#443 Love Shouldn’t Erase You: How to Stop Losing Yourself in a Relationship

Ever felt like you completely lost yourself in a relationship? Like one day you woke up and thought, Wait… who even am I anymore? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and, spoiler alert, it’s not just in your head. There’s real science behind why we fuse our identities with our partners and why breakups can feel like more than just heartbreak—they can feel like an identity crisis. In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with relationship scientist Dr. Morgan Cope to break down the psychology behind losing yourself in a relationship, why it happens, and most importantly—how to rebuild your identity after love. Whether you're freshly single, in a relationship that feels too enmeshed, or just curious about how relationships shape our sense of self, this episode is packed with insights, humor, and practical strategies to help you come back to YOU. Timestamps: 00:00 - Is Losing Yourself in a Relationship a Real Thing? 00:35 - Meet Dr. Morgan Cope & Her Research on Relationships & Identity 01:00 Understanding Identity in Relationships 03:07 - Attachment Styles and Identity 07:30 - Impact of Breakups on Identity 24:42 - Mental and Physical Effects of Breakups 30:27 - Fear of Being Single 32:02 - Changing the Environment vs Changing Yourself 36:56 - Rebounding and Self-Expansion 39:14 - Identity and Values Assessment 44:11 - Cult Psychology and Group Identity 51:21 - Personal Growth Through Relationship Challenges Feeling lost after a breakup? I know how hard it can be to find yourself again, so I created something to help you out on your healing journey. Check out my FREE Breakup Recovery Quiz to get personalized insights on where you are in your healing journey & how to move forward so you can begin to feel like yourself again. And if you’d like to keep this conversation going, I’d love to hear from you! You can find me on YouTube or Instagram. Every week, I drop a new podcast episode dedicated to your personal growth and healing so you can create love, happiness, and success in your life. I hope to see you there! Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who might need to hear this? Share this video with a friend who’s struggling in their relationship or going through a tough breakup. 💕