97. Mahyan’s Story: the beautiful-horrible

Madeleine says: “Until Mahyan died I was more familiar with birth than death and I noticed how often my brain produced images of my heart that looked more like the jagged edges of a torn placenta than the shattered yet life giving organ that would now pound and appear to beat out of time at random moments for years to come. After Mahyan died I felt bereft; physically aching for loss of my son only to discover fear had also come along for the ride as I realized the world where children were born, loved and raised to adulthood was no longer certain. In what world had I previously felt this guarantee? Death and the shattering of hearts and certainty is a transformative thing right? Gently tending to questions such as these has also transformed me; leaning greatly on the incredible and loving community around me, Mahyan's death has also brought connection; rivers of tears have become well journeyed roads where those around me have nurtured, fed and sung to me and my family again and again. Close friends and colleagues have walked alongside and with my pain, shared stories and memories of Mahyan through many years and I am transformed again as I notice my heart has a steadier pace, a peace amidst this mountain of grief.” Madeleine is a Mother and bereaved parent re-membering what it is to trust in life and death. Through her work at the intersection of maternal and infant health, Madeleine creates spaces for listening and the sharing of stories through postnatal and breastfeeding Wananga (workshops). She is passionate about community and the sharing of music, laughter, tears and food. She no longer expects to come out the other side of grief, though feels much is to be gained through the showing up with kindness to our own experiences. Please follow The Death Dialogues Project and learn more about this project at www.deathdialogues.net where you will find links to podcast platforms and our social media. Instagram is our fave social media home @deathdialoguesproject