Episode 22: Autism and Pregnancy Loss: An Autistic Journey of Grief and Identity (featuring Dr. Kiley Hanish)

Pregnancy loss is traumatic and the grief process that follows is complex. And when you are Autistic, the way you express grief and loss might not meet the expectations of society, which can result in feeling ashamed and isolated.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, speak with Dr. Kiley Hanish, a neurodivergent occupational therapist specializing in mental health during the perinatal period, about autistic grief and loss while focusing on pregnancy loss.

Both Dr. Neff and Kiley, who are both Autistic, experienced pregnancy loss and they talk about their experiences personally, within the medical system, going through pregnancy again after experiencing loss, having to parent their children after pregnancy loss, then sensory overwhelm that comes with pregnancy and parenting, and the ongoing process of grieving.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Hear about the profound grief associated not only with losing a child but also with the loss of one's identity when becoming a parent.
2. Understand some of the many ways that grief can manifest, and learn how to incorporate rituals and practices into the grieving process to honor your loss that is tailored toward the needs of autistic individuals.
3. Identify the ways that the healthcare system can improve the responses to individuals experiencing pregnancy loss to help create safety and reduce trauma in difficult times.

When experiencing loss, it’s not realistic to just “get over” the grief and move on. There are many complex emotions and often misunderstandings about what is the right way to deal with grief, especially when autism is brought into the equation. If you are experiencing this loss, you’re not alone and your experience is valid regardless of whether other people say you are “doing it right.”

More about Dr. Kiley Hanish:

Dr. Kiley Hanish is a neurodivergent occupational therapist specializing in mental health during the perinatal period, which includes pregnancy, postpartum, and perinatal loss. After suffering the stillbirth and loss of her first child Norbert, Kiley co-created the Emmy-nominated film Return To Zero to break the silence and stigma around pregnancy and infant loss for parents around the world. The film’s success and critical acclaim led to her non-profit organization Return to Zero: HOPE. This organization provides inclusive and compassionate education and support for bereaved families after pregnancy and infant loss. In addition, they provide training and support for health providers in order to foster more confidence when working with these families.

• Return to Zero: HOPE Website: https://rtzhope.org
• Kiley’s Instagram and Facebook: @rtzhope

Additional Resources Mentioned

• Worden’s Four Tasks Of Grieving: https://whatsyourgrief.com/wordens-four-tasks-of-mournin

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