581 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Well if you aren't my mommy then who are you? Tommy spent the weekend in NYC with his close celebrity friends (no big deal) and shares his love for the great big ol' apple (is that the expression?). We revisit Tom's mom's obsession with everything Wu-Tang. Christina fixates on why she routinely tortures herself with caffeine and toothbrushes, while Tom does the same with his fingers. We discuss our desire for a psychologist to analyze comedic podcasters, play some of our new faves in REAL TALK, and finally introduce you to Christina's father with some primo audio! Be Her! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 15min

Bring the muthafuckin Ruckus! Tom and Christina drop science on you so open up your journals and take notes! We begin with some friendly banter regarding our different tastes in music to warm your ears. Then the moment you've all been waiting for arrives - Tom talks about his trip with Top Dog which includes audio immediately after Top Dog shit his pants. It's a special moment for Tom and all of our little mommies. We read a listener email, discuss our neighbor's new sex friend, talk about a new documentary about Where The Dudes are At, Real Talk about gypsies and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 8min

You're the man now, dawg! Tommy and Tina talk about their recent travels and how lame it is to watch old dudes hit on young girls by trying to sound like they're young too. The lesson: act your age or better yet - just do you, dawg. Christina admits to knowing nothing about current affairs and especially about Kennebunkport. The real treat here is Top Dog gives gold. He talks farts, brown, toilet paper, and how he used to pick up chicks. Guys, you're going to want to take notes cause you're about to start getting laid way more. Bankers beware! And the official Podcast T-shirt makes its debut! Wipe Down! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 11min

And what is your name, little mommy? Tommy and Tina talk about names that must be difficult to live with, most of which are not suitable for print. The myth that West Coast "dry heat" is tolerable and not as bad as humid heat is addressed with passion! We revisit the legacy of Michael Jackson - greatest entertainer who also definitely molested kids and we share audio about him that states that Michael also "did some dancing." We Fill It Up and Seal It Shut with super heroes and Sci-Fi characters, we explore why in the world softcore porn exits and we finish things off with more Top Dog audio! Set it off in this muthafucka!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 16min

Happy Birthday, Lady America! Today Mommy United States pushed our country out of her HOO-hole! Set a sparkler on fire to celebrate! We happily welcome Ari "Bear Jew" Shaffir into the Mommy Dome. We talk exercise and how much we like/don't like doing it, embarassing moments on stage, how censoring curse words from your children is fucking stupid and also how adults who are offended by cursing are cunts. An impromptu Dick Detectives comes out of nowhere! Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut athletes addition! We tease the return of Casey "Where The Dudes At?" and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 28min

Tommy and Tina announce a big plan for international shows! Get ready, Africa! They talk Top Dog as well as Tom's sister and mother complete with tons of impressions - hold on to your nuts, fans of impressions! Dental Update galore with your listener emails including one that includes a breakthrough innovation (that will surely earn him billions)! We talk about sober braggers - who never shut up about their soberness - smoke some crack already, will ya?!? AND the moment you've all been waiting for, will we finally find the answer to the question that philosphers have been asking for YEARS - Where The Dudes At? Casey joins us for a very emotional conversation. Would You Rather makes a return! Grab some tissues and rejoice in your mommyhood!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 17min

The Mommies are back from MIA! We recap our trip which included a fun sitdown with Top Dog and Charo (audio included)! One of the greatest documentary films of all time that is near and dear to our hearts, Stevie, is discussed, complete with incredible audio selects. Watch out for Snake! Stevie, whom the documentary is based on is also a piece of shit. This leads us to a conversation about molestors including former PSU coach, Jerry Sandusky. We conclude that nobody would care if all child molestors were set on fire! Get your mom on! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 20161h 1min

Rejoice! Our neighbor wasn't cooking for the hour in which we recorded this show! We discuss the horror that is the sound of an old man climaxing (WARNING: audio example is included!). We talk about the world's greatest sport - competitive eating! How many episodes of Your Mom's House can you fit in your stomach!?! Real Talk - Virgin Diaries! Ginger talk is back! Are you ready for some Red? A special Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut and so much more! Crunchy Black, stay up!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Okt 201656min