117 How To Engage Someone's Story Part 1
Engaging another person's story is a skill that can be learned! Over the course of the next four episodes, I will explain how to engage another person's story well. Today, I discuss the first two principles of effective story engagement. Principle 1: Attunement is more important than engaging the story brilliantly. Principle 2: Kindness will take you further than skill. Support the podcast
20 Juni 202229min
116 Restorative Practices: How to Care for Our Hearts and Bodies in the Wake of Trauma with John Eldredge
John Eldredge joins me today to talk about how to care for our hearts and bodies in the wake of trauma. Topics include how to navigate life when you feel deeply disappointed by God, how to access the mothering of God, and why it's so important to get a piece of paper and write down our losses so that we might grieve them. Today's episodes is based on John's new book "Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul In These Turbulent Times." Support the podcast
6 Juni 202239min
115 Why It's So Important To Tell Your Story To An Attuned Listener with Curt Thompson
I am joined today by Christian neuroscientist Curt Thompson. In this vulnerable conversation, Curt and I talk about: why our brains change when we share our story with another human being who is attuned to us, why engaging your story is the single best way to become a better parent, and why it's so important to pay attention to the younger parts of ourselves. Support the podcast
23 Maj 202256min
114 Making Sense of Your Story: Why It's Necessary To Name Intentionality Part 2
This is part 2 of a discussion on the necessity of naming intentional harm. You can't heal until your brain has constructed an accurate and coherent autobiographical narrative of your life. Today I introduce the idea of antisocial empathy, which is a very important concept from David Schnarch's book Brain Talk. I also talk about how to heal when traumatic mind-mapping results in gaps in your memory. Support the podcast
9 Maj 202226min
113 Making Sense of Your Story: Why It's Necessary to Name Intentionality Part 1
Naming intentionality matters because if you are unsure about whether or not the other person meant to hurt you, it will be very difficult for you to heal from your wounds. This is because you can't heal until your brain has constructed an accurate and coherent autobiographical narrative of your life: the narrative has to be true and it has to make sense. Drawing from David Schnarch's book Brain Talk, I explain two important concepts: mind-mapping and traumatic mind-mapping. Mind-mapping refers to your ability to map out the thoughts and feelings of another person. Traumatic mind-mapping is a collapse of your brain's normal mind mapping abilities that occurs when you are mind-mapping someone and what you see is terrible. Support the podcast
25 Apr 202223min
112 The Power of Compassion and Curiosity Toward Ourselves with Aundi Kolber
I am joined today by Aundi Kolber, the author of Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode — and into a Life of Connection and Joy. We discuss the importance of paying attention to what is happening inside your body, as well as having a posture of compassion and curiosity toward your internal experience. We often respond to our life experiences by "trying harder." Aundi invites us into the very counter-cultural practice of trying softer. Support the podcast
11 Apr 202248min
111 Redeeming Heartache: How Goodness Can Come Out Of Trauma
Bonus episode! Cathy Loerzel and I dive into why it's crucial to take your wounds seriously, and how your wounds lead to the "orphan experience," "stranger experience," and/or "widow experience." We also talk about what redemption looks like for each of these three types of wounding. Jesus takes our experiences of trauma and redeems them. That is, God creates glory, meaning and calling out of the very things that were designed to hurt us. If you want to better understand what redemption can look like for you, Cathy and I will be co-leading a live Redeeming Heartache event on May 21, 2022, in Fort Collins, CO. You can sign up here. Support the podcast
8 Apr 202240min
110 How Do You Move Through Past Trauma?
Jerry Sittser is the author of A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss. He is no stranger to trauma. Jerry and I cover the following topics in this episode: our tendency to try to muscle our way through pain; how adversity in our present life invites us to return to our past story; and how to keep going when facing sadness, anger, exhaustion, and longing. Support the podcast
28 Mars 20221h 1min
