Don't Mom Alone Podcast27 Feb 2017

Shame, Perfectionism & Smiling Depression :: Misty and Stephanie [Ep 154]

Today I’ve invited two gals to the kitchen table. We’re chatting about some good-hard topics. Like a good workout, this was a conversation we did and didn’t want to have.

Praise the Lord, “shame” is no longer taboo. More and more people are willing to be vulnerable and share their struggles. And women are finding freedom from the thoughts of unworthiness replaying in their minds.

Since I’m confident Brene Brown’s research and writings stimulated this movement. Here are her words on the topic:

I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive.

In this conversation, Misty, Stephanie & I talk about how often inward shame leads to outward perfectionism. And eventually that can lead to (a new-to-me term) smiling depression.

As women of faith we can take our thoughts of unworthiness and exchange them for the Truth of what Christ has done for us. We can rest in His worthiness on our behalf. And rest in God’s pleasure over us. Believing He is for us and there is nothing we can do to earn or lose His love.

Thank you Misty for being brave and sharing your story. Thank you Stephanie for sharing your own struggles and professional insight. May we show one another grace and freedom, so that no one suffers alone. May more women gather around tables and have similar conversations (sign up here to host a GCM podcast club).

In this hour we chat about:

Inner shame talk and the burden of unworthiness.
Smiling depression
Believing the lie of not good enough
Becoming aware of our striving to gain worth.
What steps to take in healing shame/perfectionism/depression.
Finding safe community to be vulnerable.
Allowing a counselor to help you find more freedom.
What makes someone move through shame and why do others get stuck in it.
How shame impacts 17-24 year olds.
Two practical activities to increase awareness of other’s love and God’s love towards you.

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The Ripple Effect of Healthy Sexual Connection :: Francie Winslow [Ep 138]

Three years ago she directed us to soul healing. Two years ago she reminded us of the power of sex in marriage. Francie Winslow is back. This time to share what she’s learned about the exponential impact marital intimacy has on the world around us. In the past two years Francie has been doing extensive research on theology of the body. Exploring how God stamped His image on us. How we express our roles as image bearers through sex in marriage. God is an invisible God who wants to make himself visible to us. When man and woman come together as one it’s his invitation for humanity to become one with God. Intimately connected with Him. Francie shares their own family stress and her personal struggle with anxiety. Things that can disrupt marital connection. She vulnerably shares how she and her husband have purposefully chosen sex over isolation. God’s training us to fight for connection and for each other instead of against each other. Love Francie’s practical tips for keeping technology in check. So often screens and devices creep in between couples, increasing the distance and decreasing the intimacy. Don’t miss the list of great resources below to help train your children in forming a healthy perspective of the body and sex. What we chat about: Francie’s journey to learn sex isn’t dirty or a duty but a delight. Her recent study of theology of the body. How anxiety and adoption stress led Francie and her husband to choose to have more sex (you read that right). How technology impacts our marital connection and practical solutions Help and healing for women who struggle with their view of sex. A reminder to daily do the things that keep you alive as a person. The Ripple Effect of sex in marriage. A word of encouragement for the single mom. Training our kiddos in a healthy sexual worldview (check out Francie’s resource list below). Links Mentioned: Soul Freedom (encore)Episode The Power of Sex in Marriage Episode Andy Crouch Beth Moore’s Daniel Study** Francie’s Resource List: Theology of the Body Books for Kids by Monica Ashour Every Body is Smart: God Helps Me Listen & Choose** Every Body Has a Body: God Made Girls & Boys** Every Body is a Gift : God Made Us to Love** God Has a Plan for Boys & Girls ** Every Body Has Something to Say** Every Body Has Something to Give** Get these books (as many as you can!) and read them over and over and over. They are great for a range of ages – not just toddlers. Not only will it help form a great spiritual foundation for your kids as they enter a sexually intense world as kids (sadly it happens young these days), it will help you as a grown up re-learn how to think about bodies, sexuality and identity. It will also help give you simple, common language to use on an everyday basis in your home. They have all been such a big part of us growing in this new way of seeing the gift of sex as a family. For older kids: The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality** by Luke Gilkerson (there are several others to go with this series too). Loving this one right now with my 8 year old.) Before I Was Born (God’s Design for Sex)** by Carolyn Nostrum Good Pictures, Bad Pictures : Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids ** by Kristen Jensen Theology of His Body/Theology of Her Body** by Jason Evert This was written with college kids in mind, but I found it super helpful and use it woven into conversations with my kids. For those who want more depth…Theology of the Body for Beginners** by Christopher West **Amazon Affiliate Link Sex is a multiplying factor in our lives, not just with producing kids, but producing a massive amount of connection.

17 Okt 201646min