast we have gotten a conversation going. A big thank you to those who contributed to the show via voice memos. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and stories. twitter.com/sapiotextual www.jessiesage.com https://anchor.fm/whorizon/ Voice memos: https://twitter.com/AdoraBautistaXX https://twitter.com/cougarnikki https://twitter.com/ERPgod https://twitter.com/elliefoxxmiami Don’t forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph twitter.com/strippedbysia www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

14 Nov 20211h 17min

Hi folks! I’ve just recently come back from a much-needed vacation and have been busy catching up with work here this week. I also was invited to speak, yet again, at Florida State University in one of their Human Sexuality classes (thanks again, Alicia!). I thought this would be a great opportunity to share a little bit about myself (especially if you’re brand new here), to provide insight to these students, some of whom who have never spoken to a sex worker or don’t even know or realize what sex work entails, and to give a real-life account on our lives. I speak about the current landscape that us sex workers live in including laws that affect us, recent ongoing issues like labour rights, organizing in unions and the OnlyFans scandal and answer all of the student questions that I could within our alotted time slot. I was a great conversation to be had and although I was extremely tired (not my best speaking gig!), I feel incredibly humbled to be given this space to educate and spread the word. Don’t forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph twitter.com/strippedbysia www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

31 Okt 20211h 10min

***TW: mention of sexual assault in this episode.*** We're taking a bit of a turn this week as I excitedly bring on my colleague from one of my vanilla gigs, Carlie McPhee, a sexual health educator based in Vancouver, Canada to speak to us about the so-called effects of pornography on children. We analyze the newly-released documentary, "Raised on Porn", as requested by one of you listeners (thanks @gallegosmash!). He wanted to know if this film was based on factual merit or evidentiary research or if it was sensationalism at its finest. If you've been a long-time listener of the show, you may know that us sex workers get the brunt end of stigmatization, tasteless jokes, the short end of the stick when it comes to policy and acknowledgement, and the list can go on. I bring on Carlie this week to dissect the unintentional role pornography plays in kids' lives when growing up: as a sexual education tool. We also discuss sexual health education in schools and at home and discuss where the responsibility should lie amongst our kids and youth. With porn being so accessible nowadays, where does it belong? What should we do about it? Share your thoughts with us! thewholeshebang.ca Don't forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph www.twitter.com/strippedbysia www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

24 Okt 20211h 9min

Very excited for the episode this week! I bring on Elizabeth Dell of Amorus, a partner intimacy app and we speak about sexting, the importance of the essentials of communication and startups. We speak about communication and how that is so key in any relationship, working, romantic or otherwise. We delve further into communication and into the niche category of sexting - best practices on how to sext, tips and tricks and scenarios that may be useful. We then get into talking about Elizabeth's new intimacy app, Amorus, and how it can be used as a valuable resource to strengthen partnerships, increase intimacy and even be used in provider and client relationships. @amorusapp twitter.com/amorusapp https://amorus.net Don't forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

17 Okt 20211h 13min

I catch up with Malcolm Lovejoy, a fellow sex worker whom I’ve connected with on Twitter recently, to bring him onto the show to speak about a plethora of topics today in relation to sex work. Malcolm has juggled some very successful careers, both in journalism and in the music industry (you may know him as Mindbender Supreme!). Soon, he was writing pieces on activism and the injustices in the world both in his journalistic career and in his music but a lightbulb went off his brain: how can I write and preach about this stuff but not be fully immersed in it? It was at that point he made the career jump into sex work. Malcolm works and creates pornographic content and works in the Toronto area as a male service provider. We speak about each of these avenues and introduce and tackle the topics of his identity, Black masculinity, double standards and so much more. Listen in to this fun episode – it was a great conversation to be had. @mindbenderlovesyou https://twitter.com/malcolmlovejoy https://spit.exposed https://malcolmlovejoy.wixsite.com/ https://mindbendersupreme.bandcamp.com Don’t forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph https://twitter.com/strippedbysia www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

10 Okt 20211h 12min

***TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of rape and sexual assault in this episode.*** Such a juicy topic today and one that I have literally been DYING to report on forever. This week we discuss “revenge porn”. It’s a term that you’re likely familiar with but we actually don’t call it that anymore. Gender-based internet violence or non-consensual image distribution is the correct term that we are using to describe it nowadays and I bring on Erika Smith of Take Back the Tech, a global organization working end violence against women (especially harms that are conducted online!), reporting in from Mexico to teach us all a lesson today on what is popularly known as “revenge porn”. There are so many different types of gender based internet violence which we discuss in depth during our time together. We speak about on who it targets, how images or videos may be distributed, how it affects sex workers and what we can to get our content off and how we, as allies, can help. twitter.com/takebackthetech genderit.org feministinternet.net takebackthetech.net https://genderit.org/es/node/5232 Don’t forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph twitter.com/strippedbysia www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

3 Okt 20211h 13min

We are going a little left field this week as I invite my guest, Adam Heath Avitable of The Angel at the Starlite Motel and Dating Kinda Sucks podcasts onto the show. Even if you haven’t heard or listened to Adam’s podcasts, we dive deep into troubling intersectionalities that need to be discussed in sex work: misogyny, obsession, underage prostitution, stereotypes and stigmatization which all contribute to how sex work is seen in a negative light. Adam’s podcast, Angel at the Starlite Motel, tells the story of a dancer, Mandi May Jackson, and a client who was obsessed with her. After being tangled up in the murder of her former boss, strip club owner, James Mulrenin, her client, who only goes by the name of David, wrote a book dedicated to proving her innocence which Adam reads excerpts from every week with commentary. Adam, a self-described “reformed misogynist” and I discuss the problematic, and sometimes dangerous, concoction of money, obsession, drugs and sex and how it can entangle you in areas you wish you never would want to be. @avitable twitter.com/avitable The Angel at the Starlite Motel Podcast Dating Kinda Sucks Podcast Don’t forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph twitter.com/strippedbysia www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

26 Sep 20211h 6min

Because you all LOVE learning about dominatrices and the kink and fetish life, I just had to bring another one on this week! I am so excited to bring on Miss Quail Avara onto the show this week. She is a dominatrix hailing from Georgia, USA who I had the opportunity to connect with over a recent episode that was recorded previously. We speak about about virtual domming, busting myths about what we stereotypically know about doms, and at what point does domming cross the line. We also learn about what is expected out of a responsible dom and how it goes hand-in-hand with fetish and kink work. We also delightfully discuss how her and her “husboy” met (who I mention was her former slave!), how that relationship grew and what the past and current slave/dom dynamics work in her household. Last but not least, Quail doesn’t hold back on her hate for OnlyFans and expresses her love for AVN Stars. Amidst everything that’s been going on, it sounds like a great option if you haven’t diversified already! @cagedquail twitter.com/cagedquail stars.avn.com/cagedquail allthingsworn.com/profile/cagedquail Don’t forget to LIKE, RATE, SHARE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE! @strippedbysia @siasteph twitter.com/strippedbysia www.stephsia.com https://www.patreon.com/Strippedbysia

19 Sep 20211h 16min