Episode 16
Brian calls a McDonald’s location in Australia to ask if Australian locations ever served pizza. The employee directs Brian to the Australian website for answers. Brian calls a McDonald’s in France, asks the employee in French if they have pizza, and is hung up on. Brian calls a location in the U.K. and discovers that they sold pizza 15-20 years ago and is advised to call corporate for more information. Brian calls another location using an accent to inquire about pizza, but the employee cannot understand him.Brian gives the Panoply Network a final deadline to pick up the podcast, after which he will begin negotiations with Gimlet Media. Gimlet Media was selected via a poll on the podcast’s Twitter account.

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376 - A Windfall

376 - A Windfall

After working as a personal butler to a deranged, elderly former actress, I inherit her fortune upon her untimely death and use it to procure a communist child heir/apprentice from a Christian adoptio...

18 Sep 202518min

375 - Forgiving Satan

375 - Forgiving Satan

In a follow-up to last week's episode, I question my favorite prayer hotline about why they hung up on me for asking if God and Satan could "bury the hatchet" and allow Devil-worshippers into Heaven.

31 Juli 202510min

374 - RIPizza, Ozzy Osbourne

374 - RIPizza, Ozzy Osbourne

I would like to induct the pioneering pizza enthusiast Mr. Ozzy Osbourne into my celebrity hall of fame, but hesitate to do so on account of he worshipped Satan. Can I solve this problem by healing th...

26 Juli 202514min

373 - McPizza Bites

373 - McPizza Bites

Our Canadian deputy journalist files a report on his country's "new" McPizza Bites, which are part of McDonald's Canada's crime-glorifying International Heist Menu.

19 Juli 202516min

372 - Pool Boy

372 - Pool Boy

After a long hiatus wherein I was evicted from my New York City apartment and hitchhiked across the United States to return to Los Angeles, I detail the details of my current living situation with a d...

10 Juli 202517min

371 - Slop

371 - Slop

My thoughts on the election of the latest pope are put on hold as I deal with a copyright dispute concerning the unauthorized use of my image in a YouTube "thirst trap" video.

13 Maj 202523min

370 - College of Cardinals

370 - College of Cardinals

I examine Cardinal Pizzaball's potential competition in the race to become the next pope. Plus, I discuss updates on the matter of last year's assassination of a lesser-liked Brian Thompson. And I det...

28 Apr 202514min

369 - Farewell, The Pope

369 - Farewell, The Pope

I wish a fond farewell to Pope Francis, a.k.a. The Pope, and ruminate on the notion that his passing away might have something to do with my placing U.S. President Donald Trump under citizens' arrest.

24 Apr 202512min

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