166 Why Your Marriage Feels The Way It Does

I am joined by Cathy Loerzel to talk about curses, agreements, and vows—what they are, how they come to be, and where to find them in our stories. Cathy articulates the difference between a curse, an agreement, and a vow. She also explains how it is the design of evil for a curse to lead to an agreement, which then leads to a vow. Support the podcast

3 Mars 202052min

If you have experienced trauma, you likely have difficulty with the whole category of kindness… either receiving kindness from others or being kind to yourself, or likely both. When you are not doing well, what is your posture toward yourself? Are you willing to bring kindness, care, and comfort to your suffering heart and body? And, if not, why not? Support the podcast

18 Feb 202026min

Many people are unaware that they have a history of trauma. Trauma has a tendency to hide. But the symptoms don't lie. If you have the symptoms of trauma, it is highly likely that you have a history of trauma—whether you can locate that trauma in your story or not. Today we will look at the symptoms of trauma, as well as address the questions, "What exactly is trauma? What makes something traumatic?" Support the podcast

27 Jan 202026min

Trauma impairs integration in the brain. When you experience trauma, the neural circuits in various regions of your brain do not make enough connections with one another. Here's the good news: there is something you can do to promote integration in your brain. In the book Aware, Dan Siegel shares a mindfulness practice that he developed called The Wheel of Awareness. The Wheel of Awareness helps people to integrate the various regions of their brain. And integration leads to emotional stability, which is to say affect regulation. Support the podcast

13 Jan 202027min

The title of this episode comes from a book by C.S. Lewis called The Screwtape Letters. The Screwtape Letters is a collection of letters written from a senior demon, named Screwtape, to his nephew Wormwood (a lower ranking demon). Screwtape's goal is to advise Wormwood about tactics and strategies for tormenting humans. Today's episode is my attempt to continue in the vein of Lewis by writing six additional letters. Support the podcast

16 Dec 201921min

Triangulation occurs when Mom or Dad becomes emotionally closer to one of the children than to their spouse. Patria and I discuss the fallout of triangulation in the life of the family and the life of the "special" child. The triangulated daughter often becomes hyper-attuned to Dad, and is setup to be envied by Mom and her (unchosen) siblings. It's a devastating dynamic that does immense damage to the heart of the triangulated child. Support the podcast

2 Dec 201939min

Becky Allender and I talk about her book Hidden In Plain Sight, which is a collection of stories designed to invite the reader to engage his or her own story in more depth. Becky shares how her relationship with her Mom led to a style of relating in which she became committed to "staying out of the way and becoming invisible." Becky goes on to talk about the importance of experiencing "sorrow in the care of wise guides" as we engage our story. Support the podcast

18 Nov 201944min

I interview Sam Williamson, author of Hearing God In Conversation. Conversation is possible... even with God. Sam and I talk about what gets in the way of hearing from God, why we tend to have low expectations about hearing from God, and how to begin to learn to hear in our ordinary day to day life. If you enjoy this episode, you might want to go back and listen to Episode 38 — The Process of Learning to Hear from God. Support the podcast

4 Nov 201929min