#439 How To Be a Better Communicator with Charles Duhigg

#439 How To Be a Better Communicator with Charles Duhigg

What if the secret to transforming your relationships wasn’t about saying more, but saying it better? I know how hard it can be when communication in your relationship just isn’t working. Those moments when you’re trying so hard to connect, but it feels like you’re speaking two different languages—they’re exhausting and heartbreaking. I’ve seen so many people struggling with this, and I want you to know it doesn’t have to be this way! This week on the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast, I sat down with Charles Duhigg, New York Times bestselling author of Supercommunicators, to dive into how to be a better communicator. We talk about the importance of knowing what kind of conversations you’re having, how to ask better questions to unlock deeper connections, and steps to actually hearing and understanding each other. Whether you’re trying to connect with a partner, a friend, or even a coworker, this conversation is packed with eye-opening insights and actionable tips to help you truly get and be gotten. Chapters: 00:00 - Why communication is the ultimate relationship glue 00:35 - Meet Charles Duhigg, your new favorite communication guru 07:38 - Game-changing tips to up your communication game 08:57 - The art of asking deep, meaningful questions 17:31 - What really works in tough conversations 28:30 - Identifying what people really need from you 31:58 - Building trust through listening and understanding 36:02 - Redefining the goal of conversations 37:49 - Resources for communication skill building My favorite takeaway from this episode was that you don’t have to be born a “supercommunicator.” These are skills that you can learn and improve with practice. So if you’re thinking “Heck yes! I’m ready for some growth!”, check out my free Communication That Connects 2-Part Training. It’s a step-by-step guide to help you understand what’s really going on beneath the disconnect, and how to rebuild the trust and emotional safety that can get lost along the way. Together, we’ll explore tools and strategies to stop the cycle of conflict, restore your connection, and start creating a more positive chapter for your relationships. Also, let’s connect on Instagram or YouTube! I go live every Thursday at 12pm MT on both platforms, diving deeper into topics just like this one and answering all of your personal questions. So check out this episode, and then come chat with me! I’m here to help. 🩵 Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. Know someone who could use this guidance? Maybe a partner or a bestie struggling to communicate? Share this with them! Because better communication makes the world (and your group chats) a much better place.

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#360 - How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

#360 - How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

You know that coworker who drives you nuts? Whether you’re dealing with a controlling coworker, a deadweight, or a bully, difficult people in the workplace can drag down your job satisfaction and performance.  So what can you do? This episode is all about how you can deal with the difficult coworker in your life and continue to succeed at work, no matter what.  I hope you’ll tune in! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

31 Juli 202359min

#359 - Why You Miss Your Ex (and What to Do About It)

#359 - Why You Miss Your Ex (and What to Do About It)

If you’re going through a breakup, you know that missing your Ex is one of the toughest parts of the heartbreak experience. Even if you know the relationship is ultimately not right for you, it’s normal to look back on the happy memories and feel sad that your Ex can no longer be in your life. You might even question whether breaking up was the right choice, or if you should reach out and try to be friends. This episode will help you understand why you miss your Ex, what it means, and how you can transform those difficult moments into something that moves you forward. I hope you’ll find it helpful and healing.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

24 Juli 20231h 3min

#358 - Communication Skills: Reacting Versus Responding

#358 - Communication Skills: Reacting Versus Responding

We've all been there: Your partner says something that just inflames you, and you say something you regret later. Or you instinctively defend yourself and withdraw when things get tense, rather than leaning into a healthy and productive courageous conversation. We all know that being able to react vs. respond is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and healthy relationships. But that can be easier said than done in the middle of a heated conflict.  When you’re frustrated, hurt, or stressed, you might raise your voice, say something you don’t mean, or make an impulsive decision with long-lasting consequences. All of this is bad news for you and for your relationships. But learning the art of being responsive versus reactive leads to deeper, healthier connections, and a life that’s directed by your true values.  That's what we're talking about on today's show. I hope you'll tune in! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

17 Juli 202354min

#357 - Are You In an Emotionally Enmeshed Relationship?

#357 - Are You In an Emotionally Enmeshed Relationship?

If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, or work WAY harder than you should to make sure they're comfy (often at the expense of your own needs), my friend, you may be in an emotionally enmeshed relationship.  In fact, over many years of experience as a couples counselor and relationship coach, I've often found that the true underlying issue behind many relationship conflicts is due to emotional enmeshment and it's sister, codependence. This creates resentment, reactivity, pursuit/withdrawal dynamics and more. Good relationships require individuation, and a healthy self awareness of personal responsibility and healthy boundaries. So how can you create a healthier connection? That’s what this episode is all about! I’m talking about what enmeshed relationships look like, why they’re problematic, and how you can bring your relationship back into balance if emotional enmeshment is creeping in.  I hope you’ll join me! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

10 Juli 202344min

#356 - Power Struggles In Relationships

#356 - Power Struggles In Relationships

Do you feel like you and your partner get stuck in a power struggle where you feel one way, they feel another, and you just cannot compromise?  Today's episode brings real-world relationship advice to help you communicate differently, so that you can break through the gridlock and get back on the same page. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

3 Juli 202345min

#355 - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

#355 - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

When someone we love, trust, and rely on betrays us, it creates a deep, painful wound that doesn’t always heal on its own. As a couples therapist who often works with people around heartbreak recovery after a bad breakup or divorce, and helping couples heal after infidelity, and even in my work as a dating coach, I know that betrayal trauma, or “relationship trauma,” is real, and it can linger on for months or even years without the right care, just like other kinds of trauma.  Even though relationship trauma is very common, it isn’t always recognized by our culture, or even by the people who are suffering from it. I hope this episode helps shift that for you. When you acknowledge the betrayal and how it impacted you, the door to healing and growth cracks open.  If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, I hope listening to this episode helps you gain newfound compassion for what you’ve been through, as well as guidance and direction for how to heal and move forward. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more help around repairing trust and healing after wounding relationship experiences, check out my Heartbreak Recovery and Affair Recovery”collections of articles and podcasts.

26 Juni 202358min

#354 - How to Make a Career Transition

#354 - How to Make a Career Transition

Making a career transition can be a daunting task, especially if you’ve spent years building your expertise in a particular field only to discover you don’t love your work.  How can you know what career would actually feel more satisfying? If you already know where you'd like to go, how can you begin getting there? If you are ready for a career change, this episode will give you some pointers on where to begin. It’s a conversation between myself and my colleague Susan H., M.A., LPCC, a career counselor, coach, and professional development expert on our team at Growing Self. Susan’s point of view on career change is refreshing and insightful — I hope you’ll tune in!  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on changing careers with confidence, check out my “Career Clarity” collection of articles and podcasts.

19 Juni 20231h 1min

#353 - 7 Things that Will Sabotage Couples Counseling

#353 - 7 Things that Will Sabotage Couples Counseling

Getting into couples counseling is a fantastic idea... but you have to know how to engage with the process in order to have a good experience. Unfortunately, it's very easy to make one or more of the super common mistakes that can sabotage couples counseling.  I hope this episode helps you avoid that outcome, and get the help for your relationship you need and deserve. My guest is Jenna P., a marriage counselor and relationship coach on our team at Growing Self. She’s sharing her perspective on the seven things that can sabotage couples counseling, and how to have an experience in counseling that truly benefits you and your relationship.  I hope you’ll join us.  Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on improving your relationship, check out our “Relationship Repair” collection of articles and podcasts.

12 Juni 20231h 5min

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