EP10: Managing Grief in Midlife At Unexpected Times

“It’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay not to have a time limit on it. When the grief hits, it’s okay to grieve. It’s a very healthy emotion because it helps us move past the deep pits of sorrow and come to terms with the loss,” says Scott Asmar. In this episode, Scott reflects on his personal journey with loss, especially as he approaches the 10-year anniversary of his grandmother Ruby’s passing. This milestone serves as a reminder of the many loved ones he’s lost, including several family members who passed away between 2012 and 2014, leaving his family in a long period of mourning.

Scott opens up about the delayed grief he experienced, such as how the death of a friend from the 90s didn’t fully hit him until years later, sparked by the passing of singer Prince. Even with a background in psychology, Scott discovered firsthand that grief doesn’t follow a predictable timeline and can emerge in surprising ways.

Scott encourages listeners to give themselves permission to grieve without pressure, and he highlights the importance of keeping memories alive through stories, photos, and traditions, like the Armenian church’s Hoki Hankist, a prayer for souls at rest. He also shares a touching devotional from Pastor Rick Warren, reinforcing the idea that grief is not only natural but necessary. How do we find strength in the grieving process? Scott believes that by embracing grief, sharing it with loved ones or a higher power, and honoring those we’ve lost, we can move toward emotional healing and find comfort along the way.

Quotes

• “It’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay not to have a time limit on it. When the grief hits, it’s okay to grieve. It’s a very healthy emotion because it helps us move past the deep pits of sorrow and come to terms with the loss.” (06:52 | Scott Asmar)
• “To me, it’s important to keep everyone who has passed in my life alive through stories, pictures, and dedications. One thing I love about my Armenian church is that we have what’s called Hoke Hankist. Hoke means soul, and Hankist means rest. It’s a prayer for the souls at rest… That means so much to me because it’s a remembrance that they were here, that they had a life, and that they helped mold who I am today.” (07:34 | Scott Asmar)
• “It’s important not to forget the deceased, in my opinion, and pictures are worth a thousand words in keeping those memories alive. As Christians, we believe that the dead shall rise, and we shall see them again, so they’re not gone forever. It’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay to experience delayed grief. If you have delayed grief, you’re not going crazy; it’s just something that triggers it in you. Work through it, process it, and hold on to the memories and the laughter, for they shape you and help you become stronger.” (08:36 | Scott Asmar)
• “The Bible teaches that it is important to grieve over your losses, including disappointments, sins, the suffering in the world, and friends who are spiritually lost. While grief is painful, it is also a healthy and necessary process. Grief is a gift from God because it helps you navigate the tough seasons of life, allowing difficult transitions to transform you… Don’t carry the pain alone—share it with God and with a close friend. Grieving opens your heart to receive comfort from God. (10:53 | Scott Asmar)

Links

Connect with Scott Asmar:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scottasmar5/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm