Healing Attachment Wounds with Elizabeth Ferreira

We all want great relationships - ones that are fulfilling, loving, stable, and fun. This is the first of two episodes focused on becoming a 'great relater.' Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on understanding our individual attachment style, and how we can work through our personal material.  The Relationships Workshop: Join Rick for his online relationship workshop that will teach you how to have more fulfilling, effective, and joyful relationships than ever before. Follow the link to learn more, and podcast listeners can enter code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price!  Key Topics: 0:25: Staying content while  striving for achievement.  4:00: Information on the relationship workshop.  6:20: Who helps you feel enlarged?  7:55: Rick makes fun of Forrest…and managing different levels of standard.  9:00: Building a good relator. 10:15: Attachment theory 17:00: Getting less attached to our attachment style.  19:15: Insecure attachment styles.  23:00: What issues does anxious attachment create? 26:00: A relationship between anxious and avoidant.  29:00: Skills for relating with an anxious person.  32:00: Finding optimal distance.  35:30: Working through a dreaded experience.  39:30: Exposure and blame.  From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Sponsors:  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Use code beingwell to let them know you came from us.  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Aug 202051min

In the second episode related to the pitfalls of self-help, we explore how individuals and environments can manipulate others by making them feel like something is wrong with them.  This is a self-help podcast. And there's a lot to like about self-help! But it has it's issues as well. Today we're exploring our exploration of those issues by focusing on painful forms of comparison and the natural vs. supernatural frame. Key Topics: 2:45: Being goal directed vs. self-acceptance.  6:50: Exploitative practices and the fragile psyche.  10:20: Relating to “problems” in healthy ways.  14:20: Comparison and creating a sense of lack.  16:30: Identifying good teachers and communities. 21:30: Comparison. 24:00: Separating means and ends.  26:00: How to deal with comparison.  30:30: How much do we actually control? 33:00: The Secret, and the natural vs. supernatural frames.  39:15: Cheapening the truly transcendent.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  From our Sponsors  Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Juli 202051min

Dr. Stephen Porges joins Rick and Forrest to explore his Polyvagal Theory, which explains how we can use the systems of the body to completely change our relationship with stress.  About Our Guest: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University and Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina. In 1994 he proposed the Polyvagal Theory, a theory that links the evolution of the nervous system to social behavior and emphasizes the importance of physiological states in our psychological experiences. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 1:45: Summary of Polyvagal Theory. 6:00: Evolutionary neuro-biology: the three systems of the body. 15:15: The adaptive nature of the three systems. 19:45: Shutdown, trauma, and constructing a narrative.  23:00: Challenges of COVID to the social engagement system 28:15: How to intervene in the body. 33:00: Being stuck with problematic people. 35:30: Using the breath and staying calm. 38:00: Co-regulation 42:00: A message to your younger self.  From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price! From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Sponsors: Want fresh, delicious, simple dinners delivered right to your doorstep? Check out HelloFresh, America’s #1 meal kit, and use code beingwell90 to get $90 off including free shipping!  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Juli 202052min

Do self-help environments force us into inauthentic happiness? And how can we move away from the false front, and into more authentic expression? This is the first of a series of episodes dedicated to some of the self-help community's pitfalls.  This is a self-help podcast. And there's a lot to like about self-help! But it has it's issues as well. Today we're exploring one of them: toxic positivity and forced happiness. New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Key Topics: 3:00: Rick’s personal experience inside the personal development world.  8:00: Things that tend to limit abuses of power.  10:00: The democratization of self-help, and related pitfalls.  18:00: Act, scared self, and true being.  21:00: Where does toxic positivity appear? 26:00: The importance of authenticity. 29:30: The false front.  32:30: Encouraging other people to be fully authentic.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. From Dr. Hanson:  Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price! The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Juli 202046min

We're halfway through a very strange year, and it's a good time to take stock, check in with ourselves, and establish some new commitments – even if they’re as simple as being kind to ourselves.  One way we can reclaim our experience of agency is by finding where we do still have influence over our outcomes. And that’s what we’ll be exploring today: how to start anew under the circumstances we find ourselves in.  New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Key Topics: 3:45: Hope and disappointment.  7:30: Reckoning, repentance, and renewal.  11:00: Controlling what you can.  14:00: Coping with self-criticism and shame.  18:30: How to approach the future.  20:45: Building key habits.  24:00: Changing our identity in order to change our behavior.  26:30: Forrest's changing identity - moving into empathy.  29:30: Using key phrases.  31:00: Rick's changing identity - feeling like a good person. 34:00: Realistic optimism.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price! From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Juli 202044min

Is it possible to "do no harm," and should we even try? Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore what it means to do no harm, and the inner resources that allow us to do as little as possible. New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Key Topics: 1:10: Reckoning and repenting in this moment.  4:45: What does it mean to truly do no harm? 6:45: How does doing no harm help us “be well?” 11:30: Reasons to take a collective perspective.  16:15: Grappling with the reality of causing harm.  19:00: The importance of repair. 22:30: Extending repair to yourself.  29:30: Are there necessary harms? 33:00: Resources that allow us to do less harm.  40:30: What happens when we stop being a danger to others? Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price! From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Juni 202047min

What can we do to combat, unlearn, and ultimately unburden ourselves from the influence of systemic structures of racism - both out in the world and inside of ourselves? About Our Guest: Erin is the CEO, principal coach, and founder of Community Equity Partners, and the senior advisor at the Equity Lab. Erin works with educational, non-profit, government, and tech organizations that are committed to creating equitable and inclusive practices.  Key Topics: 1:10: Finding hope and awakening in the moment. 6:30: "Unburdening" ourselves.  9:15: Overt vs. covert structures and systems of racism.  16:15: Key moments that lead to waking to systemic racism.   23:30: A message to your younger self.  Sponsors: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price! From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Juni 202029min

What is intergenerational trauma, how does it influence our lives today, and what can we do to heal and persevere when things get tough? The events of the past few weeks have cast the importance of healing the wounds of the past into stark relief. Today we’re exploring how the traumatic past, including that handed down through the generations, can influence our lives today.  About Our Guest: Dr. Sherri Taylor is an assistant professor of somatic psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies, and also teaches in the clinical psychology doctoral program at The Wright Institute.  Sponsor Message: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price! From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 4:10: What is intergenerational trauma? 7:30: Adaptive strategies for coping with trauma. 12:30: The primacy of the body.  15:15: Reclaiming comfort in your body.  20:45: Sensorymotor psychotherapy 22:30: Being with grief.  26:15: How to keep going when this process gets hard.  Check out my new website here! Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Juni 202039min