The Daily Dad3 Dec 2019

Epithets for Your Kid

One of the most interesting passages in Marcus Aurelius is this one:

Epithets for yourself: Upright. Modest. Straightforward. Sane. Cooperative. Try not to exchange for others.

These were essentially the words he wanted to live by—his principles expressed in the fewest syllables possible. At DailyStoic.com we’ve spent the last couple years talking about how important it is to figure out what these epithets are and to make sure we are living by them.

But here is another way to look at. What if as a father you sat down—ideally with your co-parent—and fleshed out what those words mean for each of your children too? As in what kind of kid are you trying to raise? What are the watchwords that you are attempting to move them towards with your parenting?

Some obvious ones:

Kind.

Loyal.

Moral.

Honest.

And maybe some more specific ones to help them succeed in the world

Creative.

Bilingual.

Hard-working.

A lifelong learner.

Maybe to some dads it’s important for their kids to be athletic. Another, a reader. Others still that their kids live a life of service. There is a lot of room here for choice and most of the answers are right. But if you don’t know what you’re aiming for, how can you expect to hit a target? How do you know you’re not accidentally teaching them to exchange one epithet for another?

The truth is you can’t. So get writing.

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