353 - She Says She Doesn't Need A Man?

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What Women Mean When They Say “I Don’t Need A Man”

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Hi Everyone Sandman Here,

This video is brought to you by a donation from Robert. He didn't give me a topic so I wanted to cover an article called What Women Mean When They Say “I Don’t Need A Man” written by Paula Gallagher for Evie Magazine. I'll now read parts of the article that I believe to be important and then share my thoughts. So here goes and I quote: "I don’t NEED a man. I also don’t NEED to eat bacon or drink red wine or wear mascara. But I enjoy them, and they make my life better. Historically, women needed men to provide for them and to protect them. Up through the 1800s in Western Civilization, the great majority of women of the gentlemanly class and higher were economically pressured to marry to provide a roof over their head and to put food on their table. But nowadays we women can get PhDs and fulltime, well-paying jobs. We can buy our own food and pay our own rent. We’re not usually being hunted by wild animal. We can travel the world on our own. If we want to have children, we don’t have to have a relationship with a man — we can just get a sperm donor or have a one-night hookup or adopt a baby. So yes, “I don’t need a man” seems like a completely true statement. But “I don’t need a man” has been overexpanded to take on more (and different) meanings. It’s become a mantra of mainstream feminist ideology. For other women, it’s a coping mechanism or superficial slogan that doesn’t really mean what it says.

Women really don’t need men to live fulfilled lives. Or so we’re told... Human beings have needs like food, water, air, meaning, a sense of safety, sleep, health, etc. Oh, and love. Psychotherapist Katherine Schafler points out a kind of shame that young women express to her in her practice. These women say, “I know I should be happy alone, but I’m just not. I think about getting married and starting a family a lot — all the time actually. I know, I know, it’s psycho...I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Mainstream feminism has pathologized the basic human need for love, intimacy, and connection. Women now feel ashamed for their natural, primal desire for a husband and children. They feel guilty over their need for meaningful love. Many women throwing around the statement “I don’t need a man” really mean something else. When we tell ourselves we don’t need relationships lying to ourselves and repressing our emotions and our needs are never healthy coping mechanisms. Women throw around reasons they are single like I'm focusing on self-improvement. I value my freedom more or I don't have to work around a man's schedule. Paula says that she doesn't need a man but wants a man. Her husband in particular. She ends her article saying women shouldn't feel shamed for wanting a man. I'll discuss her thoughts in a moment but let me first tell everyone about today's sponsor Me The Sandman:

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