#11 Feeling Safe When Trauma Hits

Feeling Safe When Trauma Hits

Many of us seem to have anxious feelings running through our bodies at the most undetermined time. Have you ever wondered where it comes from? Could it be your inner fire alarm, running in the background and ringing throughout your body? Perhaps the greatest stress you will ever face is the thought that you can't protect yourself from life itself.

Any trauma can create a confusing world for someone going through something distressing or disturbing. When we step into trauma, our feelings of safety become challenged. When something traumatic happens, it can replace feelings of safety in this world with a sense of fear and anxiety. The event can do this in a single moment such as a car accident, a fire, a death or an assault. Other times, the world goes from safe to unsafe over the course of time such as in the case of childhood emotional neglect, childhood abuse or domestic violence.

When a trauma does happen, it changes the story line to say that something bad could happen and we are therefore not free from harm any longer. In this instance, the thought that we are generally safe is replaced with a sense of fear of what could happen next? We go from living to existing. We now wander around the world waiting for the next thing to happen or pin to drop or the next incident to shock us. We live in a constant feeling of fear, not able to enjoy life anymore. Frantic, panicky, scared, worrying about all sorts of small details, ruminating to the point of panic. Our triggers become more frequent, the dangers become more real in your mind, and your mental health seems to struggle. Mentally you might find yourself going round in circles and just thinking yourself into distress and powerlessness.

An example of this might be someone who has been assaulted. Everyday, we might go places and do different things without a thought of other people roaming around us. Often we would go places without even being aware that others are close or around us, like in a grocery store or a mall. We make plans to see friends at a bar or go for dinner with no thought of the outing. We feel so confident that we will see our friends, have a good time and go home. However, when someone has been assaulted, they may become hyper vigilant to watching people around them, making sure they know where the exits are in the room, or keeping an eye on the time as that might also trigger even more fear. The thought that they will be safe when they go out has been replaced with the idea that they could be attacked. Therefore, if they go out or if someone sneaks up behind them without their knowing, they could jump, their heart rate may go up and they instantly feel that they aren't safe. Going out may cause huge anxiety as they no longer have that feeling of safety that allows them to enjoy their evening or think of other things in a positive way. So, how can someone move past some of these feelings of feeling unsafe? Is there anything that can be done to help them move through the world? Let’s go deeper and truly get curious.

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Transcription Cont.

We left off with the feelings of fear and retreating from life. Many things can happen when we feel unsafe, including not just that you feel danger at every corner, but also it becomes difficult to maintain friendships as you begin to retreat into the silence of fear and anxiety.

Safety is about feeling.......