Episode 6
Brian encourages listeners to sign his Change.org petition for Panoply to host “Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald’s?” in an official capacity. Brian goes back to calling McDonald’s. The first employee thinks McDonald’s pizza is a great idea and tells Brian he has not experienced any pressure from corporate to not sell pizza. The second McDonald’s answers and says they sell pizza and pasta from 6am to 1am. The employee says they sell pizza because they are owned by a different company but cannot connect Brian with headquarters. Brian’s third call reaches an employee who asks Brian if he has ever seen McDonald’s pizza. Brian says no; the employee says Brian answered his own question; Brian asks the employee why he is speaking in riddles and if someone told him not to talk about McDonald’s pizza.

Avsnitt(392)

360 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 3

360 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 3

On the conclusion of an epic 3-part saga concerning the horrific Altoona-style pizza, I share the results of my accidental plastic consumption with the Kraft corporation and am rewarded handsomely for...

31 Jan 202513min

359 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 2

359 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 2

On the advice of the Kraft corporation, I contact the reference desk at my local public library to determine whether I am in bodily danger from having consumed a Kraft Single with the plastic wrapper ...

29 Jan 202513min

358 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 1

358 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 1

I detail the shocking horror of Altoona-style pizza and suffer my own intestinal mishap in the process.

25 Jan 202519min

357 - New Year Predictions

357 - New Year Predictions

I contact a professional psychic to answer some questions regarding what to expect in the new year vis-à-vis the potential return of certain fast food items, etc.

31 Dec 20248min

356 - Christmas 2024

356 - Christmas 2024

I lament the largely negative impact on my life of sharing a name with a health insurance CEO who was forced to pass away in an act of vigilante justice. Plus, I replay the results of my investigation...

25 Dec 202411min

355 - Coincidences

355 - Coincidences

I explore the many disturbing coincidences between my investigative journalism program (or IJP) and the assassination of a lesser-known and, frankly, lesser-beloved Brian Thompson.

10 Dec 202412min

354 - Emergency Live Broadcast

354 - Emergency Live Broadcast

In light of the assassination of another Brian Thompson very near my home, I go into hiding in one of New York City's most central parks and update my listeners via a live "proof of life" broadcast.

5 Dec 202418min

353 - Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway

353 - Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway

To celebrate American Thanksgiving, I plan to generously give away turkeys with cavities full of educational literature.

28 Nov 202413min

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