1296 || what's really getting me through it

Here are some things that helped me survive lately:

Thinking of rest and joy as resistance.

Intentional rest and joy are essential to the whole thing. When I start to have a little shame spiral about feeling a little bit of joy or hope or when I start to feel guilty about needing a break or rest — I remind myself that some weirdo want’s me to feel that way so that I get tired and give up — and I try to let myself move (or not move) with a little more grace.

Reminding myself to slow down.

I have never not been in a rush. I sometimes notice I’m rushing for nothing only to realize my heart is racing and I’m breathing like I ran a marathon.

Plus, lately I’ve been cooking and baking more and that shit is dangerous (and devastating) if you mess up. So, slowing down is a good idea in general.

I’ve been doing a lot more “music + ambience” on youtube, and it’s been a game changer for my focus while working, writing, or cooking.

Allowing myself to feel shit as it comes up.

Basically, I’ve been crying a lot, panicking sometimes, and then fully ready to stress clean or stress cook or stress bake until I can muster up the energy to face life again — and instead of shaming myself about it and feeling worse, I’ve been trying to respond with patience and compassion instead.

And who would’ve thought? It helps.

Taking action + reclaiming a sense of control.

So when I’m feeling like I’m overwhelmed with the world or angry with the world, I remember that I’m not alone in that anger and the best place to put it is to use.

There are people already creating the future that we want. There are people who want the same things I do from humanity and they are all around me, all the time but I can’t see them because they’re busy doing shit to make it happen. The sooner I seek out the people already involved in the work, the sooner I can put a hand or two in it, as well.

And sure, I can’t do everything, but that sure as shit doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do anything.

And doing anything, starts with something.

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