241-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Nothing quite like a real dad losing his mind over a mediocre joke. You should know if you listen to this show that Tommy was raised by a hardcore dad boner who can barely finish a sentence if he's struck by his own "hilarious" thought. We may have found some competition for Top Dog this week. PLUS, if you are a lady or a ZER do you want a man/zim to treat you like the perfect little princess that you are? Gross. And why do all those girls talk like that, Britttany?!? We are joined in studio by the great Brad Williams a hilarious comic and friend of ours. We break down some hooker sales pitches, guess what FGT RTD means, read your emails and hear Brad's great stories about the lamest stuff he hears from people about being a little person.  This one is a certified denim classic! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Aug 20182h 17min

Done with white people? This guy is too. Not the brightest guy, but he's white so what can you expect? Plus grief is real. The best way to process it is to dance and record it and share it with the world. Please share your grief dances with us! Loud cell phone talkers - please stop or get shot (something we're working on).  The great Matt Braunger returns to the show with a lot of hilarious insight. Check out Matt's new podcast, Advice From a Dip S**t with Matt Braunger.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Aug 20182h 3min

This episode was delayed due to Tom's demanding movie star lifestyle, but don't worry, it's HOME HERE NOW.  Christina had a THEYBY. She and Tom go over the huge upside of raising their child in a gender neutral world.  There's also a new cool guy who is just putting out to the world that he would like some sex and he chooses the most unflattering of camera angles to rope you in.  AND Charo and Top Dog are on the show discussing everything from M**ijuana to Charo's amazing farts and so much more. PLUS, your emails cover ANNOUNCING you have a big dong before you should it to a lover and whether or not your mommies fight before or during the show.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Aug 20181h 56min

This is one really loaded. Upon playback, it hit us. Could this episode be TOO good? Yes, but you deserve it just for hanging with us.  This week we discuss a rapper who likes women who are almost not women - could he like men? Sure seems like it.  We get on the phone with Daddy Long Neck who tells us the full story of his neck, his voice and a potential fight with Crazy Locs (probably not a good idea).  Charo and Tom join us on a call to discuss the new Sicario movie among other things.  THEN due to CP's pregnancy and the recording schedule we had to keep things going, we have a DENTAL UPDATE with Charo and Tom IN STUDIO.  As if that isn't enough, the great and hilarious Nikki Glaser joins us in studio to discuss her blossoming radio career - she hosts You Up? on Sirius, she continues to travel the country performing stand up and she recently taped the CC Roast of Bruce Willis, where she no doubt burned him badly.    Please support our sponsors:  ShadyRays.com code: MOM Stamps.com code: MOM 23andMe.com/mom DollarShaveClub.com/mom Quip.com/mom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Juli 20182h 3min

The Jeans are probably cuddling a new baby (non-gender specific) as you listen to this. Please know that God watches you when you watch porn and you'll probably have to answer to him.  Also, do you think we should get fart mics for the studio we might be moving to?  Pull up your jeans and listen what will be an all time classic.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Juli 20181h 44min

The great Ari Shaffir AKA Airy Shaeffer returns to the motherland. It's always a treat when the most uncompromising podcaster and comic on earth decides to stop in. As usual, Ari doesn't hold back on anything. He's even transitioning (into a European comic).  This one is full of laughs and HO-LEE S**T moments.   Please support our sponsors:  NewYorker.com/mom SquareSpace.com/mom   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Juli 20181h 50min

The great Kevin Nealon is in studio with absolutely amazing stories about his rise in the comedy world.  From his days working the bar at The Improv to Carson and SNL, you will not want this one to end.  Kevin is a natural fit with your mothers. Pull your jeans up for a real treat, meow.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Juli 20181h 50min

It's a double date! Moshe and Natasha join us to discuss the Honeymoon Stand Up Special on Netflix and the mind-blowing reality of their fart situation.  Plus, we learn a lot about Jews and how loud screams from people in pain are indeed FUNNY.    please support our sponsors   Stamps.com code word: MOM There's no reason not to join! Get yours at DollarShaveClub.com/MOM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Juni 20182h 13min