Day #1 - The Bar Stories

Story #1 Clean her tongue. I used to be a bar manager. One of my youngest bartenders notices a guy slobbering all over some girl...I mean really cleaning each other's tongues. Dude walks up to the bar and orders a drink. Young bartender says to him" Hey. I wouldn't be making out with that girl if I were you...". Douchebag customers says"frick you, don't tell ME what to fricking do!" What the douchebag customer didn't know was that the girl he was making out with had just sucked off the bartenders friend in the parking lot...MINUTES before. He might have known, it may have been part of their plan. Hence why he was cleaning her tongue like a mother lion. Story #2 Nine-Quarter Nipple Band. I'm not a bartender but I saw something pretty crazy at a dive bar once. There was a trio of drunk Harley-type women at the next table. We started talking and drinking together and eventually one of these chicks old men suggested that the "ladies" have a big nipple contest. Now I personally have never attended such a contest so I assumed that what was going to be measured was the areola. I was mistaken. The actual length of the nip itself was what this contest was about. The unit of measurement for this contest was a stack of quarters. Boobs were taken out, nips were compared, three quarters. four quarters,ect. Suddenly I saw a sight that I can never unsee the winner of this contest-NINE quarters long! They were like tiny penii! The sight sobered me up and I never want to see another big nipple contest as long as I live. Although I think Nine-Quarter Nipple should be the name of a band.