Healing Attachment Wounds with Elizabeth Ferreira

Healing Attachment Wounds with Elizabeth Ferreira

Attachment wounds are emotional injuries that develop based on painful experiences with those we care about. These experiences create a kind of blueprint we carry around for how relationships work, and when that internal model is based on fear and pain, it's hard for our relationships to thrive. Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to help us understand how we can heal old wounds and develop more secure forms of relating. Elizabeth and Forrest explore how early experiences shape our relationships, with a particular focus on a common paradox: deeply wanting connection while simultaneously fearing intimacy. They discuss fearful attachment, how Elizabeth approaches working with attachment wounds in clinical practice, complex PTSD, self-abandonment, facing our dreaded experience, setting healthy boundaries, and navigating relationships where fearful attachment patterns are present. About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Elizabeth’s personal experience of fearful attachment 7:40: Working with a therapist to heal attachment 11:55: Elizabeth’s experience learning to create boundaries 21:35: Internal Family Systems, and how to dialog with our parts 27:15: Working with our protective part, and self-criticism 31:00: Dialoguing with our inner child without a therapist 38:15: Healthy anger, grief, and patience 42:25: What helped Elizabeth be vulnerable in relating to Forrest 53:10: Disorganized moments, identifying needs, and taking in the good 1:00:20: Intent, impact, and reasonable limits 1:05:20: Becoming your own secure attachment figure, and healing in community 1:09:10: Recap I am now writing on Subståack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ep. 31: Motivation Without Attachment

Ep. 31: Motivation Without Attachment

On this episode, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest begin the strength of Motivation with an episode that explores how we can pursue our goals with passion and purpose, without becoming painfully attached to them. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:20: Why are liking and wanting different? 4:45: What causes us to tip from liking into wanting? 8:25: If liking is good and wanting is bad, why is it so easy to tip into wanting? 12:30: Forrest’s experience with video games. 16:45: Addiction and moments of lucidity. 19:10: Identifying wanting through drivenness. 21:00: Things that pull us into wanting. 24:30: How can we stay in liking? 29:00: The danger of auto-wanting. 30:45: Delusional desire. 32:45: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Aug 201834min

Ep. 30: 7 Ways Past Anger

Ep. 30: 7 Ways Past Anger

Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest conclude the strength of Calm with an episode dedicated to exploring seven ways we can work with anger skillfully. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:35: Understanding the costs of anger 3:05: Never speaking or acting from anger 6:15: Reducing the priming for our anger 7:00: Reacting in proportion 10:00: Avoiding the habit of irritability 14:20: The tendency of fault-finding 16:30: The pitfalls of various kinds of talent 18:10: The story of the two monks 21:30: Know our near-enemies 24:30: The biology of slowing down 29:50: Walking away from excessive righteousness 33:00: Moral outrage in society 37:20: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Aug 201840min

Ep. 29: Injustice and Anger

Ep. 29: Injustice and Anger

Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest talk about managing one of our most difficult emotions: anger. Specifically, they focus on how we can distinguish between skillful and unskillful anger, particularly relating to issues of social justice. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:15: The physical costs of anger. 3:40: The interpersonal costs of anger. 5:15: How can we remove the costs of anger without turning into a doormat? 11:00: Finding the line between skillful and unskillful anger. 18:00: Using anger to find our deeper wants and needs. 19:45: What tends to lie under anger? 24:45: Tribal anger and social justice 29:50: The importance of saying “I’m sorry.” 31:50: Tribal leaders and the value of mobilizing anger. 33:55: Outraged vs. enraged 35:45: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Juli 201839min

Ep. 28: How to Feel Safe

Ep. 28: How to Feel Safe

Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest discuss how we can fight back against fear and learn to feel safer. They explore ways to reduce anxiety, identify resources, and deal with the real challenges of life. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:30: What causes fear? 2:30: Feeling reasonable safety. 7:15: Anxiety in the body. 9:00: Identifying the resources we have to fight threats. 12:30: How can we feel safer during REAL threats? 14:25: The importance of growing resting-state resources. 16:25: Three ways to deal with immediate threats. 20:00: Ways to approach the fear of truly dreadful things. 24:55: Reducing steady-state anxiety. 27:50: Dealing with anticipatory dread. 34:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Juli 201837min

Ep. 27: Avoiding Needless Fear

Ep. 27: Avoiding Needless Fear

Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest discuss how to manage and reduce a particular kind of fear: paper tiger paranoia. This fear is characterized by needless anxiety that comes from the brain’s creation of imaginary threats. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:00: What does “paper tiger paranoia” mean? 3:25: How do “tigers” appear in the modern day? 4:45: Why paper tigers crowd out real ones. 6:20: Hidden costs of paper tiger paranoia. 8:20: The insidiousness of fear. 11:00: Recognizing sources of needless anxiety. 17:45: Fighting back against fear. 20:30: Fear, agency, and acceptance. 23:30: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Juli 201826min

Ep. 26: Use Calm to Fight Stress

Ep. 26: Use Calm to Fight Stress

Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new series of episodes exploring the strength of Calm. Particularly, they focus on how we can learn to activate the calming wing of the nervous system to fight back against stress. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:30: Why is calm an important inner strength? 3:20: The dangers of being hijacked by fear. 7:05: The biological basis of calm. 11:05: Modern culture and the sympathetic nervous system. 12:30: Understanding your needs. 15:15: Developing a wide range of response. 17:20: The ease of being driven from the green zone. 19:20: Ways to calm down. 23:00: State calm vs. trait calm. 28:00: The importance of tranquility. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Juli 201832min

Ep. 25: How to Feel "Like a Good Person"

Ep. 25: How to Feel "Like a Good Person"

It's often surprisingly hard to feel like a good person...even if we are one! Dr. Hanson and Forrest wrap up the strength of Confidence by exploring how we can authentically feel like a good person from the top-down and the bottom-up. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:30: What is “feeling like a good person?” 3:00: Why is it hard to feel like a good person? 6:00: Comparing part of our lives to all of another’s. 7:00: Why is it good to feel like a good person? 11:00: Ways to grow the feeling of being a good person. 17:00: Top-down vs. bottom-up 20:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Juli 201822min

Ep. 24: Managing Your Inner Critic

Ep. 24: Managing Your Inner Critic

There are two “characters” we all have inside our minds: an inner critic and an inner nurturer. Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on how we can manage our inner critic while building up a strong inner nurturer. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:40: What is an inner critic and an inner nurturer? 2:15: Do we have these voices in balance? 4:30: 3 things we can do to limit the influence of the inner critic. 7:55: Balancing too much and too little criticism. 10:00: What value can we take from the inner critic? 11:50: The experience of a child. 14:15: Building up your inner nurturer. 17:20: What the inner nurturer feels like. 19:00: How we feel inside vs. how we act towards others. 20:30: How to stop the inner critic before it gets going. 24:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Juni 201826min

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