179. Finding Positive in Negative Emotions: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing

179. Finding Positive in Negative Emotions: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing

A double definition of happiness — and how to cultivate both parts.


The new year gives us an opportunity to reflect on who we are and who we want to be. As we set resolutions and prepare for evolutions, this special four-part series on communication, happiness, and well-being explores practical ways to enhance our lives through better communication, deeper connections, and more meaningful choices.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to happiness, but according to Laurie Santos, everyone needs the two key components of contentment and fulfillment — or as she puts it, being happy in your life and happy with your life.

“Being happy in your life [means] your life is filled with joy,” explains Santos, a Yale psychology professor and host of The Happiness Lab podcast. This felt sense of happiness — enjoying where we are, what we do, and who we’re with — is essential, but it’s not the only piece of the puzzle. Being happy with your life, she says, is the belief that “your life is going well. Being happy with your life gets closer to things like fulfillment and purpose.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Santos joins Matt Abrahams to explore how to cultivate both sides of her happiness equation, from building deeper connections with others to transforming the ways we communicate with ourselves.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/ThinkFast and get ten percent off your first month.

Episode Reference Links:


Connect:


Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:08) - Defining Happiness
  • (03:21) - The Role of Negative Emotions
  • (04:54) - Balancing Negative and Positive Emotions
  • (05:45) - Positive Communication
  • (07:18) - Improving Self-Talk
  • (09:50) - Deepening Conversations
  • (11:04) - Navigating Difficult Conversations
  • (12:39) - The Power of Gratitude
  • (15:15) - Technology and Wellbeing
  • (18:33) - The Final Three Questions
  • (22:35) - Conclusion

********
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19. Showing Your Smile From Behind a Mask: How Culture and Emotion Impact Communication

19. Showing Your Smile From Behind a Mask: How Culture and Emotion Impact Communication

“In companies, you’re interacting with other people who come from different cultural contexts, and in order to be effective, you have to understand how much of your own communication and other people’s communication is shaped by their cultural ideas and their cultural values.” On this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, host Matt Abrahams sits down with Jeanne Tsai, an associate professor of Psychology at Stanford and director of the Culture and Emotion Lab. Jeanne’s research focuses on cultural influences on psychological and social processes related to emotion. Jeanne discusses why wearing a mask is more accepted for some cultures, and seen as prohibiting communication in others. “Communication is just one of the places where you really can see culture at work,” she says. “In cultural contexts that promote these more independent views of the self, the core goal of communication is to express yourself, to express those beliefs, preferences and desires that define who you are.” Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

11 Sep 202027min

18. Managing in the Moment: How to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

18. Managing in the Moment: How to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

“The less time you can spend dwelling on your mistakes, the more mental energy you can devote to doing what you need to do in that moment.” On this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Christian Wheeler, the StrataComm Professor of Management and Professor of Marketing at Stanford Graduate School Business, sits down with podcast host and lecturer Matt Abrahams to talk about embracing failure and managing your team in-the-moment. “When we’re confronted with personal failure, it feels bad to us. And we work hard to try to avoid that failure, and that can often be counterproductive,” Wheeler says. “But failing is something that’s on the pathway to success.”Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

28 Aug 202033min

17. Think Fast: You Asked, We Answered

17. Think Fast: You Asked, We Answered

We asked listeners to send in their communication conundrums and ended up with an inbox full of thoughtful, specific questions. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, host and Stanford GSB lecturer Matt Abrahams is joined by Shawon Jackson, MBA ’21, to share techniques on crafting written responses, dealing with constant interruptions, and confronting the power dynamics present in most communication. Shawon is the founder of Our Voices Matter, a public speaking program for high school students of color and a dual-degree student between Stanford GSB and Harvard Kennedy School. Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

13 Aug 202020min

16. Quick Thinks: How to Craft Your Body Language When Confronting Objections

16. Quick Thinks: How to Craft Your Body Language When Confronting Objections

Knowing what to say to a skeptical audience is paramount, but how can your body language communicate empathy, openness, and power? In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, we revisit Matt Abrahams’s conversation with Stanford GSB lecturer Burt Alper about how to keep body language in mind when it comes to handling objections.  Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

31 Juli 20207min

15. The Art of Negotiation: How to Get More of What You Want

15. The Art of Negotiation: How to Get More of What You Want

Whether we realize it or not, we negotiate everyday. But when we approach these situations as a win-or-lose battle, we’re already showing resistance, and setting ourselves up for difficulty. But what if you reframed the whole idea, to think of a negotiation not as a fight, but as a problem-solving exercise involving emotions?In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart Matt Abrahams speaks with Stanford GSB Professor emeritus Maggie Neale (and author of Getting More of What You Want: How the Secrets of Economics and Psychology Can Help You Negotiate Anything, in Business and in Life) about what she has learned in her decades of researching negotiation and the steps that lead to more collaborative problem solving. Listen as Maggie shares tips on how to approach negotiations with intention, and what strategies can help us more easily communicate our wants and needs. Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

16 Juli 202018min

14. Be Better At Work: How to Communicate Better With Coworkers and Employees

14. Be Better At Work: How to Communicate Better With Coworkers and Employees

Most of the work we do requires coordinating and collaborating with others. But how can we ensure the benefits of working with others, while avoiding conflict that’s inherent to communicating within groups?In this episode, Matt Abrahams speaks with Bob Sutton, Professor of Management Science and Engineering at Stanford School of Engineering and GSB Professor of Organizational Behavior (by courtesy) about maximizing productivity while minimizing what he calls “friction.” “So many organizations make the right things too hard to do and the wrong things too easy,” Sutton says. “For communication, to me, a big part of a leader's job is to be clear about where people should focus attention and where they should not focus attention.” Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

2 Juli 202026min

13. Make ’Em Laugh: How to Use Humor as a Secret Weapon in Your Communication

13. Make ’Em Laugh: How to Use Humor as a Secret Weapon in Your Communication

Humor does more than just make people laugh. It allows you to connect with your audience, diffuse tension, elevate status, and compel others to your point of view. Humor can also help you and your message stand out, yet most of us hesitate to use humor, especially in our professional lives.In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Matt Abrahams speaks with Stanford GSB Professor Jennifer Aaker and Lecturer Naomi Bagdonas about when and how humor operates in the work place. “Many believe that humor simply has no place amidst serious work,” Professor Aaker says. “Yet showing your sense of humor can make your peers and your friends attribute more perceptions of confidence and status to us while also cultivating a sense of trust.”Aaker and Bagdonas are are the authors of Humor, Seriously: Why Humor Is a Secret Weapon in Business and Life, which comes out in October of this year. Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

22 Juni 202029min

12. It's Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It: How To Communicate Power

12. It's Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It: How To Communicate Power

Power exists in every relationship — whether we like that idea or not — and to be effective in any role, power needs to be understood. In this episode, Matt Abrahams sits down with Professor of Organizational Behavior Deborah Gruenfeld to discuss her new book, Acting with Power: Why We Are More Powerful Than We Believe. Deborah shares how body language can give us power, or take it from us, and advises how we can use power for good. Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

5 Juni 202022min

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