Shame, Perfectionism & Smiling Depression :: Misty and Stephanie [Ep 154]

Today I’ve invited two gals to the kitchen table. We’re chatting about some good-hard topics. Like a good workout, this was a conversation we did and didn’t want to have.

Praise the Lord, “shame” is no longer taboo. More and more people are willing to be vulnerable and share their struggles. And women are finding freedom from the thoughts of unworthiness replaying in their minds.

Since I’m confident Brene Brown’s research and writings stimulated this movement. Here are her words on the topic:

I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive.

In this conversation, Misty, Stephanie & I talk about how often inward shame leads to outward perfectionism. And eventually that can lead to (a new-to-me term) smiling depression.

As women of faith we can take our thoughts of unworthiness and exchange them for the Truth of what Christ has done for us. We can rest in His worthiness on our behalf. And rest in God’s pleasure over us. Believing He is for us and there is nothing we can do to earn or lose His love.

Thank you Misty for being brave and sharing your story. Thank you Stephanie for sharing your own struggles and professional insight. May we show one another grace and freedom, so that no one suffers alone. May more women gather around tables and have similar conversations (sign up here to host a GCM podcast club).

In this hour we chat about:

• Inner shame talk and the burden of unworthiness.
• Smiling depression
• Believing the lie of not good enough
• Becoming aware of our striving to gain worth.
• What steps to take in healing shame/perfectionism/depression.
• Finding safe community to be vulnerable.
• Allowing a counselor to help you find more freedom.
• What makes someone move through shame and why do others get stuck in it.
• How shame impacts 17-24 year olds.
• Two practical activities to increase awareness of other’s love and God’s love towards you.