36: Shame

36: Shame

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss the topic of shame; the greatest obstacle/barrier to healing relationships after betrayal. It is crucial that a betraying partner be accountable for his/her betrayal, shame doesn’t accomplish that. In fact, shame makes healing much harder, perhaps impossible. What accompanies shame most often is the feeling of hopelessness, because it tells you that this (what you have done) is who you have always been and always will be. Rather than conceptualizing your betrayal as behavior that caused trauma to your intimate partner (and perhaps others as well), shame frames the betrayal as an integral part of your identity. Most people who feel that at their core they are bad will not believe that they are worthy of forgiveness and healing. While humility pushes you to change and become a better person, shame paralyzes and prevents you from growing and healing. It disables you, blocking your capacity to take the necessary steps to heal yourself or your relationship. Relational healing requires the ability to be relational and present. Shame does the opposite; it pushes you away from your spouse at precisely the moment you should be trying to rebuild your connection. If shame is keeping you or your relationship stuck, please listen to this episode.

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Avsnitt(105)

104. Neuro-Difference, Betrayal Trauma, and Healing

104. Neuro-Difference, Betrayal Trauma, and Healing

In this episode, Marnie speaks with Candice Christiansen about navigating betrayal trauma through the lens of neuro-difference, an incredibly important topic we have not focused on before on the Helpi...

5 Juni 52min

103. Consequences with Ned Fulmer

103. Consequences with Ned Fulmer

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Ned Fulmer, YouTuber, producer, content creator, and online personality, for a deeply honest conversation about the consequen...

28 Apr 46min

102. Women Betray Too

102. Women Betray Too

In this episode, Marnie talks with Patty, a female betrayer, and Judith Nisenson, a betrayal trauma coach, to confront the often-ignored reality that women betray too. They dive deep into the unique p...

27 Mars 1h 9min

101. Beyond Talk Therapy: Life-Changing, Somatic Self-Care Practices With Gemini Adams

101. Beyond Talk Therapy: Life-Changing, Somatic Self-Care Practices With Gemini Adams

In this episode, Marnie welcomes back her friend and longtime collaborator, Gemini Adams, a renowned somatic practitioner. Together, they explore a missing piece of the healing journey that many coupl...

17 Mars 35min

100. One Hundred Episodes of Hope

100. One Hundred Episodes of Hope

In this landmark 100th episode of Helping Couples Heal, we take a moment to pause and reflect on the journey that brought us here. Healing from betrayal is often a lonely, exhausting path, but for 100...

4 Mars 30min

99. The Other Side of Betrayal: The Ten Core Wounds of The One Who Betrayed

99. The Other Side of Betrayal: The Ten Core Wounds of The One Who Betrayed

In December, I released a podcast called The Ten Core Wounds of Betrayal, which explored the deep and lasting wounds experienced by betrayed partners. In this follow-up episode, we turn toward the oth...

10 Feb 21min

98. The Long Road Back: One Couple's Journey Through Betrayal

98. The Long Road Back: One Couple's Journey Through Betrayal

In this episode, Marnie sits down with Scott and Laura, a couple who courageously share their journey of healing after betrayal. What followed Scott’s infidelity was not a quick fix or a straight path...

22 Jan 55min

97. Navigating Betrayal Anger with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck

97. Navigating Betrayal Anger with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, a therapist, trauma survivor, and author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, an...

13 Jan 53min

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