20230913 - Relaxing Body Scan

Some tips and tricks on how to deal with the inner critic, that voice inside that criticise us and makes us feel bad. Step one - Recognise that it is here Feelings of shame and guilt are good clues that it would be useful to take a closer look at what is going on inside. Listen to what the message is behind the feelings, often we only feel the emotion and don’t “hear” the voice until we start listening. What does it say? What is the message? Step two - Dis-identify We are often so identified with our inner critic that we can’t tell ourselves appart from it. If you hear yourself say or think things that put you down or indicate that you are not good enough, it’s likely that you have left the steering wheel to the critic. Fill in the blanks: “I should be more _”, “I’m too _”, “I’m not _ enough”. What you need to do then is place the voice outside of yourself and reframe them as you-statements: “You should be more_”, “You’re too _”, “You’re not _ enough”. Place the critic somewhere in the room, for example straight in front of you. It’s likely that you will have more inner space, just by doing this. Step tree - Disengage When we are engaged with this voice we are giving it our energy, and thus we give it power over us. Engaging with it means listening to, believing, arguing, negotiating or fighting. What we need to do is disengage. You can do this in many ways, but this is my favourite way: Take a few deep breaths into the depth of your belly. Feel that power, strength and stability that’s there. With a calm and stable voice, say to the critic: “Thank you for your opinion. I know you try to help me. Right now I don’t need you. Would you be willing to take a few steps back for a moment. I am OK.” Watch and feel as the critic leaves more room for you.