
Mary Louise Kelly: No More Do Overs
What happens when the people we built our lives around stop needing us? Or when we have to pick between our meaningful careers or our family? And what do we do with the ambiguous grief that comes with every expected and unexpected change? Today, Kate takes an honest look at juggling the demands on our time and on our heart with NPR’s Mary Louise Kelly.Kate and Mary Louise discuss: Debunking the women can “have it all” paradigm and what happens when the things we love come into conflict The limitations of gratitude How our callings pull us into a wider sense of who we belong to How to savor (and mourn) all the lasts as your children grow older This may be a conversation about parenting, but I think there might be something in here for anyone who wonders: Who am I as my relationships change? Can I still find myself there?***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
11 Apr 202341min

Rabbi Steve Leder: Don’t Come Out Empty Handed
How should you show up for people in grief? What do you say? What should you do? Why is it that beauty can exist alongside deep suffering? What can be said at funerals when the person who died was complicated? These are just a few of the questions I wanted to ask Steve Leder—a bestselling author and a rabbi who has presided over a thousand funerals with wisdom and kindness. In this conversation, we discuss: The mysterious way beauty can be found the closer we inch to death (our own or someone else’s). The importance of just showing up. And being you. Honoring someone’s memory at the same time being truthful about how human they were The peace that comes from acknowledging that life is full of dualities “If you have to go through hell, don’t come out empty handed” (Steve Leder), but no, the lessons were never, ever worth the pain CW: suicide, adult language***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
4 Apr 202353min

Michael Ignatieff: Where We Turn For Meaning
Historian and Canadian politician Michael Ignatieff explores the cracks in our seamless worldviews… or at least the worldviews we thought were seamless until we’re faced with tragedies of all kinds. In this wide-ranging exploration, Kate and Michael probe humanity's enduring attempt to console ourselves and construct meaning from our pain.In this conversation, Kate and Michael discuss: Why truth and trust are so important when it comes to finding meaning in our pain The difference between comfort and consolation The limits of stoicism and hyper-futurism What it means to be hopeful The importance of community through pain and suffering Michael does not denigrate anyone’s attempt for comfort, but asks us to look carefully at the consolation that lasts. He asks: What is consolation? And why do we all crave that practice of meaning-making?***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
28 Mars 202341min

Paulina Porizkova: Complicated Grief and Complicated Love
Supermodel Paulina Porizkova has been in the public eye all her life. But it has been a rollercoaster of soaring successes and deep heartache. Grief and pain comes to us all, and in those moments, we need our shared humanity (and not our super-anythingness) to build a bridge back to others.In this tender conversation, Kate and Paulina discuss: How to show up to friends in unsolvable pain Why “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” is just plain wrong Why the assumptions we make about one another are untrue CW: Spicy language***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
21 Mars 202335min

Tom Long: Number Our Days
The Reverend Tom Long wrote the book on funerals. No, really. When grief threatens to swallow us whole, Tom reminds us of our place in a bigger story of hope and faith, of interdependence and the importance of community. He describes the necessity of ritual to pull us into a wider, truer story than the trite version our culture likes to tell.In this warm conversation (trust me! You will laugh!), Kate and Tom discuss: What it means to be called into emotionally-expensive professions (jobs where you decide to really care!) The importance of truth-telling at a funeral Seeing people through the prism of God’s love for them (more specifically—through the lens of their baptism) Why people die at all and what happens with all the love we have for one another (hint: it’s never, ever, ever lost) The importance of the rituals we create to walk people through death and dying No one likes to talk about funerals, but this one is a must-listen. ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
14 Mars 202341min

Elaine Pagels: Love Pulls You Forward
Over thirty years ago, Elaine Pagels’ young son and husband died within the same year. In this tender conversation, Kate and Elaine discuss surviving the aftermath of such devastation, the painful explanations religion often offers, and how we love and keep loving even after so much tragedy. Together, they discuss: The need for connection to others during grief Religion’s often painful and punitive explanations for suffering (and why they aren’t helpful or complete) Why parents often feel like they’ve “failed” when a child dies How suffering pulls us closer to mystery This episode is for someone who has ever had the thought “haven’t I suffered enough?” Elaine and Kate are trusted companions in a life that hasn’t turned out like we thought it should. CW: death of a child, death of a spouse***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731A big thank you to Jed Meyers for contributing his beautiful poem to today's episode. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
7 Mars 202340min

Frank Bruni: Adapting to Loss
Every problem New York Times columnist Frank Bruni faced had a simple fix. Doctors offered reasonable solutions for reasonable problems. Preventative care guaranteed future health. That is, until he woke up one morning without vision in his eye. This experience forced him to rethink how much of life is in our control and how to live fully in the face of unfixable problems.In this conversation, Kate and Frank discuss: Letting go of the idea that life is a series of choices and learning that there are things we can’t fix How the lacquered lives we see on social media deny us the fuller picture of each other’s problems Importance of finding the things that light up our lives and taking the hard stuff bird by bird, vine by vine. ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
28 Feb 202341min

Beth Moore: Back to the Beginning
Beth Moore has been in the limelight for almost thirty years, but during that time, she revealed very little about her formative family history. Now, this world-famous Bible teacher is ready to tell her story for the first time. In this episode, Kate and Beth discuss: How Beth’s faith offered stability during a very unpredictable and unstable childhood The complicated grief that occurs when family members cause deep, unforgivable harm What it means to be fully known (and why that feels better than anything else) Beth’s long-faithfulness despite experiencing rejection, pain, and hurt from her faith community This was Beth’s first interview about her new memoir, and Kate felt so honored to get to ask this wise soul about the role of faith in lives that haven’t worked out like we thought they should. CW: sexual abuse, mental illness***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
21 Feb 202351min





















