16: Enneagram Children Types 1-4

Today I will be chatting about some of the behaviors of the enneagram children. Types 1-4 is on this episode.

Each child has varying personalities just like adults do. I don't believe children's enneagram types set in fully until 4-5 depending on their nature and nature. Using these two episodes as guides I hope they help you identify your children's enneagram type to parent them the way they need to be parented.

1-Rational Child: They can be seen as the model child. These children have a strong sense of right and wrong. They have been known to correct others around them and compare themselves to others (think Hermione Granger the first time you meet her.) They might have a hard time why others would do things differently. They do not want to be seen as bad or wrong. They may shy away from things they will not excel at and only do things they will do perfectly. They are ones that naturally want to keep things clean and orderly. They do not like to make mistakes at all and things better be well done. They might be seen as little adults.

If you have a one child. Let them know mistakes are normal. Don't correct them in front of others.

2-Compassionate Child: They love to give. The might be seen as people pleasers. They will have close friends but might give to others and have no boundaries to feel love from others. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They might seem sad because they don't understand how they lovable they are. When receiving praise for their giving they begin to give more, much like a teacher's pet. They are very independent because they don't want to be a burden on others. They are drawn to other people and they might get drawn into other's feelings and drama. Their feelings can get hurt easily.

If you have a two child. Don't pry too much into their feelings, they struggle to know their own feelings. Make sure you separate your personal feelings from them.

3-Confident Child: They may not always seem confident but they are able to put on a confident façade. They are high performance achievement machines. They believe they are loved because of what they do. They might not know what they want because they will meet the standards around them. They might get praised heavily when excelling and keep up with it. They desire to be praised. They wake up with a plan. They are socially aware of where to sit in school groups. They are very motivated, quick and efficient. They like organized but not to be calm like a one but for appearance. They might be seen as braggy but they are trying to connect to others. They love to be noticed.

If you have a three child if they fail, be there to know they are still loved. Notice what they do the big and little things.

4-Artistic Child: Creative and romantic child. They might feel different and misunderstood. They get their feelings hurt easily and spend a lot of time alone in their own space to heal. They can seem approachable and unavailable at the same time. They want to stand but deeply desire to belong. They want people to get them and might use eccentric ways to communicate. They try to stand out and fit in at the same time. I watched Little Fires Everywhere, Izzy is a type four and a great example of a teen trying to understand your child. Type fours often use the "what if..." scenarios and process what to do before and after socializing. They will have depression type qualities. It might not be depression keep an eye on how they are socializing and depression. They like to sit in sadness. They get overwhelmed by their deep feelings.

If you have a type 4 child remind them that you are trying to see them. Love them no matter what.

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