726: Taking responsibility for your relationships, but how much?

I feel if an alien came to earth today and looked at media, whether the news headlines or social media, they’d think we must be near war. Now, with the literal news media who is paid to get readers, they know the value of drama, and if it bleeds, it leads. But with social media, most of what I see we are just inflicting upon ourselves. Somebody makes a benign post that may showcase a like or dislike or a viewpoint or opinion, and…the fight is on. The comments sections can turn into war zones. I try not to read them, as I just depress myself with the unnecessary and unwarranted conflict. But I feel like most all the conflict is people raising their hand to let us all know, “Hey, I’m wildly insecure and need to try and elevate my lacking self image by vehemently arguing how wrong you are if you put pineapple on your pizza.” What I find speaks confidence most is, curiosity. Let’s talk about it. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Feb 202511min

In my previous episode I talked with Fox TV personality, Kat Timpf about binary thinking. Right, wrong, black, and white. And our cultural propensity to take a differing opinion or view or belief someone else has, judge them completely for it, and reject them. Kat experiences this frequently when people find out she works for Fox. They label and judge her and distance themselves. Even though they could possibly agree on many other things. They may even in truth, like her. But since she’s labeled with the Fox emblem, they reject her. The thing is, I understand this. I’ve long struggled with the concept of grace. I get the idea, but giving someone grace for doing or representing something I feel may be harming them or someone else, feels really hard. I fear if I am gracious, it will seem like I am ok with what or who they are, and I may not be. So how do you address this? Let’s talk for a minute. Kat Timpf’s new book on this topic is I Used To Like You Until…:How Binary Thinking Divides Us. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Feb 202512min

My perspective is that we are the most divided culture ever right now. Every issue is a trigger for everyone and you are required to stand on one side or the other or be deemed negligent or ignorant. And if someone aligns with a differing side or perspective, you need to distance yourself from them. To me it feels like we’ve fallen into the most strict, religious culture ever. Everyone has their set of beliefs according to the religion of their perspective, and if you believe differently, you are judged and sentenced to crucifixion. I think it’s toxic and poisoning our society. So a book came across my desk from someone…I would not normally have on my show. But doing so, I feel, beautifully represented the point. Why is it a threat to sit and have a discussion with someone who may have differing values and perspectives? Who lives a different lifestyle? My guest is Kat Timpf. Kat is a writer, comedian, and libertarian commentator. She’s currently the co-panelist of “Gutfeld!” on Fox News weeknights at 10 p.m. and a Fox News analyst. She’s also the author of the New York Times bestseller "You Can’t Joke About That: Why Everything is Funny, Nothing is Sacred, and We’re All in This Together." Her new book is what got my attention, I Used To Like You Until…:How Binary Thinking Divides Us. Kat’s life and lifestyle couldn’t be further from my own. But I found our views on cultural division are very similar, and I was honored to sit and have this discussion with her. I think there is a lot for all of us to learn. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Feb 20251h 3min

Talking about a good life feels like speaking to success. What makes it up? And we generally say that we must define this for ourselves. Agreed. However, my guest has been studying this for a long, long time, and to have a good life he’s found it boils down to three buckets. Categories if you will. Jonathan Fields has come to be known as “the good life guy.” He has a wildly popular podcast called The Good Life Project. I’ve had Jonathan on my show twice and often reference his profile that looks at what makes us come alive in our work, which you can find at sparketype.com. This conversation happened years ago when I sat down with Jonathan just to dig into what he’s found really makes up a good life. He had written a book called The Good Life Project that really put him on the map. I also just dug into Jonathan himself and what got him to the point to embrace this movement and become the leader he’s become and is becoming to so many people pursuing a good life. I found the conversation incredibly intriguing and believe it will give you a lot to think about in regards to how you are living, loving and leading.  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Feb 20251h 7min

In my show with TJ Powers, talking through his book, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins, he lists out 20 activities to address all those brain chemicals, and I want to give it to you, whether you buy the book or not. If you can add just one to your day, you’ve at least done that to advocate for your mental well being and overall capacity. I’m thinking about looking at it every morning, then going through it as a checklist in the evening to see how I did. Let’s talk through it now. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Feb 202513min

In our culture today, the concept of “slowing down” has little attraction. We are enamored with speed. So instead of trying to sell “slowing down” let’s look at what the point of questioning our speed is. Imagine going to hike the Grand Canyon. Or another nearby attraction, Las Vegas. And imagine if your goal is speed. Do you want to just get through either of them as fast as you can? Or would you rather explore and experience what they have to offer? Now come back to our lives in general. Forget the idea of slowing down. I’m questioning our societal quest for tech and AI and travel to continually speed us up. What is the point? Is it working? Are you getting happier as a result? Let’s talk. My muse for this discussion is from my recent conversation with TJ Powers and the message in his new book, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. Find TJ on Instagram @tjpower. In our culture today, the concept of “slowing down” has little attraction. We are enamored with speed. So instead of trying to sell “slowing down” let’s look at what the point of questioning our speed is. Imagine going to hike the Grand Canyon. Or another nearby attraction, Las Vegas. And imagine if your goal is speed. Do you want to just get through either of them as fast as you can? Or would you rather explore and experience what they have to offer? Now come back to our lives in general. Forget the idea of slowing down. I’m questioning our societal quest for tech and AI and travel to continually speed us up. What is the point? Is it working? Are you getting happier as a result? Let’s talk. My muse for this discussion is from my recent conversation with TJ Powers and the message in his new book, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. Find TJ on Instagram @tjpower. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Feb 202511min

I’m a very visual guy, so I often think of visual analogies to help me better conceptualize a concept. So imagine you are watching a video tape of yourself, sped up to show all your activities for a day. With special attention on how much time you are looking at screens and what you are looking at. How many times do you look at your phone? How many times on your computer are you viewing social media or entertainment or even just random information or news updates? Let’s call it non-productive viewing. Do you resemble a contemplative, thoughtful, focused person? Or an addicted squirrel? I’m going to bet you are far more squirrel-like than you’d expect. I believe I am, and my recent talk with TJ Powers about how we build up and deplete our brain chemicals really has me considering this. Let’s talk through it a bit. TJ Powers’ new book is my muse, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. Find him on Instagram @tjpower. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Feb 202512min

Sometimes an analogy comes along that just clicks. It takes information you may have heard before and helps drive it home. That is what happened with my guest in this show regarding the brain chemicals that fuel our drive and motive. TJ POWER is a neuroscientist and innovator in the area of mental health. His work focuses on providing easy-to-adopt, scientifically backed teachings that empower people to take action towards healthier lifestyles. He has a really big following and when I got his book, I understood why. The book is, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins, and in it, TJs explanations helped me see how I am increasing or depleting the brain chemicals I rely on to do the important work in my life. Most of us have heard much about dopamine, but do we really understand how we increase and decrease it? Then also, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Now the point isn’t to understand each one fluently, but to understand how they help us and what we are doing in our everyday lives that help or hurt them. I was most interested in what I learned about how I’m depleting some of these chemicals early in the day, and then later it feels like I’m lacking drive and motivation. I trust in listening to this conversation, you will be able to understand what these chemicals do for us and like me, now understand how to far better leverage them to do the things you truly want to do. You can find TJ Powers on Instagram @tjpower. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Feb 20251h 21min